just a reminder.
For those of you reading this, this is Jaycie. Megan doesn't get on gaia very much anymore due to her internet problems. I'm sure we all miss her, but just keep in mind that one day, she will return ! and by the way, nobody misses her more than I do, because she is my mersister and my best friend, and i will always be more important than any of you reading this. <3 don't believe me, then ask her yourself, and she'll tell you straight up.
Open your eyes I see
Your eyes are open
Wear no disguise for me
Come into the open
When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame
Always, I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony,
harmony oh love
Melting the ice for me
Jump into the ocean
Hold back the tide I see
Your love in motion
When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame
so um... jaycie was here.
yeahh... watch out.
or i'll sick jeffery on you.
( ★ ) A B O U T
why, hullo thar. :3
meh name is megan... or just maemae, captian planet, megachu, poppy, megachu, hello kitty, bleaker, pikachu. whichever, i could care less.
i'm one of those california girls
i'm a rambunctious sophmore
my hobbies include talking to jaycie <3 (yeah. YYEEAAAHHH.), going to disneyland, traveling, roleplaying, not sleeping, laughing, making a complete fool of myself -- and not caring, singing in the shower to miley cyrus, dancing fast to slow songs, playing music, collecting hello kitty, pink objects!
my jam of the week/day/hour is welcome to mystery by the plain white tees
i'm skilled at modeling, writing, performing arts, drawing, therapy skills, music
i'm not perfect, and i have M.D.D, G.A.D, O.C.D
some famous friends of mine include mark -- artist, lance -- artist, writer, and movie maker ;; and LITTLE MISS JAYCIE ! Amazing at everything.
my guilty habbits/pleasures are roleplaying, melted m&m's, lady gaga, rainbows, the soup, gaia, being messy, being jealous, writting amazingly awesome songsss, being cooler than you ( lol! ), voting no on prop eight, raving, kandi, candy, hello kitty
my addictions? lol they're roleplaying, chocolate, boots, raves, hello kitty, the color pink, kandi, JAYCIE !!!
now it's time to be serious. i wouldn't have made it through this past year without the help of jaycie and jeffery.
i love you guys. thank you for everything.
oh, well you're very welcome my loooove. xD <3
( ★ ) send the s a i l b o a t s
a d d ii c t e d ;;
my past addictions are tough to talk about. they ranged from drinking too much chocolate milk to drinking too much rum. my life was difficult growing up, and my parents trusted me -- apparently too much. they let me go off wherever with my friends, and whenever. they didn't know -- and didn't inquire to -- what i did. another addiction i've conquered is self harm. and trust me, it was tough battle.
g u ii l t y ;;
my guilty pleasure?! jeffery the butterfly !! he'll sick his powers on you, ya'll.
( ★ ) patch of d a i s e s
s t r a n g e ;;
so, since the wonderful god above has blessed me with obbsessive compulsive disorder, i have some pretty strange habbits. in the morning, i have to shower right after i wake up. not a second before or a second after. then after that, i can't brush my hair until i've eaten, brushed my teeth, gotten dressed, and put my things together. then, after i brush, i put on my shoes. i can't wear shoes inside a house. it bothers me so much! i also have to check myself in the mirror exactly three times. i don't have the ocd that makes you always want to clean, but when if i start cleaning, there's no way i'll stop until everything is perfect. i have my standards!
( ★ ) back in the harsh w i n t e r
w.e.l.c.o.m.e ( to ) m y s t e r y ;;
i was born into the world on june twenty fourth at twelve thirty in the am. crying, cold, and covered in gunk, i was laid onto a blue paper-covered table, and cleaned. i was then handed to my mother, who smiled. i was to be her first -- and last -- born child. little did she know that i would bring on a stress that was equal to twenty children. my mother and father were in for the ride of their life.
when i was young, i had many near-death experiances. at age five, a bowling ball was dropped on my head. at age nine, i almost drown. then again at age eleven. though i've never broken a bone, i've been pretty banged up.
bullied my whole elementary school life, in third grade i finally convinced my mom to let me switch schools. when i was accepted to the f.a.m.e program, i was excited to learn that my best friend was going to the same school the next year. so i knew now i wouldn't be alone. when school started, i finally made friends, and was happy.
when i went on a cruise about a few years ago -- the end of fifth grade -- i met jaycie, and we became mersisters. ( wanna know how it happened ? ask either of us. iiAlbinoLion. 'nuff said. )
when middle school started, all the problems began. don't they always? i teetered from the top of the list to the bottom, then slowly crawled back up again. i went everywhere from boys to girls to drugs and alchohol to depression and self harm. i cleaned myself up, quit everything, and focused on school. i'm very proud to say i graduated with flying colors.
though -- in that time -- i had began a new thing. therapy. it helped me so much you wouldn't believe. my therpist ( anna ) helped me pick up and clean my life from what it used to be -- a gutter. now i was back on track, focused, on medication, doing everything i could to keep the M.D.D at bay... though my dosage was constantly raised, all the way past 125 mg, i was doing better.
i think that's when i started writing. i would get these passionate emotions building up inside, then i would just let them out through my words. and -- no matter my previous emotion -- i would always feel better afterwords. i would show my mom, and she would somewhat understand what i was feeling.
i also auditioned for a high class performing arts high school. and was accepted. i'm hoping that -- even though i'm going in alone -- i'll come out alive at the end. i just think that if you don't try, you can't fail. and like they said in the haunted mansion movie, "you try, you fail, you try, you fail... but the only time you really fail is when you stop trying."
and that's what me and my little disfunctional family of four live on.
the summer was fine, all the classic things. until i discovered that, to my horror, the love of my life was moving. i was so afraid. i knew we would separate gradually. i could tell, because it was how she was. so we tried making the best of our time as we could -- we spent every day together. my world was nothing but her. maybe that`s where i screwed up.
i was so busy with her that i forgot how to live as my own person. she and i had always been a thing, even before we were a thing. we were always together. but my mother found out about us, and again, things got rocky. we pieced everything back to the way it was, our last few months having been soiled because of my selfishness.
after she left, i learned some of the hardest news a teenager could hear. one of my dear friends, whom i loved very much, had hung herself. i was beside myself. i didn`t eat or drink or sleep...i was just...there. To make matters worse, that monday (two days after i found out) i started high school. so i had to start with the death of a friend on my mind.
eventually, i grieved and life moved on for me. i made some friends, lost some friends, and gained some more friends. but, things were starting to look badly for me. my medication -- my 125 mg zolof -- had stopped working. i was depressed. flat. lifeless. i didn`t eat or sleep....so i was switched to prozac 20 mg.
in order to switch we had to decrease my zolof and up my prozac. the entire process took three weeks. and they were the worst three weeks of my life.
at first things were normal...then the zolof dosess decreased lower and lower... i got more and more depressed...i started cutting again, sleeping all day, not caring about anything...i would cry at anything and everything that depressed me. i would yell. scream. throw things. hurt people. it was then i began wondering.
so, this is the beast inside me?
eventually, the horror was over by the middle of the third week, when all i had was 20 mg prozac. the depressed feeling lingered, as if waiting for it`s next chance to strike...and it did. it struck my wrist 35 times.
soon, i began talking to my love again. it made me so happy to see her smile, and hear her voice once more. even though she had been abusive to me...i loved her. i loved her so much... so much that i put off all of my own problems, just to wait at her feet.
then, things cracked. the suicide feeling returned -- depression found its escape: her. they`ve been friends as long as i can remember, my love and depression. they go way back to seventh grade. i have recently talked to her. and it shall be my last time.
my sister jaycie took my pain and reminded me of something important: "you love her. that's great. but she is ruining your life. and it`s breaking my heart to see you so broken from this ... this creature, and for her to just not even look back -- not even feel an ounce of guilt -- and most of the time turn it back on you and say it`s your fault. i`m not making you do anything, but i`m tired of seeing you so broken as much as your tired of feeling that way. ... all this stuff -- it`s your past. and you need to let your past go. you can`t let it haunt you forever. ... every moment you are talking to her, is another moment that you are killing yourself inside from the pain. and you can`t let that continue on forever. we talked about remaking your entire life -- look at your profile. all your stuff you crossed off: you beat depression, you're going to take down high school, you realize how beautiful you are, you can be yourself. is she the reason for any of that? No. ... you have to make a choice. and it`s a realy hard choice, but you have to make it. either have her in your life, and forever be brought down by her and her pain -- or let go of her forever and finally rebuild your life without her. ... and i know that it's killing Jeffery as much as it is me to see you like this. He lives on you, and he's apart of you, along with me. And when you hurt from her, we are too. And Jeffery doesn't like it."
so jaycie quite possibly saved my life...and i`m so grateful to have her and jeffery in mine.
c u r r e n t (n)(e)(w)(s) ;;
a poetry book
practicing my magic
( ★ ) sea of l o v e
Burp. Ah, the healthiest way to start a day ! Especially when you wake up at noon everyday like I do ! Anyway, this sure hack is going to be super long because it'll be my last one ! And who better to have the final hack then this here Megan person ? Hmm, any takers ? Anybody ? NO, because you all FAIL. Not many people deserve hacks -- that are actually true ; you know who you are who write hacks and you don't even mean what they say -- but Megan here sure does deserve one ! If you're on her profile, you should know already that she's super amazing, even though my hack is so low .
Continuing on. Many say that my hacks just jump from topic to topic, and are annoying because they are so random. Well, to those people, you can DEAL WITH IT, OR GET THE HELL OFF HER PROFILE. Alrighty, now that that topic of conversation is over with -- CHECK ! -- let us move on to the next discussion. How the world will end ! Many say that the world will end in fire, others in ice. My choice ? BOTH !
Fire will melt ice, and ice will put out fire, thus making it melt. Then water will be everywhere, and only me and Megan will survive because we are mer-sisters, and we have adapted to water, and will swim away and survive. Nobody else but us two . SO BE JEALOUS . We are party fish, AND BESTFRIENDS ! We're like,... a triple threat.
Obviously if you are on her profile, you can see how awesome she is. If you can't, or disagree with that amazingly true statement, then, like I said earlier, GET THE HELL OF HER PROFILE. If you don't like her, what's the point of following her, watching her gaia profile like a hawk ? Creeper. Oh, and for people who do not like her, I have a small shout-out to you. Achem.
Okey, you can have your opinions. Who am I to stop you ? Nobody can be liked by everybody. But it's still really immature to say really rude stuff to/about her JUST because you don't like her. Even if you don't like Megan, that's perfectly fine ! But what's the point of bothering her constantly ? Just leave her alone and move on with your life ! It's honestly not that hard, and you must like something about her if you always talk about her . Just leave her alone, and maybe everybody will stop being so bitter !
Now that we've got a few topics of conversation out of the way, let's move on to the next : Confusion ! What really are you supposed to write in a hack anymore ? They literally all say the same thing. How awesome a person is, how many inside jokes they have, they'll be best friends forever, all that crap. LITERALLY. EVERYBODY SAYS IT. Maybe it's why i don't write hacks anymore. No matter. Anyway, a hack is hard to write for me, because I really like being unique, even though it's not a hack on my profile .
Everybody should already know how awesome Megan is. Just like everybody should know that we're best friends and have been best friends for four years, and all the inside jokes we have. So I really don't want to waste my time talking about them if you should already know ! For those who don't know : Get your head out of your a** and open your eyes ! This is what true friendship is -- maybe you can learn a few things.
When this girl says that she has "issues" don't be a retard and think she's like Freddie from Nightmare on Elm Street. Seriously ? She's not the only one with problems, but Megan's the only one with the balls to admit it. She's getting better and better, so don't think she's all psycho. Yes, I am helping her. Yes, I am trying my best. No, i am not the reason for those problems. If you were Megan's true friend, you would like her for herself, moody, problems, and sometimes rudeness and all.
I know that Megan will be successful in her life. I know she has so much potential and so much in store for her. It should be really obvious, too. Whether she's a singer, actress, play person -- I have no clue what they're called -- writer, or anything, she'll be famous. And soon all you little haters will be crawling at her feet for forgiveness, and you will not get it. Payback's a b***h -- everybody should remember that.
Though we have gotten into fights in the past, we don't now. Sure, we argue, and sure, we get mad at each other and ignore each other. But... doesn't everybody ? (I'm not going to say 'Sister's fight too !' because that line is VERY cliched, and it's obvious that sisters fight. Everybody does.) No perfect friendship has no fights... But also, there is no perfect friendship when you fight a TON of times either. Our friendship is in the middle. We HAVE fought, but we don't fight every other week. We just get mad and stop talking in the ten minutes that we need to cool down.
In the four years that Me and Megan have known each other, we have seen each other three times. Once when we met on a cruise ship -- the beginning -- that lasted about seven days, and two times just recently when I was in California and she visited me. And the best part is, is that I'm the closest to her then somebody who lives in the same city as her ! Amazing, huh ? I think so, just as I'm sure she does too.
Though I know she may say that her life is certainly terrible right now, but I know it's not. She just needs a friend, and a faithful hug. Pfft, why do you think I'm here ? So for all you people who do not know who I am, and don't have even the slightest clue, my name is Jaycie. I am Megan's for real only best friend, I am her psychiatrist, her mer-sister, her Seba, and the rock that holds all her existence on the ground. And yes, there is only one me.
( ★ ) my springtime f l o w e r s
my lovelies (:
o1. deputy galexy is my numero uno. her real name is jaycie (iiAlbinoLion), but i call her deputy galaxy, because i am... captain planet!! she and i have done everything together. from sailing on a boat together for TEN days, to keeping each other sane, to crazy laughing fits and milk out the nose -- we've done it all. me and her are mersisters, and it's for life. you can definitely count on that. <3
o2. brit is my second. she's my cousin, and her real name is britney (w h a t s h e r n a m e x), and she and i want to start a band... it'd doesn't seem like it's going to happen. haha! but we are very close, and she's the closest blood-related family member i have.
o3. kisha is amazing! she (xoxo__ilyrawr) and i met via a group roleplay...then we started talking. now she`s one of my favorite gaia friends! she`s super sweet, and will be a model one day! she`s a steve/jh-darren/cm fan too <333 she`s an amazing roleplayer and i`m glad to know her! :3
o4. evelyn is a sweetheart! she (my poetic death-s-/the poetic soldier) started out as a simple fan...now she`s like my little sister. we have the same issues (well, most of them) and we have each other`s back. i love you, evvy!
( ★ ) a thorned rose in a feild of d a i s e s
☆ω н α т ƨ н ɛ я и α м ɛ☆ σмɢ ɢʋɛƨƨ ωнσ! ιтƨ -ω н α т ƨ н ɛ я и α м ɛ-
ι ƨσ cαит ωαιт 4 тнɛ cσиcɛт!! ιтƨ ɢσииα вɛ ƨʋρɛя! ϰ3
ιℓʋғғʏɛωℓικɛ α ғαттʏ ℓσʌɛƨ Ƭ Ɯ Ɩ И Ƙ Ɩ Є Ƨ!!
мммм тωιиκιɛƨ(: ! :ƉƉ
ι яɛмɛмвɛя тнɛ тιмɛ ωɛ ωнɛяɛ αт ɢяαи∂мαƨ нσʋƨɛ
αи∂ ωнɛи ωɛ ωɛит тσ тнɛ ʓσσ..
αи∂ ωɛ ɢσт тнɛ ραи∂α ƨтʋғтιɛƨ!!
αи∂ ωнɛи ωɛ ƨℓɛρ ιи тнɛ ℓιʌιиɢ яσσσм(:
αи∂ ρʋт ρʋт κɛρт ℓιcκιиɢ ʋƨ!!
∂ʋ∂ɛɛ тнσƨɛ ωнɛяɛ ƨσмɛ ɢσσ∂
м ɛ м σ я ι ɛ ƨ(:
ι αcтʋαℓʏ нαʌɛ ριcтʋяɛƨ ғяσм ιт! вʋт ιт ωαƨ ƨσ ғʋи!
ωɛ ƨнσʋℓ∂ ∂σ ƨσмɛтιиɢ ℓικɛ тнαт αɢαιи ƨσмɛтιмɛ(:
β ˩ α Ħ β ˩ α Ħ β ˩ α Ħ ϰ3
☆ƧƬ. ĴƖммƳ☆ ʏσʋ αяɛ тнɛ вɛƨт cʋƨιи αиʏσиɛ cαи αƨκ ғσя!(:
αи∂ ιм ɢℓα∂ ʏσʋя мʏ cʋƨιи :ƉƉ