The king does not ask...he demands!

King Joffrey Baratheon

King Joffrey Baratheon's avatar

Location: King's landing

Birthday: 05/23

Occupation: King


Things the king likes to do.





My name is Joffrey Baratheon, but you are to refer to me as "Your grace" or deal with my Hound. I am the oldest son and heir of my father King Robert Baratheon and my mother Queen Cersei Lannister. And although this is true, I have been hearing disgusting rumors that my father is really my uncle Jaime Lannister, the queen's brother. (I will see to it that this blasphemy does not spread further.) I have a younger sister, Myrcella, (she is pretty) and a younger brother, Tommen. (So fat and worthless...spending his time with cats...I have seen to it that will happen no longer.) I am the perfect king and mother says so too. So why my people whisper behind my back and call me arrogant, cowardly, spoiled, and sadistic...I do not know. Surely it is not because I beheaded Ned Stark, punish others who deserve it, and order b*****d babies to be slaughtered. But I am sure they will tell me before I place their and families head on pikes too.

Here is My lady Sansa of the traitor house Stark. If it were not for mother insisting I keep her alive and marry her I would have her pretty little head upon a spike beside her father...for all the realm and especially her brother Robert to see. (Hmph, calling himself king...the nerve.)

Sansa often swears her love and loyalty to me, but at times I wonder....all she does is sulk and I can not stand the wailing of women. When her body is ready and when the war has ended I will marry and put a baby in her, until then I will watch her beg on her knees for herself and those she cares for like some commoner...and beat her bloody.

But not her face...I like it pretty.


Lady Sansa is no longer my betrothed, but that will not stop me from entering her chambers, and giving her a Lannister baby while my guards hold her down. Go ahead and scream will only be more exciting for me.

This is my new betrothed Lady Margaery of house Tyrell. I like her...I suppose...I can not mess with her like Sansa, but she is a great ally of my family. She helps the people see me in a different light...

Lady Margaery confuses me, but I have plenty of time to figure out what to do with her. But it is obvious to all that I still prefer Sansa.


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Memoirs of a great king!

Mother insists that I keep a journal.

Praise your king.

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Red Lamb Report | 05/22/2015 1:17 pm
Red Lamb
Dear gosh, your page is amazing.
Bartomeu Report | 05/19/2015 9:38 pm

Oink! *flies around circling above the angered boy king*
Bartomeu Report | 05/19/2015 9:35 pm

*Flies high in to the sky and throws Several Freshly baked flan puddings*
Bartomeu Report | 05/19/2015 8:13 pm
*dodges bolt, proceedes to pelt with stawberries*
Bartomeu Report | 05/07/2015 12:04 am
Oink Oink <3
Ivy Moon-Fox Report | 05/02/2015 4:56 am
Ivy Moon-Fox
love your signature xd
Lady Fhaerin of the blood Report | 04/13/2015 9:27 pm
Lady Fhaerin of the blood
My king.. it's been.... nearly two years since I last truly knew you. The day you presented me with a dress... I remember it so clear. You have gone the way of my elders.. off to where ever spirits go when they leave their bodies. Perhaps you shall return.. perhaps not. But know, my king.. that you ARE missed. you ARE loved.. you STILL have people... a kingdom.. I shall save part of my heart for you just in case your eyes ever open once more..

you loving servant..

Queen Margaery Report | 03/09/2015 5:46 pm
Queen Margaery
My King.. -she curtsies and keeps the position until he tells her to rise-
freelance lover Report | 10/07/2014 6:02 pm
freelance lover
I'm pretty sure when the episode aired my friend immediately screamed DING DONG THE JOFFERY'S DEAD THE LITTLE b***h IS DEAD! (you know, all Wizard of Oz).

But congrats on ranking with Dolores Umbridge in "most hated characters in fiction."
freelance lover Report | 10/07/2014 5:55 pm
freelance lover
I LOL'd so hard when I saw your avi and sig... and then 100% perfect profile. I just finished Storm of Swords so I'm still basking in the death of Joffery again and it was A+, as if you avatar.



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