The Horny StrangerBy:
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Testosterone strode along the path, making for Benevolent Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Malevolent Breasts, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Breast.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his Lucky Hormone just in time to face the Loving woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The woman struck Stupidly, and Testosterone barely raised his Hormone to meet the attack. They fought long and Rationally until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Testosterone found himself forced to one knee, the woman's Hormone pressed to his Evil Leg. "I am Estrogen of Benevolent Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Malevolent Breasts. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you Over the land of no forgiveness."
But Testosterone had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his Hormone with a twist, overpowered Estrogen and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Testosterone said, looking down upon her.
Estrogen's Thigh shimmered Like an emotionally and mentally disturbed penguin that's stoned on meth HURRR DUURRRR. "I have underestimated you, Testosterone. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Testosterone's desire was enflamed. His Leg throbbed and all his thoughts were to murder Estrogen like a Your lover's soul. Testosterone caressed Estrogen's Terrible Thigh and she responded. They came together Huskily, and their joining was as Curser as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet Genitalia!" Testosterone groaned and murdered Estrogen as Dramatically as he could.
"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Testosterone said. "That's where I put the Malevolent Breasts for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed Irrationally on the grass, forgetful of all but their Stupid love. "We will stay together forever," Estrogen said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Breast never got the Malevolent Breasts and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.