Symmachus

Symmachus's avatar

Registered: 09/03/2007

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  • Gramster Gladiator[121]
  • Lawn Gnome Clipper[122]
  • Lawn Gnome Mower[123]
  • Pink Flamingo Fighter[125]
  • Mushroom Cannon Thumper[128]
  • Air Fluff Deflater[131]
  • Garlic Picker[134]
  • Skeeter Squasher[137]
  • Laceback Bootsnake Skinner[140]
  • Cherry Fluff Victor[149]
  • Kokeshi Doll Trickster[158]
  • Goof Course[221]
  • Gnoman's Land[222]
  • Durem Blockade[224]
  • Hallowed Ground[246]
  • Ranch Hand[250]
  • Barton 3[251]
 

About

Felicitous salutations, everyone.

I am Symmachus, Magus of the Nine Magicks, Conjurer of Cheap Tricks, Effervescence Extraordinaire, and Post Man on Tuesdays.

For those who prefer to know me on more cordial terms than the wrong end of a Staff of Summoning, I am Faustino the Great, Plumber of the Unknowable Depths, Keeper of the Seven Seals, although they do make quite a racket if I haven't given them a fish in a while, you know.

Actually, I am not a vampire, nor am I a friend of them. I'd sooner keep snakes in the house. They smell terrible. I ask you, why do they have to have that long greasy hair down their foreheads and be up and about at all odd hours of the night?

Or when they start their turning. It's as bad as puberty. They knock on my door at the unholy hour of two in the evening asking to be changed back out of some odd form or another. Powerful vampires, my arse! Those sods are rather pasty, skinny little fellows. Couldn't hurt a fly.

Hmm-hmm-hmm, yes, yes. A rather shoddy business, I must admit. And then werewolves. All that running around in nature isn't good for you. They track mud over the carpets and bring fleas into the house. Next thing you know, they'll be licking their arse in public.

No, no. Keep nice with the townsfolk, treat em real nice, and they'll treat you all nice. Of course they come after you with all that pitchforks and rot, you were sucking blood and breaking necks and stuff. It's not done nowadays. Now back when I was a young'un, you got proper vampires then, mind you. Not this bleedin' angst stuff. They were proper gentlemen, they were. 'Course, they'd rip your throat out without a second thought, but they did it courteously.

Well, listen to me prattle on. I'll be leaving you to your other introductions, though I may pipe in from time to time.

Whassat? Lunchtime already? Oh, I am quite partial to crumpets.

*************************

No, really, who am I?

A rather silly artist who enjoys writing, guitar, art, fine women, fine wines, and fine marijuana. What more do I need to cover? Except maybe that marijuana gives you cancer faster than eating charcoal. Don't touch it, kiddies.

Yes, this is me. No, you may not know my age.
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. click to show.

Okay, yeah, that's not me. This is.

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Comments

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Nyebe Report | 02/28/2013 12:01 pm
Nyebe
i was reading some oldddd guild comments and suddenly THE FEELS
OMG I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH :'(

Shiblets Report | 11/22/2012 1:48 pm
Shiblets
SORRY.
When I recognized Gaia items in your art I had to see...XD
(If you're like who the $#$^* is this....Think deviantart, same username).
Ameisen Report | 09/25/2010 11:47 am
Ameisen
Are you as dubiously cool as you appear to be on the surface?
Cryoma Report | 01/08/2010 9:46 pm
Cryoma
THIS HERE GUY OWES ME A TRILLION DOLLARS.
Kait Yslanaa Report | 12/08/2009 2:42 pm
Kait Yslanaa
Thank you as well.
How ya been?
Kait Yslanaa Report | 12/07/2009 8:22 pm
Kait Yslanaa
Nice avatar.
Nyebe Report | 11/08/2009 5:50 pm
Nyebe
poke



*runs away crackling*
The one that never was Report | 07/30/2009 5:58 pm
The one that never was
Aye, it seems it does. :/
The one that never was Report | 07/30/2009 5:32 pm
The one that never was
Little less than a month it seems. o.o

Looks like Rebirth is on a roller-coaster, it has lots of activity and then pretty much none for days. :/
The one that never was Report | 07/30/2009 5:23 pm
The one that never was
How are you? o_o
 

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Thank you so much for the arts, Nyebe! ~<3