About
LIVEJOURNAL | TUMBLR |
Why, hello, hello, you seem to have stumbled upon my humble abode. Sit down, sit down, you look tired. Would you like something to eat? Cheese? Sandwich? The remains of a zombie I just slaughtered in my background? How about a drink, you want a drink? I got tea, chocolate milk, milk, juice, turkey blood. Coffee? You want coffee? THE COFFEE ISN'T FOR YOU! 
Now sit down, shut-up and pay attention. QUIT FIDDLING WITH YOUR FINGERS! And stop staring at me with those big, sparkly eyes of yours. That's better.
Inter-Dimensional traveling Pirate
Stealing your booty, ever since multi-cellular life evolved. She's unapologetically rude, greedy and a narcissist all around. If you do something, chances are she can do it better. What's that? You totaled your car by accidentally hitting a streetlight-pole? Well, she'll disintegrate hers and take out an entire street in the process, including that ugly mailbox at the end of the block everybody appears to be complaining about. And that's just when she's sober. Give this elf enough liquid courage and she'll take on a hydra, blind-drunk (Which, coincidentally, was how she lost her eye in the first place. But hey, that's why we got a spare, right?)
