Tasusa, reporting for duty! And if you're reading this, then I've probably bored you with my completely unamazing life story a trillion times before, but just in case you're new to Tasusa Land, I guess I'll cover a few pointers. Let's see here, I first graced the face of the Earth when my birth pod crash-landed in Kansas after being blasted into space by my parents to spare me from the destruction of Krypton. After my Kansas fiasco, I moved on to Japan, where I trained to become an expert ninja with the Zen Buddhist monks of Hokkaido. I completed this training just in time, for once I was awarded with the famed triple-dragon black belt (an honor only achieved by two other living individuals, Chuck Norris and Jet Li), Earth had been invaded by extraterrestrial forces led by my evil twin sister from another dimension! Needless to say, we had an epic battle, and I, being the orange-skinned, sexy Kryptonian chick that I am, triumphed. I was elected President of Earth by the human race a few weeks later, and here I am with you today. Live long and prosper!