I'm a cranky, depressive, pessimistic jerk - not that you'll probably notice, since I also have an inferiority complex and generally try to be as nice as possible so people won't hurt me.
I have two dogs, both of which are absolutely worthless. One is elderly, almost toothless, and stinky. The other is young, fat, and really stupid. I love them anyway.
I used to have a cat until he started cheating on me with the neighbors. Now he's their cat - but he still comes back to eat our dog food. Little monster.
The city started putting flouride and other chemical crap into the water, so I can't keep fish any more. I really miss my betta fish, they were awesome.