Boondock Saints Prayer

And shepherds we shall be, for Thee my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
And we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

Ryuzaki Ocelot

Ryuzaki Ocelot's avatar

Last Login: 03/27/2014 3:31 pm

Registered: 07/28/2008

Gender: Male

Birthday: 12/17/1991

Memorial

R.I.P. James Owen Sullivan a.k.a. Jimmy Sullivan a.k.a. The Rev
(February 10, 1981 - December 28, 2009)

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A look inside the odd one

Let's see...... what about me do people want to know? I'm..... odd, in many, many ways! ^.^ Most people think I'm weird, but for some odd reason, my friends like that about me... so yay them!!! I'm normally quiet, but I'll open my mouth to say what I think's important. Well, ironically enough, I'm a follower, not a leader, but I HATE taking orders. I have a stray cat personality, and a stray cat lives free, but who knows...? The girl to make me a house cat has to be out there.... Somewhere, y'know?

Maybe I should include some basic stuff....?
I'm 5'11", green and brown eyes, dark brown long hair.
My favorite drink EVER is Monster
I listen to a lot of different music, in Japanese, English, and German. Right now, I really listen to Avenged Sevenfold, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, UVERworld, Rie Fu, Utada Hikaru, Orange Range, and Gackt.

I'm the kind of person who, at times, gets so lost in thought... I'll look right at you, but won't see you at all. And, lately, I've been trying to figure out what to do with myself, what it all means, and whether or not I should just give up, y'know? Sometimes life feels like an exercise in futility, like nothing at all matters, and I should give up, but there's something in me... something telling me not to. Kinda like I have someone on my side, even when I'm all alone, with no one beside me. As Sick Puppies put it, "Welcome to my world, where everyone I ever need always ends up leaving me alone."
Recently, someone changed my life, made me... happy. I don't want to go back, but it just... hurts. There was a kind of... warmth I had never felt, like no matter what happened, everything would be great, y'know? The warm feeling is all but gone... I'm slipping slowly into how I used to be, how I swore I'd never be again. I keep finding myself saying things I thought I had control over, that I never thought I'd hear come from my mouth again... Just, please do me a favor, and never ask me if I'm ok. Even if I say I am, I'm probably lying.
One of my friends used to tell me "You can't trust nice people. You ARE nice, but you're different... You have a hint of darkness, which tells me you're sincere in how you are."
Light with a twist of darkness... That does seem to sum me up kinda well... Though, lately, it just feels like the darkness is... well, stronger, more distinct at times... And I keep hoping I'll find someone who'll help me, who'll make me be at peace, but no one ever shows up. Will I be consumed by my inner darkness? Will my light fade away into nothingness? I don't want to become the old me again, but I might have no choice... I never used to trust anyone, but no one ever hurt me... I just... want someone... who, and for what, I don't know... but I know that, whoever they are, I need them... Every day, I feel myself slipping, losing my grip on everything I've accomplished, and surrendering to instinct over all else, and that is the instinct of self-preservation. If you keep someone at arm's length, they can't stab you in the back... Deep down, I know in my heart that I probably won't find who I need... but without hope, what else do I really have..? Although, the saying goes "Hope is wasted on the hopeless....."








Current Song That Describes Me

So What I Lied by Sick Puppies

The window's cracked, I'm looking out
I see her and I'm filled with doubt
I don't know if this parking place
Is just another empty space
Words I've said aren't coming true
I don't know if it's me or you
This promise is too hard to keep
I have to speak

So what, I lied
But the truth would've been suicide
Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it's way too short
Don't blame me for not being subservient to others' needs
I'm at the point where honesty just doesn't f**king work for me

I did my best to try and be
A mirror of society
But we both know the mirror's cracked
And everybody's in the act
Faking what they cannot feel
Hoping they can make it real
Reality is killing me

So what, I lied
But the truth would've been suicide
Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it's way too short
Don't blame me for not being subservient to others' needs
I'm at the point where honesty just doesn't f**king work for me

Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it's way too short

Erect a life I'll never see
I'll stand back from the scenery
And laugh at all the other guys
Who never could escape in time
Stuck like flies on sticky tongues
Chewed up 'fore their life is done
I'm not here to compromise or apologize

So what, I lied
But the truth would've been suicide
Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it's way too short
Don't blame me for not being subservient to others' needs
I'm at the point where honesty just doesn't f**king work for me

Life-is too f**king short
It's too f**king short
It's too f**king short

My Funeral - Dope

Nothing For Me Here - Dope

Avi I Aspire To


Items:
Assassin's Guise (owned)
Pale Marionette
Coal Gunner Boots (owned)
Gray Torque Pants (owned)
Rogue Narok
Prince of Thieves
Black Rectangular Glasses (owned)

Media

Comments

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Lizzy Hhe Report | 06/20/2011 9:00 am
Lizzy Hhe
http://www.youtube.com/user/MarbleHornets#p/

There are more videos to the channel ^
Have you seen them?
Lizzy Hhe Report | 05/06/2011 1:33 pm
Lizzy Hhe
I feel special that my friend let me borrow her set of death note. ^^
Usually she doesnt let her friends borrow her books. Im trusted. : D
Lizzy Hhe Report | 05/05/2011 4:40 pm
Lizzy Hhe
Yeeeahhh. . . .

But I needed something to read every morning.
Lizzy Hhe Report | 05/03/2011 1:19 pm
Lizzy Hhe
Thank you~ It only took me. . .a few months. . e.e;

Lizzy Hhe Report | 04/28/2011 2:37 pm
Lizzy Hhe
I have finished reading DeathNote.
Lizzy Hhe Report | 02/06/2011 6:03 pm
Lizzy Hhe
Have you played Black Ops? o-e;
My brother is obsessed over that game.
Lizzy Hhe Report | 02/06/2011 6:00 pm
Lizzy Hhe
Yeah but there are A LOT of video games. xD
Lizzy Hhe Report | 02/06/2011 5:53 pm
Lizzy Hhe
I probably will. x__x
But I've done that once when I hardly knew of any video games outside to the SNES. xD
Lizzy Hhe Report | 02/05/2011 6:00 pm
Lizzy Hhe
The only day I can spend all day playing a video game is.....summer.
Lizzy Hhe Report | 02/05/2011 5:29 pm
Lizzy Hhe
I guess. : D

I wish I could take a day off and actually play video games though. x__x
 
 
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Ryuzaki Ocelot
SolitaryRose-Brier
Phantom Image
DeerestHammy
Stitched Dollie
Stitched Dollie
DeerestHammy
Ryuzaki Ocelot
michirukurasaki15
BlackCatGaara
Rhys-PB
MeimeiSawr
The Fifth of Two
GoIdfishy
ShelltheWorldsDestroyer
Moonphase Kaiya

The avi-artists

Neku

Shiki

Joshua

Beat

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

My light side

People I know mourning Jimmy Sullivan.