Randall W. Frost
An Irish, Scottish, Russian, and German Hybrid of a man
I'm a twenty six year old who lives in the USA. I've traveled a bit, but I've always been sucked back into the pits of hell, that I call my home town.
Why I live
When all I know
In my years alive I've had the pleasure of meeting some of the most amazing people. I've also had many relationships. Which have all ended badly. Yet there was only three women that I ever was with that I would give up everything to change how it turned out. The fact I lost them haunts every day, but I push on.
The women I speak of are here on Gaia, I met one here and brought the other two here. I was happy when I was with the one I met here. The moment I lost her I went mad, literally insane. I only recall small bits of what I said or did, but it was enough to make me suffer. I drove a massive wedge between my emotions and life. It seems easier to go on not caring about those not in your family. I even went as far as to "cut out" the dream of being with anyone again. Awhile ago I've found out a truth, it took me getting drunk and being really tried to do so. I told someone about my feelings for them, at the time I wished I had sooner. Just hearing her voice made me calm. I also figured out that the woman that almost wrecked me, and the one I love are two completely different people. Their similarities where massive at the start, but I know now that I was lying to myself, out of fear. I moved to live with her, but things didn’t work out. and I was sent back into a the hellish emotionless beast i had became before. Now finally I've found another, well She's always been there, but I was too blind to see that.
rules my life
but never rules my heart.
After things didn’t work out between me and the woman I moved clear across the USA for, I became homeless. I quickly realized drinking and being homeless was not for me. I started partaking in meeting and even got myself into sober housing. I currently am working and trying to recover from all the damage I’ve done to myself and others. However with all my efforts I still cannot stop the pain I feel after losing those three women. I still love all of them, probably always will. I still don’t fully understand why I gave up everything for one of them, but I carry one the best I can. I've recently reconnected with my family and old friends, a woman i once dated before has not only filled a hole in my life, but has awoken me from my emotionless state.