My Store!!! If You Wanna Go Lower Just Ask!!!
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When life gives you lemons you make grape juice, then you sit there and watch everyone wonder how the hell you did it.
fake friends: Never ask for food. true friends: are the reasons you have no food. fake friends: Call your parents Mr/Mrs true friends: Call your parents DAD/MOM fake friends: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. truefriends: Would sit next to you saying "Damn ... we ******** up ... but that s**t was fun!" fake friends: never seen you cry. true friends: cry with you fake friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. true friends: keep your s**t so long they forget its yours. fake friends: know a few things about you. true friends: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you. fake friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. true friends: Will kick the whole crowds a** that left you. fake friends: Would knock on your front door. true friends: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!" fake friends: Are for a while. true friends: Are for life. fake friends: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. true friends: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "b***h drink the rest of that you know we don't waste s**t." fake friends: will talk s**t to the person who talks s**t about you. true friends: Will knock them the ******** out fake friends: Will read this. true friends: Will steal this, just like I did
My Best Friends
.Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.4. Walk up to an empoyee and say in an offichial tone," 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.5. Go up to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse andsay "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!!!
THESE ARE FUNNY
Talk To ME!!
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sooooo bored!!! nothing to dooo