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Ven Loraine Report | 02/03/2012 5:10 am

Lazy butt :c

Ven Loraine Report | 02/03/2012 4:49 am

A bit homesick, a bit bored and a bit excited for my holidays in the Aussie outback.

Why are you bored? That means you don't work hard enough. xd

Ven Loraine Report | 02/01/2012 5:22 am

Hey, how are you? ;w;

Vice Admiral Alexi Stukov Report | 01/24/2012 6:10 pm

Why do I keep looking back to the past...I always keep finding you!

Mameoyashi Report | 01/14/2012 1:22 pm

Ah it's an old hockey injury. Long story short I was cross-checked in the back, the stick went between my chest pads and hockey pants, I tripped on the other player's skates, she tripped on my falling body and fell full force on top of my with the stick pretty much on my bare back (there was my jersey but it's just flimsy material, not protection). Damaged the disc between the L4 and L5 segments of my spine, limiting movement and causing the disc to bulge to press on my spinal column and drying the disc out so it's like an old lady's (and yes, this is the short version, haha).

Pure hedonism is believing that the only thing that is inherently good is pleasure. So if it's not pleasurable (ex: hard work isn't normally seen as pleasurable) then it's not good and should be avoided. My version is similar, except I also strive to find the pleasure in everything. I guess living with the chronic pain and frustrations long enough made me come to the realization that my life is always going to be full of suffering. I can either wallow in feeling shitty, or I can try to find the silver linings. Granted, the more pleasure something gives as far as I'm concerned the better (as long as it does not harm others, of course wink ), but even in the worst of scenarios I hope to find some shred of good. Even if the only thing I can come away with is a new experience and understanding of something, that pursuit of knowledge and experience is still, in a way, pleasurable because it helps me understand and grow as a person.

That isn't to say I'm like Hedonismbot on Futurama, lounging around with my grapes and giggling at everything XD I break down, I cry, I scream, I despair. But afterwards I dig up the good from it and try to carry the good forward and leave the bad as a memory.

I wouldn't mind a email penpal :3 I RP but not often and mostly just tabletop systems in face-to-face circumstances. I haven't actually RPed at any length or with any confidence since the old Island of Dr. Moreau shop in the B/C shut down. Though I certainly at least consider RP invites as they come in occasionally. :3

Also captcha: "never give up" Now I don't know if the captcha is psychic and knew what we'd be talking about... or if it's trying to Rick Roll me.... hmm.

Mameoyashi Report | 01/14/2012 12:19 pm

Holy ******** that is a terrifying ;o;

But yeah, I remember there being a long standing conflict between you and someone else. Don't remember who anymore but don't particularly care too much (as in... I stay out of that kind of business way, not that I don't wish the conflict was resolved more amicably). Yeah I've noticed some people treating you really shittily based on that aspect alone. I just don't get it, it's really not a big ******** deal and really it's no one else's business anyway. I guess one of the few things I'm intolerant of is intolerance itself, I just can't wrap my head around most of it.

Life for me is kinda crazy. Don't know how much you pay attention to my ramblings in the forums but you know back injury from six years ago is getting worse, doctors can't seem to do s**t about it, crazy clingy conservative family and just recently decided that the side effects of the medication I'm on to help the nerve pain are worse than the nerve pain itself... and I only found out *after* getting on it that getting off of this medication people have related it pretty closely to trying to kick meth and heroin... it being my first full day on 0mg (thus first day off after having tapered) is kind of ******** me up right now. So I really apologize for the rambling incoherency or if I seem a little all over the place. That or take a long time to reply. I know I'm usually rambly and wordy... but not this bad XD

But otherwise life is actually pretty good. I have pretty awesome people in my life and realistically I am doing fairly well off all things considered (with my partner our household with lots of debt and only one income is above the poverty line, which is more than a lot of single-income families with a dependent can say). And I've slowly been coming to terms with the fact that I may be a bit of a hedonist, loving everything in life for the experience. Honestly even as ******** up and terrible as I'm feeling right now I know I'm going to look back and be glad I had the experience at least). While I may not think that pleasure is the *only* intrinsic good my perspective has certainly shifted to the point where pleasure is the focal point of life. Even finding ways to take pleasure in shitty situations (for example, I'm very ******** up but the sensations are very interesting and I am having a bit of fun coming up with accurate but elaborate metaphors and similes). I think it's close enough, but not quite there. XD

But like I said. Aside from my blood relatives I am surrounded by good people and despite health issues my life circumstances aren't too too bad.

I think that's the long and the short of how life is.... mostly the long of it though o.o

Mameoyashi Report | 01/14/2012 11:53 am

Well to be fair I think we've both been around this place for a few years and both have regularly visited the LD and LI, as well as briefly shared attendance in a guild or two. If I didn't remember I'd kind of count myself as a little insensitive. To be fair I've always just thought of you as a guy and unless the subject is brought up or I think about it enough I will remember the transtastic-ness, but otherwise yer just another dude. But I do tend to remember info of people that I've known at least in passing for years @.@

Also the captcha for this post is awesome. "I'm sorry Dave"

Mameoyashi Report | 01/14/2012 11:47 am

Yeah it was the art in the signature that was very Q-esque too. But I honestly don't visit profiles at all so I didn't really think to even look there for comparison (or admission of being another accounts mule or what have you). X3 Ah well!

Mameoyashi Report | 01/14/2012 11:41 am

I *thought* it was you XD I'm like... so who do I know who is online a lot and in the military and of FtM persuasion. Hm. Q? Eh. Maybe...? *squinting through head fog* or was Q non-military.... who else do I know who is military... It was an amusing thought process at least. I wasn't just preparing to find your account and stalk and read through your posts until I either ruled you out or confirmed my suspicion. ninja Nope.

O M A K E L A D Y Report | 01/10/2012 5:45 pm

Commenting you, since mail seems to be an issue.

I am afraid I can no longer commit time to your art piece, due to sudden real life financial problems.

I am so sorry for inconveniencing you this way, and wish things didn't play out the way they did.