This is Rachel.
I'm not perfect:
I'm sarcastic and loud when I'm not annoyingly quiet;
I keep to myself and never hang out with anyone one weekends;
I spend most my time watching TV and drawing and trying to think about anything eles than my acually life which i have tried to drown several times in my movie watching obsession;
I'm usually there but you don't see;
Really i sit at the edge of every conversation hoping for an entry way that will never open;
I don't like the things most kid my age do;
I don't have anything to talk about them with;
I hate myspace and facebook both of which i tried but never got anywhere in;
I've given up on most of my friends;
I never became fully comfortable with inviteing people to hang out or spend the night;
I'm terrible with phone;
I have a cell phone i never use;
I realize how emo this all sounds;
I know most people wont read this;
I had one friends, one very small friend who i put first and who i thought would put me first. She was the only one i could talk on the phone with. The only one who i was comfortable inviteing to my house. She was the only one i thought i could express my self to. She was the one that it didn't matter how little i could see her, and it didn't matter that she rarely invited me over. And even though it hurt when i called and she had someone eles over i could put it aside. She was my best friend. My one true friend. No one could replace her.
But it wasn't the same for her.
My friend is gone.
My friend has moved and i can't see her.
My friend calls other people, but not me.
She worries about other but obviously not me.
I really miss my friend.
More than anyone can know.
Because for 7 years, she was my friend.
For 7 years she was my only friend.
For 7 years she was my best friend.
I'm not a perfect person.
And now I'm just a alone.
By the way
MY favorite person on Gaia is shortcutt. My own little Reece. Lil'Rachael.
Blood, tears, pains and fears
Keep me close to you
and if these tings were ever gone
I don't know what i'd do.....