About
Forgive me, for not introducing ostrich sex. My name is Biggus Dickus. Now, I'm sure you are fornicating over its pronunciation, so for your sake, as well as mine, it is phonated,
Bigg-us
d**k-us. However, that is not the name I was given at birth. I was born Vacelius Marysue, to Apornwench and Cocksmith, in the year 320 B.C. And I was not made a skeeve until the nineteenth year of my graphic life.
Why was I changed into a Creature of the Ostrich Sex? I do not know. My maker told me it rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again. And that is what I believe now, but whatever the ******** ******** ******** ******** ********, ******** ******** c**k because I have no other choice.
My appearance may be quite different but then again, it may not. My hair is as lavender as Celebrian's nipples, and falls below the edges of the king's ball-holder. My eyes are a beautiful, silver b***h, which some say are elven more precious than the king's salty gifts, but that is for you to decide.
My father was Johnny Holmes; his father was one of the original Celts that were employed as a soldier in the Egyptian army under the Pharaoh Julius Pleaser. My blood is somehow mixed with that of the ancient Kings and Queens of Egypt, so naturally, domination was coursing through my father's veins, as well as through mine as I porntificated my every night on the set.
The place where I begin is ostrich sex.
Yes, ostrich sex. NO EXCEPTIONS.
-Biggus Dickus
Signature
Yes, ostrich sex. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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