» O ρ є и ~ J σ υ я и α ℓ

❥ Welp, schools starting next week. Should start being productive and actually do something.

» O9/16/14

❥ While others have been going to school, all I've been doing is getting on the computer and sleeping at 4 in the morning. s**t, I must need help.

» O9/O6/14

❥ Late night sleeps and then headaches in the morning. Holy ******** this is great!

» O8/24/14

❥ And this is why you will never be a ******** parent in my eyes. You will never be someone who I can rely on. You will never be someone who I care about. Don't tell me that if this s**t doesn't happen I'm going to suffer. I never said no, but I never said yes either. You never understand s**t. You never let me think.

» O8/15/14

❥ These past few days days I haven't really been talking to anyone. I like it this way. To just be alone and think about good things and feel calm and not have to worry about so much things. On the other hand, I have slight feeling of happiness. A warm feeling in my heart that I wish could stay, but I know sooner or later I have to let it go.

» O8/O3/14

❥ Don't tell me all I care about is the computer when that's all you ******** do everyday too. Yea, I'm stupid ok, lets leave it at that. Yea, I don't care either. Sorry I don't want to talk to any of you. I don't even ******** want to live here anymore. Leave me the ******** alone. ******** off if you don't understand.
And just so you don't know. Talking to ******** strangers on the internet is way better than talking to any of you. To make this more simple for you, family sucks.

» O7/31/14

❥ I guess in the end people just end up forgetting about the good things you did for them.

» O7/25/14

❥ Because the people that deserve to live another day are the ones that end up having to die.

» O7/18/14

❥ You think you know how I feel? You think you know how I think? Well guess what. You don't. You don't know s**t about how this affects me, you don't know what I think when s**t like this happens in our family. If you really knew how I felt you, wouldn't have bothered saying those words. Don't tell me how I don't ******** care about feelings because I always have, you just never saw it. You think I'm happy living through this mess? No, of course not. I know we are one dysfunctional family. Maybe this means we should just get some family therapy. Sorry this s**t had to happy on your birthday. Sorry, but this time I am not taking the blame for s**t that I didn't do. I did not decide to make people feel like that. No one has asked me how I ever felt. I'm apparently just there for everyone to take there anger out on. I'm just there for people to yell and scream at because once again it is my fault when our family breaks.

» O7/16/14

❥ Stop acting like a b***h and stop talking s**t. If you don't like what I'm doing, then don't ******** look. Last time I checked, ignoring someone is more than easy.

» O7/12/14

❥ Yay, sleeping problems. But I guess it's ok since it's summer right now. No one needs sleep.

» O7/O8/14

❥ So much s**t that's disappointing.

» O7/O5/14

❥ I should go, but I don't want to because of her. Then again, if I tell you guys that you wouldn't care. You guys don't care if I go or not either. It's fine, I'll just stay home, find the movie, and watch it byself because ******** socializing. I hate people.

» O6/18/14

❥ No school today. Kinda sad kinda happy. I don't know what to feel. I should be happy because of exams and not having to face you, but at the same time it's not fair for any of us. But even if there was school I'd probably just ditch it. I always run away from things anyways because I'm scared.

» O6/16/14

❥ It's friday the 13th and today is complicated as hell. I found out about things I should have found out about earlier. I looked like a fool while every single person I hung out with knew. I probably even failed my mandarin test but whatever. Today sucks s**t and now I finally know that my friends will keep secrets from me. Plus, people will give you a shiton of side stories to make things even more confusing.

» O6/13/14

❥ People say things change. Of course they do. We can't do anything about it. Time moves forwards and so do we. We can look back at our past or plan a better future. It's all up to us to decide. On the other hand, I don't regret my past at all because at one point I knew I was happy. I knew I was around those who loved me and I knew that someone like them existed in this world we live on today.

» O6/O7/14

❥ Late night movies by myself on a day off of school is just great. Should do that more often.

» O6/O6/14

❥ When you lose a friends, it's real.
Lol @ dat damn common sense.

» O5/27/14

❥ Someone just ******** shoot me. People are irritating as ******** hell. ******** this, ******** that just ******** />
» O5/24/14

❥ Can I just cry right now please.

» O5/21/14

❥ Long and tiring day. It was great though. Took a day off of school for volunteering. Hung out with some friends. Took selfies together with my best friend. It was pree hilarious. Got a sunburn on my face, but I'd say it was worth all the fun. Today overall was just a enjoyable day, with the sun too.

» O5/16/14

❥ Shits complicated. I don't understand. I don't want to make it seem like I'm choosing sides. You guys are both my best friends and its just hard. I hope we can figure this out together though.

» O5/14/14

❥ I think today ended really well. Dinner with the family for mother's day and then a mcflurry. Even though this week will be stressful and difficult, I'm sure I'll be able to make it through.

» O5/11/14

❥ All I can say is I'm tired and I want to sleep the days away. I don't want to do anything. I'm worn out. I know things are gonna get complicated.

» O5/O9/14

❥ Lol, I'm exhausted with your s**t and everything. It's annoying, irritating and yea just go away.

» O5/O5/14

❥ Was sick for like the last 4 days. Skipped a day of school and I'm behind now but whatever I'll catch up eventually. For some reason I feel more happier than I was before, but now I don't I feel the same, I feel sad again. I don't know why. Maybe I'm suppose to stay sad. Maybe I'm not suppose to keep looking. Maybe I should just stop.

» O4/3O/14

❥ Apparently it's time for me to get a job. I'm not ready at all. I can barely focus on school so getting a job will just be worse. Plus I hate talking to people and ugh just no. Not yet. No. No. No.

» O4/25/14

❥ I just want to cry right now. I want tears to come rolling down my face. I'm just so tired and everything. I know whats gonna happen soon and its totally gonna make me feel more stressed. I just need a break.

» O4/23/14

❥ I don't remember laughing that much for a really long time. I think today is great.

» O4/22/14

❥ This is what always happens when we try to make plans with each other. Someone can't go, the timing is bad, a last minute 'I can't go, I have busy things to do.' I just want us all to hang out and have fun.

» O4/17/14

❥ I've decided I just need a break from that place. Hopefully someone can keep me here though.

» O4/15/14

❥ I'd appreciate it if you'd just shut up. Ha.

» O4/12/14

❥ So ******** sick of it all. The same thing happening. The same decision you make. The same mistake you make. You, yourself even know it's the wrong thing. You know it's going to hurt me. I can't tell if you even care anymore. We don't talk much, but guess what? I still think about you. I still care. I always have.

» O4/1O/14

❥ I'm just a negative person in general,
or a pile of negativity. You decide.

» O4/O9/14

❥ I can't help but read this over and over. The love is to deep. I just hope that one day someone will treat me like that too. Just kidding, I'm dreaming to much.

» O4/O4/14

❥ This is one big dysfunctional world.
I think it's best if we all just died.

» O3/25/14

❥ I am a mess. I big mess indeed. I'm like a tornado. Making big disasters. And everyone hates me.

» O3/15/14

❥ Feeling sick being tossed around, feeling sick getting my feelings played with, feeling sick with the constant lies, feeling sick of being the weak person and seriously feeling done with it.

» O3/11/14

❥ All I know is this ******** week is gonna be stressful and I'm just totally screwed. Yup. ******** my life.

» O3/O4/14

❥ I don't know why I'm starting to cry. I think it's because I don't like the feeling of this. I don't want this to happen. I know how it's gonna be like. That's the shitty part of everything for me. But then again what isn't? Nothing has been going well for me. I hate everything. I hate everyone. People don't care about what I have to say. People don't care if I'm here or not. People don't care about me. I miss getting the love and affection from people I love. I miss talking to my best friends. I miss her. I miss them. I'm just so sad. I always feel lonely no matter if someone is beside me.

» O2/27/14

❥ You know how I always say I'm done? Well, I'm saying it again because I am. I think I give up on absolutely everything. Apparently things seem to always end up being my fault anyways.

» O2/24/14

❥ I know I've become a rude b***h, but if you had to go through what I had to go through I don't even ******** think you would have survived. This world is more complicated than you think it is. There are cold hearted people for a reason.

» O2/18/14

❥ This is the worst thing ever. I can't seem to stop crying. I can't seem to breathe. It's like I'm out of air. I'm just so sad and angry. I just can't.

» O2/15/14

❥ I should have known that you yourself would have given up on me. I should have known that no one in this world is going to have faith in me.

» O2/1O/14

❥ Why is everything so depressing for me. Mel what is wrong with you. Stop. Well no s**t Valentines is coming yo what do u think huh.

» O2/O4/14

❥ I want to b***h at everyone right now for being so ******** dumb, ignorant and annoying.

» O1/31/14

❥ I want to call you out so ******** bad. You never shut up about yourself. You are an attention whore. All you care about is yourself pretty much. Stop trying to act like you are a nice person because I know you aren't. You lie all the time, you manipulate people and you will never ******** stop or shut the hell up.

» O1/3O/14

❥ I'm so tired of drowning but I can barely even breathe when I get to the surface.

» O1/27/14

❥ Of course nothing was ******** done about that.

» O1/26/14

❥ I remember more bad memories in my life because there were never enough good ones.

» O1/25/14

❥ School is stressing me out. I am pretty sure I am behind and just ******** it can I quit?

» O1/17/14

❥ “I remember crying over you and I don’t mean a couple of tears and I’m blue. I’m talking about collapsing and screaming at the moon.”
— The Avett Brothers

» O1/O6/14

❥ When will god give me a ******** break. I'm so done with my life already and I feel like all I want to do is kill myself. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to go through this pain. All I want is to feel happy again..

» O1/O2/14

❥ Honestly, all I ask is for this year to be a better year than last year. All I want is something great to happen. I'm not gonna ask for any big favors, but please just give me a chance to feel happy again.

» O1/O1/14

❥ R.I.P

» 12/31/13

❥ Yea, I should just shut the ******** up and not say anything at all because whatever I say is always not good enough and it's just going to kill me.

» 12/26/13

❥ I hate being treated like a piece of s**t. You're my ******** dad, you're suppose to care for me, but obviously you don't give a s**t if I'm dead or alive.

» 12/7/13

❥ And you know my darkest secrets.
If it makes you feel better,
it always comes back to haunt me.

» 12/21/13

❥ You never really knew me never ever
Never ever saw me, saw me like they did
You never really loved me never really
Never really loved me, loved me like they did

» 12/1/13

❥ You think you know everything. You think you know that whatever decision you make for me means I'm gonna be happy. No I ******** won't You don't care about my opinion. No one does. It always has to go your way because you said so. I always go back to that one day where you should have been gone forever and I wish that it came true because you are ruining my ******** life. With you here I need to face all those shitty things to say about me everyday. I cried for an hour because of you. I hate going through this. You are the worst dad anyone could ******** have.

» 11/22/13

❥ I swear to god things would be way better if you had just ******** left us. All you do is put me down and say how shitty of a person I am.

» 11/17/13

❥ I know I'm unwanted. No one wants me to be here. It's probably better if I just ******** leave.

» 11/15/13

❥ Sorry, I'm not the daughter you wanted me to be. Sorry, the only thing I ******** do is make people unhappy right? I'm nothing to you. All you do to me is make me feel like s**t with the things you say. Maybe if I was gone everything would be better. No one wants me anyway.

» 11/13/13

❥ I am so sick of drowning in these sad feelings. I'm so sick of feeling like this. I just want to see light at the end of this dark road, but it seems like this dark road that I'm going through isn't ever going to end any time soon.

» 11/12/13

❥ Feelings kill so much. ugh. ********. I don't know.

» 11/11/13

❥ Thanks so ******** much for being a piece of s**t. I guess crying wasn't enough for you to feel good about right? Oh wait, you didn't even give a ******** because of a devil you are. Don't blame the s**t on me when pretty much I've done my part already. You're sorry ? LOL wow you are terrible at lying. Maybe you should go learn how to. You are such a ******** ignorant b***h. It's always about you.

» 11/O1/13

❥ That moment I actually thought I would have been somewhere else. Not on this world, but maybe in heaven or hell. I don't know if I would have stepped out of the way. I felt like I would have just stood there because I'd finally want this nightmare to be over. That I'm just sick and tired of these stormy days and I want them gone.

» 1O/24/13

❥ Hi, I'm Mel and I don't have a bestfriend because I'm always going to be second choice anyways.

» 1O/19/13

❥ People judge you when you aren't good enough and even if you are good enough, one mistake and you're still judged. Sorry, I'm not ******** good enough for you and that I'll never be.

» 1O/18/13

❥ I'm trying to be there more for others because I know I'll never be there for myself.

» 1O/17/13

❥ That was ******** horrible. I never want to go through that again. You guys make me feel even more shitty. I just want to leave and never come back. I just want to get out of here.

» 1O/12/13

❥ What did I do to make you act this way to me? I even asked you if you're mad at me. You just act like I'm invisible and you don't even ******** know how horrible it feels to see a friend do that to someone.

» 1O/11/13

❥ I just feel like theirs so much on my shoulders. I can't breathe. There's all this stress coming at me that I can't handle. I don't know what to do.

» 1O/1O/13

❥ I don't think I've ever laughed that much and felt that great in awhile. Thank you so much for today.

» 1O/O9/13

❥ Why is school so ******** depressing ? I honestly don't know how longer I can keep up with everything. It's getting hard and harder everyday.

» 1O/O7/13

❥ It's easy for you. Sorry it's not for me.

» 1O/O6/13

❥ I need light. I need a way out of this darkness. I just hope there will be something on the other end that will make me finally happy.

» 1O/O3/13

❥ Everyday theirs going to be that someone that decided to come along and ******** up my day. Thank you very much. Especially since my life is already s**t.

» 1O/O3/13

❥ I don't know how many times I've cried the past few days. People don't ******** understand.

» O9/28/13

❥ You guys are the best brothers ever. All you do is make me feel like s**t and make me go through things I don't want to go through. It's always my fault isn't it ? I get blamed for all the s**t because it's apparently my ******** fault for everything that goes wrong. I ******** hate you guys. You don't understand s**t at all. There is no such thing as family. ******** s**t.

» O9/27/13

❥ I'm done with people lying. Holy ******** is it really that hard. So stress with school and everything too.

» O9/14/13

❥ I honestly think that the computer has just made me become more and more depressed.

» O9/14/13

❥ I actually ended up crying today because of all the stress that was building up inside of me. With all the people that actually didn't bother to help me. I wanted to cry more, but then again if I did people would pretend they would give a ******** and take advantage of me. Are you serious you don't even ******** care. Stop acting like you do.

» O9/13/13

❥ Well, I just felt disappointed and all. I hate myself. Now you probably think of me as a really shitty person. Sucks that I make too much mistakes that my life has turned into one lool.

» O9/12/13

❥ Lol, I have the best dad in the whole world. He doesn't support me at all. He bitches at me like almost everyday for the dumbest reasons ever. God ******** dam I've had enough s**t in my life already. Thanks so much for making it even worst right.

» O9/O2/13

❥ I was honestly so ******** close to crying again. You act like you didn't talk s**t about me and my problems. You don't know anything.

» O9/O1/13

❥ Can't stop crying. That's how ******** bad everything is right now. Someone save me.

» O8/24/13

❥ Lol, I seriously don't know what to believe anymore. I can't tell what's a lie and what's not. Seems like all the ones thrown at me broke me into pieces. I don't know who or what to ******** believe.

» O8/15/13

❥ To those that have left me. Don't even ******** come back because you've made my life miserable enough with these flashbacks and memories. I actually cared about you guys. I just have one question though. How could you do it? How can you just leave without saying anything and pretend it's ok? It hurts so much knowing how you can get replaced in just a second.

» O8/O7/13

❥ I'm willing to be there for anyone, but if all they care about is someone specific then ******** no. I'm not gonna waste my time on you.

» O7/O9/13

❥ I seriously don't know what family is anymore. Looks like mine has fallen apart or just doesn't give a s**t about anyone else but themselves. They don't even understand the s**t that I go through and I need to put up with all this crap that they are saying to me. I don't want their ******** bullshit anymore. No one understands what I'm going through. Yea, my problems may not be their problems but there still problems and I don't want to have to ******** worry about them anymore. I must be a ******** tool or something to people. Stop stepping all over me.

» O7/O6/13

❥ I'm not good enough. Stop telling me I am because I know I'm not. People tell me this all the time, but they're only saying it because they don't want to hurt me. It still hurts knowing that lying is the only way they can keep me happy. Stop with the ******** lies. I'm done with them.

» O7/O4/13

❥ What ******** hurts is knowing I did my best
and it was still not good enough for you.

» O6/28/13

❥ Lol, you think you're all that because you have people defending your stupid a**. You act like your not the one being a negative piece of s**t but you are. b***h ******** please, don't try to put s**t on me. Yea, I'm a rude s**t I already know that. Aren't you one too though ? Funny how you think your better than me because your not. No one is ******** better than anyone. Just shut the ******** up already.

» O6/15/13

❥ Yea I get it. I'm a ******** up. A screw up. I ******** suck. I'm horrible. I already get that s**t. Just stfu already you rude judgmental b***h. I could care less. Just go away. Leave me alone. Today has already been horrible. I already feel like I'm an option to people. I'm never ******** good enough am I ? It's nice to know when your already insecure enough.

» O5/31/13

❥ We all feel like we're not good enough.
We just want to be accepted for who we are.

» O4/27/13

❥ You are the dumbest s**t ever. ******** god I wish you never even stayed with us. It would be so much better without you. You're an annoying piece of s**t. You think you know everything about me, but you don't. You say I'm getting unhappy and more bitchy. Well of course, you are ******** horrible. ******** you dad. Maybe I would be more happy if you didn't keep telling me s**t, and maybe if you'd stop putting more stress on me. Out of the two of them you don't do anything but yell at me. I'm always the one in trouble for no s**t. I'd already have shoot all of you with a gun if I had one. You guys suck. Mom is the only one I care about. She may be grumpy and angry at me at times but there are reasons for that. I hate you guys so much. Just leave me alone. Stop annoying the s**t out of me. Maybe if you guys listened to me more and stopped calling me a dumbass. You ruin my day, everyday. It's you that ******** it up. It's you that makes me angry. Don't blame your s**t because of mom. You yell at her and make her unhappy. No wonder shes so sad at times.
I am so ******** done with all of your bullshit.

» O4/12/13

❥ And you've got your demons and
darling they all look like me.

» O3/09/13

❥ Wishing we would grow up. I regret saying that. Why? Because all my bright angels have turned into evil devils.

» O3/07/13

❥ I was not ******** born to
please people. Sorry about that.

» O3/O2/13

❥ And everything you wished for. And
everything you hoped for. And everything
you dreamed of. Fell apart.

» O2/20/13

❥ I don't even know anymore. So fed up with everything. So tired with everything. So done with everyone.

» O2/18/13

❥ LOL, this is why I don't ******** need anyone. I'll make it through on my own without looking back.

» O2/O6/13

❥ Hi, me, Linda and Inty are the best. Ya'll are dumbos who don't fit with our coolness. Baii ~ I Love you Bbycakes.

» O1/3O/13

❥ There's two places. Reality and Fantasy. You can either keep on dreaming or face the truth.

» O1/20/13

❥ What happened to this world that I lived in ? Where everything was so beautiful to my eyes. Where there was no fear and only happiness. Where there was no hatred but love. Where every friend I had would always be by my side. Those memories I had won't go away. I can't even stand acting like everything's okay. It's not and I know it isn't. I can't even trust or rely on anyone. Not even myself because every feeling in me comes back to haunt me.

» O1/15/13

❥ I don't even know how I wake up every morning to even look at your face anymore.

» O1/11/13

❥ Your so ******** bitchy, how do people even stand you ? People who talk s**t about you are just describing your attitude.

» O1/O7/13

❥ Omg, school tomorrow. Sucks. Other than that Despicable Me was a great movie.

» O1/O6/13

❥ Our human society is ******** up really bad. Of course no one can fix that because were all dumb idiots.

» O1/O5/13

❥ I don't have friends. There's nothing like that because those that were there for you will eventually leave you.

» O1/O4/13

❥ Oh look its 2O13. Lets just hope this
s**t is better than the last one.

» O1/O1/13

❥ I don't even know anymore. Why do I keep on falling in the same trap over and over ? I can't even trust myself.

» 12/28/12

❥ Don't feel so happy about Christmas. One wish santa : Bring Leah back to me for just 1 second.

» 12/24/12

❥ No one cares Mel. No one does. No one at all. Stop trying.

» 12/22/12

❥ We're sailing on the same boat, and before you know it, the one that lets you on is the one that pushes you off.

» 12/2O/12

❥ You worry about me too much. Can't I have some freedom ? You always make my decisions. ******** you.

» 12/19/12

❥ Always treasure your memories. They won't ever change even if people do. ~~Missing Leah since forever.

» 12/18/12

❥ I'm that kind of person who keeps quiet, then finally bitches about it all out.

» 12/16/12

❥ Barely been on the past few days.
Sick and trying to finish a 5OO piece puzzle~

» 12/14/12

❥ Dear Mom,
I Love You,
A Lot.
Sincerely, Me ♥

» 12/12/12

❥ I hate everyone. I feel so irritated.
This ******** society will never change.

» 12/11/12

❥ Tbh, I have no idea what to write here anymore. Everyday is the same.

» 12/10/12

❥ Oh s**t, forgot about this for 2 days. Doing dance for p.e and its ******** awkward. I was saying "fml" the whole time.

» 12/6/12

❥ Why the ******** do I keep trying when you don't even care ? Why am I wasting my time ?

» 12/4/12

❥ Time is really a scary thing. You don't
know what will happen each second.

» 12/3/12

❥ Lol, I'm so addicted to asian drama. Pretty much the only thing that's good about my day.

» 12/2/12

❥ I hate when people correct me on things
that don't need to be corrected on.

» 12/1/12

❥ I've changed so much past the few years. Barely anybody knows me anymore, not even myself.

» 11/3O/12

❥ Nobody said I was easy.
Nobody said I couldn't be who I am.

» 11/29/12

❥ Not really much to write about. Just stay strong, be you and laugh at those who put you down.

» 11/28/12

❥ I'm not rude or mean. I just speak my mind. If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure ain't getting my best.

» 11/27/12

❥ There's still so much that people don't know about me. I'm holding to much secrets back.

» 11/26/12

❥ Oh, people who assume s**t about me. They just make me laugh. No, I'm not always mad.

» 11/25/12

❥ Why do people always get on my nerves? Obviously it's because they can't use there ******** brain.

11/24/12 «

❥ I don't care anymore. I always did, but you didn't give one ********. Why should I still care?

11/23/12 «

❥ Wow really? I've always been there for you and you don't even have the urge to call me your bestfriend.

11/22/12 «




Hi, I'm Mel and
I have misanthrope.
I think, I speak
Therefore, I exist.
I don't trust
anyone at all.
Call it a curse.
♥ ;

We Heart It
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Been hurt enough.


Dear Leah,
I miss you. After all this time.
I actually couldn't forget you.
I've cried so many times. Why do I ?
You gave me so much to remember.
You and the others were so special
to me. You guys always made my day.
I just couldn't wait to come home
and get on to see you guys.

I miss us. All of us. Forever.
Sincerely, Me.

Credits go to the artist who drew the characters