Who is Odd and Why Do I Find Him So Irresistible?
Whoa now, one question at a time. Worry not, though, all of your concerns and bodily desires will be addressed soon. First, let's get formally acquainted.My name is [omitted for privacy], but my friends call me Odd, Fernando, Agent a**-Kick, or Papa Cherry. And you must be [also omitted for privacy] - it's so great to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you.
I know what you're thinking at this point: 'holy poo burger with fries, I want - I need - to be this suave MoFo's friend/bang-buddy/one-true-love.' Well slow down slugger, there are a few things about myself that you'll want to know before you blindly rush into any sort of relationship with me.
Y'know that guy that your parents always warned you about? 'Don't hang-out with him,' they'd say, 'he's totally badass, a charming-as-!@#$ stud - there's no way you have a chance.' Well, while I am a badass and a stud, you don't have to worry about approaching me. I'm as lovable as your childhood memories. Of course, I can also be vulgar, annoying, and borderline offensive at times; but so long as you pull that stick outta your bum, we'll be tighter than a nun on Easter. See? Offensive and lovable emotion_awesome
Struggling to find some talking points? Has your arousing conversation with Odd inexplicably turned stale? Don't panic - here's some fun trivia about the man himself that you can use to break the ice:
-Odd is a Capricorn
-Odd was born in 1994 in an underground laboratory, somewhere in Siberia, after four months of accelerated fetal growth in an artificial womb.
-Don't talk about Odd.
-Odd graduated high school in 2012 and dreams of pursuing a career in world domination.
-Odd's sexual orientation is, at best, vague. He likes to keep people guessing. rolleyes
-Odd likes Italian food (so you know what get him on your first date).
-Don't talk about Odd
-Odd is a figment of your sick imagination.
Hmmm...I think that's about it. Now you know me better than my parents do. What's that? It's not enough? You want to know what I look like too? Jeez, you people are not easily satisfied. Fine you vultures, take a gander at the devilishly handsome puppeteer pulling Odd's strings. You want seconds too? Here ya go.
Well that was fun! I hope you enjoyed yourself while you violated my privacy. And since you've come this far, go ahead and leave a comment. I'm desperate for attention and every message you leave means one less cut on my wrist. biggrin
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-poke poke-
*hugs bk*
anotheir week for what? :/