We all know there is evil in the world.
In history, we are haunted with evil acts of man; and still, we fight to restrain evil.
Out of all the evil that we’ve managed to contain, to hold back, there is one evil that we have not stopped. One evil that is still processing, still growing- still feeding. Every day we come across this evil and we do nothing about it.
This evil is known as lemons.
(If you want to know more, click the spoiler v)
You must think I’m crazy- lemons, really?
What would a delicate defenseless fruit have to do with evil? What time in history were lemons ever used or seen as evil?
It is not history that makes lemons truly evil, it is what lemons do now that make them evil.
The historical meaning of lemons goes from being just a fruit to being a symbol of baby Jesus. However, just like the terms gay, a**, and some other third thing, the term for lemons has changed significantly as history progressed. Now, lemon is just another word for: failure, junk, reject, flop, sexual fan-story, a bad car, or a bad event in life.
A lemon that was once a pure term- pure enough to be a symbol of baby Jesus, was pushed to become something that is simply unacceptable.
But it is not just the slang usage of lemons that makes them evil. Lemons also mask everyday evil.
Upon the cleaning of your house, the use of trusted lemon scented products are commonly used, and used everywhere. Whether it’s your kitchen counters, to your bathroom toilet, lemon cleaners can be used in a vast amount of places. The smell gives us comfort- but the truth is we are only hurting ourselves.
In Clorox, Fantastik, Formula 409, Mr. Clean, and s**c and Span have a harmful compound known as ethanolamine. Ethanolamine, according to Britannica Encyclopedia, is a compound known to agitate asthma and gives off an ammonia-like smell. When we use these products we don’t smell ammonia, we smell the “fresh lemon” scent. Because of that, people will over use the product exposing themselves to ethanolamine more and they’re raising the risks of those with asthma to have an asthma attack.
If a lemon is meant to be good, why would it help mask the bad? What good thing would help the bad go unnoticed?
If that hasn’t pushed you to notice just how evil lemons are, think about this: too much good can lead to bad.
“Can” is the key word there. Yes, lemons could just remain the way they are now and be a bit harmful here and there, but they could also be changed to the extremes- becoming something we can’t control. Why wait till that happens? If we continue to trust the kindness of the lemon to overpower its evil, we will only suffer, just like Herman Mudgett’s victims. Herman Mudgett, also known as H. H. Holmes, used sweet words and confidence to sway his victims. He pretended he was a good- no, great man and convinced them to stay over at his house… then he’d kill them. Although Herman Mudgett was documented to have been very unusual from the beginning, the fact that he was able to put on this mask of “good” enough “good” to convince many women to engage to him and convince his “close friends” to put his name as the benefactor on their insurance, is kind of troubling. According to Scott P. Johnson, in his book “Trials of the Century,” Holmes used the “face of a good man” to collect his victims. Although lemons can’t talk, yet , lemons can still convince some they’re good- they’re doing it now. Being chemically proven as a disinfectant, lemons use this as a reason to be trusted.
Out of everything I’ve used to prove my point, the most alarming fact is that since I’ve researched the harmful and evil doings that lemons participate in daily, I’ve come across lemons more and more. As matter of fact, the day I started writing my first speech about lemons, there was a lemon outside of Priestly… and I’m not the only person who was affected by this, others have noticed a change with lemons.
According to Grandma Watson, a professional grandmother and the leader of the Watson family, in our interview on November 26, 2013, Lemons seemed to have followed her since she realized they were the mask for evil. She proceeded to say:
“That grocery store down the end of the street never had lemons- till now. Dollar General used to have that cheap toy smell, now its lemon. Damn, if you just open my fridge, you smell lemon and I’ve never put one in there!”
Later on in our discussion, I asked her if lemons changed, other than following her, from when she was younger till now. She said…
“The difference between lemons then and now is evil. The world has become evil therefore things in the world became evil- and it just so happens that lemons were greatly affected. You know, just breaking apart the word “evil” can mean lemons. ‘Cause of you take the “e” out of “evil” you get vile, which is what lemons really are, they’re vile. You take the “v” from “vile” and you get “ill” which is what you will become if you keep trusting lemons. You take the “i” from “ill” and you get “L” which can’t mean a darn tootin' thing other than “lemon”.”
Now lemons are harming us slowly, but it may not be like this in the future. I hope through my discussion that you’ve learned how truly evil lemons are and that you will start to ease away from the need of lemons. If everyone takes a step away from lemons every once in a while, then lemons will lose their grip they have on us.
Here’s to hoping lemons won’t make the world go sour.
On a different note, I've decided that I am not a human. I am simply too weird.
Oh, and short people aren't human either, they're too small. I now call weird people and short people humanoids. Just like Pluto is called a planitoid because its weird and is too small. So, later humanoids! ;D
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- Pearl Williams.
"Duct-tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together