Just some information about myself.

Who are you? (Who who? Who who?)

Mathew is in fact my real first name preferred male name.

I am 23 years old and I stand at 5'2".

My hobbies are drawing, crafting, cooking, and video games.

I have 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 3 cockatiels, 3 cats, and a single mom.

I live in a small town.

I'm currently brainstorming for the novel code-named The Monster Within.

I am...

- Irish, Italian, and Lebanese
- The middle child
- Interested in men
- Really a female, but wants the ability to change into a male and back (gender queer?)
- An otaku
- Melancholic
- A competitive Pokemon player, armed with EV and IV knowledge
- A cat lover
- A surviving bully victim
- A big nerd
- Comedic
- A foodie
- Open-minded
- Very forgetful
- A Diaper Lover


Food: I love cheese, pasta, and rice. I also really love meat and I hope to try lamb, rabbit, duck, goose, deer, buffalo, mammoth (if we bring them back in my lifetime), octopus, squid, lobster, and some more fish someday.

Games: Nintendo ftw with Pokemon, Mii games like Wii Party, and Super Smash as my mains. My favorite non-Nintendo games are Team Fortress 2, Primal Carnage Extinction, and The Sims 3. Games with good custom character shenanigans like the Saints Row series? Also in my collection.

Art styles: I love cartoon styles that are colorful and not scary. I also love vectors and creative crossovers.

My future: I have many ideas about what I want to be; Which are character designer, cartoon-ology (It's a real job!), baker, graphic designer, writer, food critic, or a general chef. However, I fear that most of my choices are dependent on how others perceive my work and that hasn't been so good lately... I want to pick a job that is the most practical and won't lead to a starving artist future.

3DS: 4296-3490-4648

Created word games:

The AAY is a cashier at Walmart
The AAY lets you borrow something of their\'s
Give teh AAY an award
Tektek the AAY as a Mary Sue
React to the AAY with a video clip
The AAY is a Dakimakura
Guess the ABY\'s Favorite Word Game
Post Something that Makes the AAY Smile
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Metaforically describe the AAY
You Encounter a Frog
What\'s the AAY\'s Lullaby?
You Aww, you lose
The AAY is an Assist Trophy
Doodle ro Die: WG Edition
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Give TNP an Art Meme

Art made by others

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Lake Kindred:



Fox Boy

Shadow the Hedgehog

Luke the Espeon

White Werewolf


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Shadow Belmonte Report | 10/22/2016 2:43 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Ugh, redneck towns, how I never could get along in them. gonk
That's like trying to talk to someone about paleontology and the Rennaisance works of art when everyone's thinking about bonfires and muddy trucks.
I feel sorry for your situation. x-x'

It is good that you do want to live, you should stick to that!
But I don't think life really works out like that, trying to make your life be fulfilling to make up for the past.
It's like trying to drive away from your problems when your problems are still in the back seat of your car.
I know my own past was crappy, I know it'll never be fixed, but I don't care about trying to fill up what I feel I missed out on, because I know thinking that way won't help me get anywhere.
I missed out on friends, I missed out on family, I missed out on fun - while it's sad to think about, all this because of one person, I decided to just go live my life without even caring about the jerks.
10/10 times I'd rather be talking to people on Gaia (such as you) and just having fun without thinking that I deserve it, or that I must do so because I missed out on it, but because I would like to.
There was some kind of famous old quote saying that when a person makes decisions without feeling tied down being the best decisions to make, but I can't remember it.

Well, I am an outsider if I am outside of the building, right? *ba dum tsss* *gets booed off stage* But I thought it was funny emotion_0A0

Nah, harem pants are an entirely different category altogether, and those are hilarious. lol
Elephant pants: http://www.jenkemmag.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/jncoheader1080.png Wide legged, very long.
Harem pants: https://harempants.imgix.net/s/files/1/0754/0497/collections/harempants-hill-tribe-pants-1_grande.jpg?v=1471869303&q=50 Wide at thighs, tightened up at the calves / ankles.
And these are the Oxford Bags I mentioned:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fa/1e/56/fa1e567f638a71c154990b106978ca43.jpg High waisted, wide leg.
Shadow Belmonte Report | 10/22/2016 6:18 am
Shadow Belmonte
Yeah, you should tell your manager how you feel if you don't agree with something - the manager might think 'Oh, you're doing this so well and not complaining, maybe I should give you more, because you seem up to the challenge' when you're thinking to yourself, 'This is too much, I can't handle this,' and then no one but you will know that you are frustrated internally until one day you might accidentally snap at another coworker who probably won't even expect it.
Telling a manager you need help shouldn't make you feel bad - everyone needs help, no shame in asking, even I tell my bosses and coworkers when I'm feeling incapable of doing something, so that way it avoids different negative outcomes: I don't make a failed effort, no one's time is wasted, someone who isn't busy can have something to do instead while I am busy, and someone who is clearly capable can provide the right assistance.

Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist, it is their job to help people - many people, so you shouldn't feel ashamed.
I've met several people in real life who either had / currently have therapists for different reasons, but these are all good people, and I don't see them as anyone less than equal to me, but as friends / friendly people.
Having something such as depression makes you human, but being able to admit that you have it makes you courageous.
If someone makes fun of you for that, I will kick their butt. emotion_donotwant

(I forget, where did you say you lived?) So forgetful, I swear. x-x'
Jobs are easy to find here, because so many teens are supported by their parents; they just walk in, work one day, and then leave, which is silly because they cry about how they need a job desperately and how they're so broke because mom and dad won't support them. talk2hand
Only the people who work at my workplace are the people who don't have parents to support them.

Yes, I am trying to re-create my 90's elephant pants, but make them a bit like the historic Oxford Bag pants.
Since they're so outdated, the patterns are not available in the stores, so I'm trying to create them as I go.
It was going to be considered my first attempt (to see how well I do) and if it turns out okay, I'll make it my Halloween costume.
If it does turn out good, I'll keep my notes as-is and try another store, to buy better fabric (currently: thin polyester, ack.)
If not, then tweaking and testing will have to do.
Shadow Belmonte Report | 10/21/2016 1:48 pm
Shadow Belmonte
I'd like to quit work sometimes, but then I just continue working there, so it's a moot point from me.

Whoever told you that there was only one job in the whole world, and that if you quit, there'd never be another job anywhere else?
What you could do though would be to look at other jobs, apply to them, and when one of them agrees to hire you, ditch the one for the other.

Maybe you could cheer up a bit by looking at Treadmill Fail videos on YouTube or 'My body is ready' gifs on Google?
(I'm an easy person to cheer up, laughing at others' misfortunes and silly anime gifs.)
Isn't there some kind of saying that the future is unpredictable?
I'm not concerned much about my future, whatever happens, happens.
If my work burned down to the ground tonight because another store left their Christmas lights on, I'd be like, "Well, time for another job."

How good it is to have employment centers in your town.
Ours has one, but I didn't need to go there to get my job - I basically got hired by word of mouth.
Manager was in my mom's work, and she said they were needing to hire people, so my mom said, "I got a daughter," and the woman said, "Then make an appointment," so I just showed up, had my interview, and got the job.
I was hired because they needed a maintenance person, the one before me had quit when the original store owner was out on medical leave; ironically, I would come in during the early morning hours and clean the store, and then one day a coworker said, "Man, I'd really like to thank that maintenance man for doing a good job!" and I said, "Well, thanks, but I'm not a man."
The look on her face was funny, and she was all, "YOU'RE the maintenance person?"
The reason why was because an old poster was in the breakroom with some of the employees, and the maintenance man's was still up on the wall but not my picture.
So yeah, at one time, I guess I could say, ' I'm the man'. lol
But now I do everything else in the store - hanging clothes, running freight, whatever is asked of me.
(And sorry for wandering off with this topic.)

I'm being scatter-brained.
I am trying to figure out how to make a pattern so I can try to make a pair of pants.
God dang it is hard to figure out how to make a sewing pattern for a pair of pants. emotion_donotwant
Also I've seemed to have somehow messed up my screen size so I'm fidgeting with my Ctrl + / Ctrl - keys.
Shadow Belmonte Report | 10/21/2016 1:09 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Why would you do such a thing to yourself?
You shouldn't be trying to kill yourself!
Yes, go to the hospital so they can take care of you! gonk
As my friend here on Gaia, you're still a person with feelings and value, so I don't want you hurting yourself, or worse! emo
Shadow Belmonte Report | 10/21/2016 12:41 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Need help with something?
SCP-1337-J Report | 10/16/2016 1:38 am
May bob guide you into the void and beyond, comrade.
SCP-1337-J Report | 10/15/2016 10:45 am
You can start by joinging my guild!

SCP-1337-J Report | 10/15/2016 12:50 am
All I know of BOB is from scriptures salvaged from the scraps of knowledge left behind from the wrecks of BOB's sleepers, millennia old. Because of this, many gifts of bob are uncertain.
One gift I am sure of is that when one gives his all to bob and purges himself in the holy darkness of the void, he will be accepted unto it and be reborn as an angel. -The book of Rob, 4;20
That was the last information on the disk that was not corrupted beyond recovery. I did pick up on a small scrap of information, though. "We shall ride eternal, shiny and chrome." I remain unsure of this disk's relation to BOB.
SCP-1337-J Report | 10/15/2016 12:32 am
All are worthy to be servants of BOB, but when BOB spoke to me in my dreams last night he said:
"Get me some acolytes you c**t."
I figured my small circle of gaia friends would be a great place to start.
SCP-1337-J Report | 10/15/2016 12:09 am
I assure you, Mathew, that this is no mere meme.
You must take BOB as your holy and unwavering savior or face eternal damnation.
Walk into the void and BOB will guide you.


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