About

******** yes, I AM Dylan. If you're reading this, than congratulations! You've won a free tip! Don't smoke pot and order food at McDonalds. s**t is harder than a priest on a playground. But you don't care about that, do you? Let's get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we? Yes, you want to know all about because I am a sexy man-beast. But, yes, let's begin. I am currently sixteen years old. I love being sixteen. I think it's liberating to be mature enough to make decisions but immature to the point where I always learn something from the choices we make. My life goal is to become a stand-up comedian. It's tough, but I don't there is anything more rewarding than making somebody laugh. Unless, whenever somebody laughed, they would hand me a nicklebag and a twenty dollar bill. That would be more rewarding. I am also a deist. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I do believe in a God, but no religion has really convinced me yet. It's alright, I'm pretty sure God is all like, "Whatev, dawg" about it. If he can make boobies, he must be a pretty cool guy. I love thrash metal, and classic rock. My favorite bands are Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, Three Dog Night, Iron Maiden, and other such hand-banging material. Yes, well, that is the nitty-gritty. Peace! (Not really, peace is impossible. Humans fight, it's our instinct. Sorry peace-lovers, but you're ********.)



What I Hate:
Not Shelby
Insane Clown Posse
Japanophiles
Weeaboos
Insane Clown Posse
GRRL GAMERS
TWIIIIIIILIIIIIIIGHT
Juggalos.
Halo 3
Every Final Fantasy after 7. Even FF7 was pretty weak.
Pop Punk
Goth music
People who brag about how they play guitar, no matter how hard they suck
People who refuse to learn anything
Modern Metallica. Death Magnetic was alright, though.
Every Sonic game except 1, 2, and 3 & Knuckles.
The Wii.
People who whine instead of standing up and saying, "Whining is for faggots."
People who dislike classical music. Shut the ******** up you ultra modern pricks.
Carlos Mencia
******** INSANE CLOWN POSSE. I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THEY ARE THE WORST BAND EVER AND THEIR FANS HAVE A FAITH AS STRONG AS STEEL IN THEM FOR NO ******** REASON. ********.


What I Love:
Shelby
Muscle cars
Thrash Metal
Heavy Metal
Books
Shelby
Nachos
Playing the bass
People who can laugh at themselves
Video games
Shelby
Stand-up Comedy
Soda
Lime flavored things
Lime flavored soda (THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME!)
My beloved Lime flavored, bass playing, book reading, soda drinking, Shelby Silverwing. <3



To be, or not to be, — that is the question: —
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? — To die, to sleep, —
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, — 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; —
To sleep, perchance to dream: — ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death, —
The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, — puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know naught of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard, their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.



















Though the world is so full of a number things,
I know we should all be as happy as
But are we?
No, definitely no, positively no.
Decidedly no. Mm mm.
Short people have long faces and
Long people have short faces.
Big people have little humor
And little people have no humor at all!
And in the words of that immortal buddy
Samuel J. Snodgrass, as he was about to be lead
To the guillotine:

Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
(Ha ha!)
My dad said "Be an actor, my son
But be a comical one
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines"

Now you could study Shakespeare and be quite elite
And you can charm the critics and have nothin' to eat
Just slip on a banana peel
The world's at your feet
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh

Make 'em...
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh
My grandpa said go out and tell 'em a joke
But give it plenty of hoke

Make 'em roar
Make 'em scream
Take a fall
But a wall
Split a seam

You start off by pretending
You're a dancer with grace
You wiggle 'till they're
Giggling all over the place
And then you get a great big custard pie in the face
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh!