Just some information about myself.

Who are you? (Who who? Who who?)

Mathew is in fact my real first name preferred male name.

I am 23 years old and I stand at 5'2".

My hobbies are drawing, crafting, cooking, and video games.

I have 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 3 cockatiels, 3 cats, and a single mom.

I live in a small town.

I'm currently brainstorming for the novel code-named The Monster Within.

I am...

- Irish, Italian, and Lebanese
- The middle child
- Interested in men
- Really a female, but wants the ability to change into a male and back (gender queer?)
- An otaku
- Melancholic
- A competitive Pokemon player, armed with EV and IV knowledge
- A cat lover
- A surviving bully victim
- A big nerd
- Comedic
- A foodie
- Open-minded
- Very forgetful
- A Diaper Lover
- May have ADHD or ADD


Food: I love cheese, pasta, and rice. I also really love meat and I hope to try lamb, rabbit, duck, goose, deer, buffalo, mammoth (if we bring them back in my lifetime), octopus, squid, lobster, and some more fish someday.

Games: Nintendo ftw with Pokemon, Mii games like Wii Party, and Super Smash as my mains. My favorite non-Nintendo games are Team Fortress 2, Primal Carnage Extinction, and The Sims 3. Games with good custom character shenanigans like the Saints Row series? Also in my collection.

Art styles: I love cartoon styles that are colorful and not scary. I also love vectors and creative crossovers.

My future: I have many ideas about what I want to be; Which are character designer, cartoon-ology (It's a real job!), baker, graphic designer, writer, food critic, or a general chef. However, I fear that most of my choices are dependent on how others perceive my work and that hasn't been so good lately... I want to pick a job that is the most practical and won't lead to a starving artist future.

3DS: 4296-3490-4648

Created word games:

The AAY is a cashier at Walmart
The AAY lets you borrow something of their's
Give teh AAY an award
Tektek the AAY as a Mary Sue
React to the AAY with a video clip
The AAY is a Dakimakura
Guess the ABY's Favorite Word Game
Post Something that Makes the AAY Smile
What does the AAY say?
Metaforically describe the AAY
You Encounter a Frog
What's the AAY's Lullaby?
You Aww, you lose
The AAY is an Assist Trophy
Doodle ro Die: WG Edition
Comment and Rate the AYY's Profile Song
Give TNP an Art Meme

Art made by others

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Lake Kindred:

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Fox Boy
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Shadow the Hedgehog
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Luke the Espeon
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White Werewolf
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Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/21/2017 6:07 am
Shadow Belmonte
I've had bosses who intentionally ignored their employees' requests and needs, and not surprisingly, gave us the same farm-treatment as you mentioned.
They were sort of nice, but... could have been lots better, in my opinion. sweatdrop
A few of the coworkers I had to deal with were bullies, though, so I understand your feeling - I've been picked on for being single, for not having children, for spending money, for not being married, for my questionable sexual preferences, for my taste in clothing, for my hobbies - whatever there was in life, because those twats led miserable lives but were too much of the self-loving hypocrite type to point the finger at their own lives.
We do have one guy at my work, who has a few disorders, but... he terribly milks everything, and I believe this is why people tend to 'look down' on others for their disabilities, conditions, what have you.
He's called off work because 'he leaned on his arm for too long and had to use a sling,' he hit his knee on a piece of furniture and came to work with a cane, he had the sniffles, he was unable to use the bathroom, he had vertigo 'all of a sudden,' and more - and because he has these disorders, his doctors approve of everything, so this guy - he can be at work one day, and then take a month or two off work, whatever the doctor gives him.
So I don't consider it really as you as being the problem, but... the abusers who give a helping hand a bad name.
I agree though, that phrase to 'toughen up' is saying, 'okay, I'm open to all forms of abuse' because it's so outdated.
In the past, people had to 'toughen up' because abuse was present on all fronts - physical, mental, drug and alcohol; but there was hardly any, if any, services to prevent these, and if there were, hardly anyone was helped - kids were 'being kids,' women were unable to speak out against their husbands or be shamed, all that.
These days, there are services to help people with abuse of so many kinds, but to 'toughen up' means to dismiss all forms of help and pretend that nothing ever happens and backslide to the past's poor treatment of people.
I know how you feel about feeling ignored and left out at work; it's happened to me as well.
Also so you know, you got me as a friend! emotion_kirakira
And I love to glomp. emotion_dowant *readies... GLOMP!* emotion_awesome
But I can't say that I've been in a suicidal state, actually, I'd prefer to live. @-@
I get held back by myself as well, but... even though I'm afraid sometimes, when I do something that holds me back, I discover that I can beat it.
I was terribly afraid of heights - so was other people at work - but I climbed the ladder, and now - no fear of heights.
And now I forget the other things I 'mastered.' emotion_facepalm
...If only I could master not eating so much... XD

I feel the same way about myself - too smart to be understood, but I don't really want to be dumbed down by others' antics rubbing off onto me.
Silly stuff - can it be contagious? emotion_0A0

Well, if you're an exclusive country club, I feel like I'm some dance club in New York.
Whoever dresses in unusual fashion, has good music taste, and loves to hang out, anything goes. emotion_dealwithit

*Shadow sneaks into the country club after hours and plays with floaties in the pool
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/20/2017 7:06 pm
Shadow Belmonte
At my work, I've had bosses that treated people like nameless numbers, and I've had bosses that treated us like finest gold.
It just depends on who the boss is and - probably most important - how many years they've worked there!
Don't want to sign up for a place that has a jerkoff boss who's been there for 20+ years, because... that boss'll definitely be there longer than you. emotion_0A0

You are right, equilibrium is quite the point to maintain.
I did read this somewhere, and I never realized it, but it is true.
When a person could know every secret about life, the truth of any religion, the truth of any scientific discovery, the truth of everything there ever is and could be - that person will no longer be satisfied; there are no more mysteries, there are no more discoveries, there would only be facts listed in a book, and the motivation could be lost - why create, when the results are already in place, and why believe when it is not what they expect.
Ironically, I do love reading, and reading, and reading.
Studying foreign languages, studying cuisine, studying art, studying history, studying historic peoples and events and religious practices.
But this studying does not affect me; when reading that I was fed pets (so as were other patrons) at a Chinese restaurant, I still frequent Chinese restaurants.
When I read about bugs and animals' excrements being used as flavors and colors in food, I helped myself to more.
I'm not so sure that being entirely logical is toxic; I think it's peoples' abilities to handle it or not.
I know what I'm eating, I eat it anyways.
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/20/2017 5:41 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Yeah, corporation jobs have basically turned into garbage, but...
Things are a lot different from the past and today's time - supply and demand, fickle ever-changing tastes, social cliques and celeb-following trends, whatnot.
Businesses want super-productive people at an unreasonable level, but in my opinion, most people just don't care about their jobs anymore.
Such as this incident at my work today: One girl was fired up that she tried to get a coordinator position, but was denied it - and the girl that got the position, both does not do her job, and constantly calls off work; today, she was a no-call, no-show, but - because she's a bff of a hard-working girl who is a suck-up to the boss - that girl both got the position handed to her and has kept that position.
The other girl is an actual hard worker, a single mother of two, who also has to juggle a second job - because the coordinator position she wanted, offered better money that she wanted.
Yet the girl with coordinator position can post on Facebook about going out for drinking parties, because that's a higher priority.
And also - my work took hours (hours that could have gone to its current employees,) to hire new people - not one of them showed up, and the only person who still managed to arrange an interview, called a few hours later and said that they couldn't make it because they were late, so no doubt - that person won't get the job.
When people can't show up to do their job, it puts pressure on other people, but it's more than just a couple people affected; it's many people.

That's an interesting phrase.
I only knew of a show called Diff'rent Strokes, but never watched it. lol

My ideas don't come from dreams, they come from observation, MacGyver stunts, and test-runs. XD
Inventions may have been a dream, but they were brought to life by the idea that they could become reality instead of remaining a dream.
I wouldn't really call the people who dissed the Wright Bros as logical... they were fearful, small-minded, and afraid of 'bad luck.'
(Though the Wrights weren't the first people to fly, they were just more famous by their inventions and attempts.)
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/20/2017 4:38 am
Shadow Belmonte
What explains things?
Different strokes?

It just sounds like your mom is the 'dreamer' type.
I am the type who prefers realistic thinking, since dreams don't solve things. sweatdrop

Speaking of dreamers vs realistic imaginings - me and my mom are like that!
She's a dreamer - and it's actually a Pisces trait.
So she'll be like, "I wish that everyone could stop fighting for a day, just all over the world."
My comment: "As long as two people disagree anywhere on earth, no one will get along. Not gonna happen."
Guess I'm a dream-basher. sweatdrop
I'm an Aquarius - instead of a dreamer, I am a thinker. emotion_0A0
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/19/2017 4:19 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Eh, people don't even follow the laws that already exist. XD
But the corps are military-based, not civilian-based; they train for tough things.

An extra hour of sleep for me does not equal a nicer mood.
I'd probably not get along with your mom, and she'd probably not get along with me. sweatdrop
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/19/2017 3:08 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Sleep is taken out of consideration because of many factors.
Person A: "I'm so dedicated to my job, I will drink 40 energy drinks each day! Sleep? Who needs it!"
Person B: "That guy is so dedicated to his job, that I'm going to have to drink 50 energy drinks so I can one-up him and make a good name for myself! I want to be promoted!"
Person C: "Too many people want too much of this product, so someone has to maintain all of these machines. 500 machines each day? It's a job no one wants! No sleep for me, but I keep the job going."
Boss: "You're all hard-working and amazing. But, statistics show that your competitors are doing better... we need better... I can't sleep until we all get better at our jobs, or we'll lose big business."
Competition: "My company is doing great! We hire people who refuse to sleep! The less sleep you get, the better! Now that we've established our ability, let's take it up a notch. Who wants to lose more sleep?"
That's only a tiny percentage that I'll just come up with, but it's still there. sweatdrop

But my reaction to your mom's advice: Wait, what? lol

War's a difference of beliefs - religion, identity, whatever.
Besides that, there's history lessons that kinda point the other way.
Native Americans would go on 'vision quests' and said they were shown how to defeat their enemies, and they did. sweatdrop
It might not be sleeping for the 'vision quests', but dreams can still point out things that the brain is saying, 'look, you missed an opportunity, now let me give you crazy ideas.'
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/19/2017 2:35 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Yeah, so sucky.
If only it were that simple, to wish oneself to sleep, and the brain was like, "Dude I agree, let's ditch this joint." lol
Nightmares aren't fun, anxiety preventing sleep isn't fun.
Not sleeping right is no fun.
Stressing sucks.
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/19/2017 1:34 pm
Shadow Belmonte
I'm not really a night owl, I try to save that for the weekends, but usually I'm just like, 'Eh, whatever, bedtime.' XD

I have sleeping problems as well, so just to get enough sleep is rather difficult.
Constantly waking up at any hour for any reason (a noise, room temperature, moving around to sleep in a different position) but the worst of it is nightmares.
I have uncontrollable, entirely realistic nightmares pretty close to every night, so yeah, fun times. neutral
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/19/2017 1:20 pm
Shadow Belmonte
I'm a morning person, I tend to wake up early, even without alarm clocks.
No way I could sleep until afternoon. emotion_0A0
Shadow Belmonte Report | 02/19/2017 12:41 pm
Shadow Belmonte
Your morning is my 3:40 in the afternoon. eek

Though I'm as sluggish as someone who just got out of bed five minutes ago. XD


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