The Great Mattsby's avatar

Registered: 10/30/2008

Gender: Male

Location: Venus

Occupation: Cultist

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute cookies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy eveningwear. I do not perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured Albania with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby d**k, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the BBC. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in Australia, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

The Great Mattsby
in the flesh

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Here's to you, my dear friends. I love you with all my heart.

View All Comments

Nice Sky Report | 05/03/2015 5:04 pm
Nice Sky
eek LOL okay!
Ther'e is nothing to do now in reality besides talking to friends on Gaia which it's really interesting and fun rolleyes
it's already MAY, boy the allergies are real
JekylI Report | 05/03/2015 5:00 pm
throwing goats at ur castle and declarin war.
Nice Sky Report | 05/03/2015 4:43 pm
Nice Sky
I'm doing fine right here biggrin only a little tired from work!
How are you? xd
Nice Sky Report | 05/03/2015 4:06 pm
Nice Sky
I thought it'll be nice to drop by to say hi! biggrin
Crimson Rozu Report | 04/26/2015 2:42 pm
Crimson Rozu
Oh, I see.
I'm glad she is doing okay.
I'm okay, just yearning for school to be over.
And, yeah I tok my exam a few days ago and I just got my grade back. I got a C on my third exam and a B on my second exam and an A on my first exam. Therefore, I have an 86% in class, I used to have a 96% but it dropped down...-.-
Hopefully my participation points and my final exam will bring it up. stare
Crimson Rozu Report | 04/23/2015 2:53 pm
Crimson Rozu
*hugs back*
No, I haven't yet however I did report him to somebody else.
How is your mom?
Crimson Rozu Report | 04/22/2015 6:26 pm
Crimson Rozu
Don't worry about it, I am bad at replying myself.
Yes, he has FINALLY graded my exam, THANK EFFING GOSH. stare
Ironically, I just took an another exam today. -___-
How have you been?
Crimson Rozu Report | 04/15/2015 12:13 pm
Crimson Rozu
Mass Media Communication.
Good question, he said he would grade my exam ON MONDAY, however I checked my school website and he STILL HAS NOT graded my exam.
I even emailed him yesterday and no response...
I am going to report him to the chairperson of the Communication Department today and then, I will explain what is going on.
This is horrible...I have never experienced this before...

Really? What''s wrong? I hope you feel better soon.
Crimson Rozu Report | 04/14/2015 3:01 pm
Crimson Rozu
That's good to hear.
I'm doing alright, I am a bit frustrated at my professor at the moment.
He;s being slothful when it comes to grading my exam. -.-
I also need to figure out what classes I should take next semester, so I am meeting my academic adviser tomorrow.

Anyhow, How about you? *hugs back*
Crimson Rozu Report | 04/08/2015 8:28 pm
Crimson Rozu
I hope she has a successful surgery.
I am sure she will be fine. ^.^


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Wasted views, that's all they see Blue.

Hot blood, guilt, optic nerve.

With the right attitude you will succeed, Blue.


Okay Computer on 05/03/2015
r00dness on 05/03/2015
Crimson Rozu on 05/03/2015
Nice Sky on 05/02/2015
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Odori-ble Kitty on 04/29/2015
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l - A i k o - l on 04/28/2015
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