One time I rushed across to the room that had a toilet. It was go time. The dogs wanted out and I was ready to bark for them. I quickly slammed my pants down. OH NO. I forgot I needed to be in front of the toilet before I did this. I tripped and fell. My turd came out but only the tip. With sneaky cunning muscle control I sucked it back up. s**t. I knew I was in a bad situation. I crawled like a human skin shaped worm. Grabbing the toilet like it was my mother I sat on its mouth. I knew this would be it. I opened the flood gates to mordor and did they cry. They cried so hard I had to shut my mouth and pray that when I stood tall it wouldn't unleash the hell on the world. Sweet sweet hell.
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