About

So my screenname is a story, if you want to hear it, keep reading, if you don't, well I can promise you are missing out. Maybe you aren't missing anything good, but that's a matter of opinion. I'm beginning to pull myself out of a really dark place. I've been diagnsed with a whole bunch of shite. It started out as panic disorder, that lead to anxiety and depression and OCD. At times, I'm almost bipolar. I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar disorder so, no, I don't have it. Basically I've spent enough time feeling sorry for myself and I'm starting to do somethign about it.

I'm smart, my IQ is 170-something. I say that because people think smart peopel don't have problems, in many cases we have more problems. The world doesn't work the way we feel it should and we become cynical assholes and I guess in my quest not to become an unfeeling p***k, I;ve become somewhat of a over feeling stupid. I'm sure there are better words for that last secrion.

If you've never experienced a panic attack, just know it isn't a fate I would wish on anyone. I;ve taken meds to prevent them, but it just made me numb and again, i don;t want to become an unfeeling p***k. There were so many times I felt I could just close my eyes and let my mind fly off into a a void of infinite insanity. I've cried hysterically and scratched myself saying that life just isn't worth the fight. I've refused boyfriends because I don't have a right to bring them into my crap and that I know I couldn't possibly handle a break up.

But enough with the drama, I'm putting it all away, turning the page but not closing the book. I'm mostly okay now. Every once in a while, I lose it a bit but I force myself to hold on and it helps if I can be there for someone else. Feel free to talk to me I promise I'm not as depressing as I might sound