Oh yes, definitely better to be able to see them live, but I also can't ignore the fact a band put out a bad album. That's why I don't listen to Korn as much as I used to.
And yes, there are some good songs by Scarling, although it's much mellower than joj and she barely screams. The only songs I can think of with her screaming are this one & this other one.
I was actually browsing music videos yesterday, and I did come across Butcher Babies. It was not so good imo, too many screams that sound forced and musically it was nothing too original. I can see why your ex would say that, but trust me, joj is infinite times better. But you could look them up and decide for yourself (: