I pray that none of the following offends you as it is not my intention. This is my own personal experience and it has made me a better person today.
Click the spoilers to read further.
I have been changed. Profoundly so. Let me tell you my story.. my testimony- the reason I chose to follow Him.
I wasn't always like this. But I'm not always perfect- even up til now.
I'm not always nice, I'm not always in control of my temper. But I feel much, much better than I ever felt.
My life changed in 2012. Before that..I was in fits of anger, depression, always cursing in my mind and at times, out loud. I was a constant liar, I lusted over anything and anyone that looked good.
I've thought of suicide countless times but was too scared to actually go through with it. And in first few months of 2012..I was at my peak. I have had enough. Most of my life was filled with negative feelings, thoughts, words, and actions that I've chosen to engage in.
Feeling on the brink of committing suicide, I wanted it to all end. But not physically. I wanted to end these feelings of negativity, helplessness, worthlessness, I wanted to feel joy again. And the very thing I did at that point..was to pray.
I prayed to God- like speaking with a best friend who'll always be there for you and to listen to whatever you have to say. I've asked for forgiveness for the way I've been living. I was in tears, full of guilt and after all was said..I felt whole again.. like all the weight on my shoulders and deep within my soul has been lifted.
I felt like I was given another chance to start over. And that is forgiveness. If you ever feel guilty of anything, let Him heal you. Let Him know you feel remorseful for what you've done, said, thought of. Don't ever let the Enemy make you resurface those feelings of guilt after you've already confessed your sins. Trust that Jesus Christ's sacrifice is stronger than the Enemy, that He has the power to break the bonds of sin, past, guilt, etc.
I prayed for Him to change my life, to turn it around a full 360 degrees for the better, and for Him to help me each day.
Since then..He has radically changed who I am.
I'm not perfect, I am a work-in-progress. Always letting Him down in some way or another but I'll always strive to follow Him no matter what.
He has deepened my faith and understanding. My days are filled with purpose. I have hope now. I want to give the love He gave me ..back to others.
It is once in a blue moon that I have ever thought of suicide but when I do, I remind myself that to commit suicide would be to commit murder on my own body. To kill a life, a Holy Temple in which He has given me as a gift. And in doing so, I may go to hell.
Now..why would a loving God do such a thing you ask?
Keep in mind that God is Holy and Just. He is the Judge and since He is Holy and Just, He does not allow the unrepentant to go to Heaven. It wouldn't be fair to those who are righteous and who follow Him to the best of their ability.
Would you think a judge on earth is just in letting a murderer go without punishment in jail? He has given us free-will to choose whether or not to follow Him.
I was an unbeliever even though I was baptized as a Roman Catholic. I went to Church without any feeling..without really taking the sermons to heart. Without following Him. He's shown me that living the dangerous and negative life I was living before..was why I needed Him. I needed a rescue and He delivered me from a chaotic path.
I am brand new. I stumble sometimes, yes..but I don't fall. I know I can depend on Him. Whenever I stop reading the Bible, I forget who I am, and what I should do. I start to revert back to my sinful ways. But I do my best to acknowledge Him in everything one day at a time by praying, thanking Him, and picking the Bible back up again.
I know things don't always go the way we plan it but He'll always be here for us no matter what.
16Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Sometimes we think that the bad things that happen to us is God punishing us. But it's not. Like I said..there are two plans. God's plan and the Enemy's plan. If we make an effort to follow Him, He will reward us and change our lives for the better.
There are just so many occurrences where I've felt God's presence and love for me. Even though I was an unrepentant sinner, He still waited patiently for me to turn to Him. He has done SO many things for me that I haven't noticed before ever since I've turned to Him. He's shown me how to love others, He's healed my past hurts and situations. He's helped me to forgive and let go. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner.. was you.” ~Lewis B.
My name is Crissy and this is my story. My testimony to the One who changed me for the better.
I currently live in Canada. College keeps me busy, but I'll try to get to all the messages I receive.
"Having a rough day?
Place your hand over your heart.
That's called purpose.
You're alive for a reason.
Don't give up"
All glory and honor to God. I take no credit for anything I've said. I wouldn't have taken the time to type out my testimony, along with the media, had I not been inspired by Jesus Christ to do so.
If you have any questions/comments, please leave a message by clicking on the word 'Comment' at the bottom as I do enjoy a good conversation or feel free to send a PM my way. : )
Well, on DA it took me a while to get myself some exposure for my commissions. Even though I don't get too much attention when it comes to commissions overall. However on Gaia I received attention with commissions without actually meaning to. I had closed them so I could work on some things but I'll be reopening them because someone wanted to request a commission. But that's after I finish with my current work.
Thank you. xD And I honestly don't see myself selling my images for Gaia Coins. I find it much better to stay with Paypal, or even DA's points for payment option so I know what I'm doing. I'd hate to sell a bunch of crap and then find out that I've been selling myself short the entire time.
I mean digital painting~. Jesus Christ, me painting traditionally wouldn't turn out that nice.
I haven't exposed my art on here yet, honestly. Mainly because I'm currently working on a picture and I'd like to draw my AVI before going to the art corner in the forums. To you know, have something to show. And also have something for my profile. http://yangiruu.deviantart.com/ But here's my DA if you'd like to look at some previous stuff.
For now, I'm just drawing a whole bunch of anime digitally but I have been interested in semi-realistic styles. I just haven't found the time to actually attempt it. And I'm kind of scared to fail, since I have before. Not with attempting to draw semi-realistically, but with painting itself.
No worries, although my general approach towards inviting people may seem a bit uninviting, I'm actually always open for new friends.
You may call me Yuu, or Miyu if you prefer it. It's nice meeting you.
; She reached out to the extended hand, and gave it a gentle shake. ;
gaia_angelleftgaia_kittenstargaia_angelright Greetings again Spirit Reborn. I am having a good time in real life, though it's summer it's mostly hot weather, with air conditioner off most of the time. I am just sweaty person mostly in front of this computer haha.
Thank you for your caring and respond. I am grateful we both are well and living. Spirit Reborn, yes it has been a loooong time. Gaiaonline is still around is a miracle. gaia_crown
emotion_bigheart Greetings, Spirit Reborn, I saw the video on your profile. As a person who met you on internet; spoke with each other for quite some times and did care for each other (still do, I bet whenever we talk emotion_hug), I personally believe it is spreading bad karma upon ourselves and spread fear to others when we say we are sinned from the day we were born sad I surely believe you have great intention (I really do) and that believe works well for you thus far too. I thank you for sharing your believes to people who needs that.
I sincerely know this following is absolutely one of the best videos I have seen and this changed my life in the way I never thought it would lead me to this day. I listen this sometimes whenever I wake up. As a friend of yours, Spirit Reborn, I share this with you, knowing you will continue to do great as you have been smile