I Saw Bottle Kissing Santa ClauseBy:
I Saw Bottle Kissing Santa Claus
Water woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one Cold box that looked like a Blood.
Then Water noticed that Bottle was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Water thought that he would surprise Bottle. Maybe even sneak up behind him and Scare him on his Deadly Forearm. That always made Bottle Intoxicating.
Water crept Murderously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its Peaceful lights, and the presents, heaped up Lovingly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Bottle. Kissing someone.
Water was so angry, he picked up a Box from a table and threw it Sexily Over a barrel.
They both looked around.
"Bottle, you Watery Unicorn!" Water yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Water looked and then rubbed his Gludeus Maximus and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Bottle said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a Hot kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Water said Manically. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be Frightening."
That seemed reasonable. Water went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, Like a crab-cake that gave you food-poisoning because the chef secretly hated you WUT BRO?. He made Water's Scrotum feel all Clear.
"You see?" Bottle said Dreamily and Water saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.