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[[For all you... just... GR8 idiots out there who will either read it all and NOT get it... or read part of it, go self righteous, and decide to go all holier than thou art.... this is from a popular manga called "GTO"... and if it took THIS note to make you realize its a comedic stance... well, no, i think ive been mean enoguh]]
Hello, my name is Onizuka Eikichi and I'm a temporary teacher at Holy Forest Academy in the Kichijoji area of Tokyo... and i want to talk to you about a very serious subject. Kids come up to me all the time and say, "Hey, Mr. Onizuka, man you look so cool smoking like that, leaning up against the fence, your thick blonde hair blwoing in the wind in that devastatingly handsome way that only movie stars enjoy. If I start smoking, can I look that cool too?" Well, kids, I just want to tell you that the answer to that question is... absolutely. Under the right conditions, of course. But... absolutely, if you take up smoking you can look as cool as I do. However, the conditions... like my shoes... are somewhat tough to fill. First off, to look really cool smoking, you gotta be able to light your cigarette in a cool way. With your feet, nose, upper lip, underwater. And fast. If your cig ain't lit within like two seconds. you might as well put it away and wait a little bit. I'd teach it in my classroom, but that might really get me fired... and I'm already in enough hot water as it is. Secondly, to look really cool smoking, you gotta breathe smoke out your nose, which could be very difficult for many of my wimpy students who suffer from severe allegry attacks. Which brings me to the third condition, you gotta be buff so that when the cancer sets in, it has to eat through strong, sinewy muscles, which we all know taste like crap. That's about it. /But if you can manage it, nothign looks cooler than leaning back, holding a cigarette and waiting for the babes to come. And if you wait long enough, they'll come. Trust you me. They'll come. Any minutes now. Yeah. Any minute.
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