AboutAmazing, Crazy, and Random Things
*Blondie: T. G. I. F!!! Guy S. H. I. T!! Blondie: T. G. I. F. means thank god it's Friday.... Guy: Sorry honey, it's Thursday.
*"I like your hair." "Thanks, I grew it myself."
*Lose pen=no pen. No pen=no notes. No notes=no study. No study=fail.
Fail=no diploma. No diploma=no work. No work=no money. No money=no food. No food=get skinny. Get skinny=ugly. Ugly=no love. No love=no marriage. No marriage=no kids. No kids=alone. Alone=depression. Depression=get sick. Get sick=death. Lesson: Don't lose your pen, you'll die!
*Dear 6, please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I've heard you and 9 do some pretty nasty stuff. Sincerely, 7.
*Taio Cruz wrote Dynomite, Katy Perry wrote fireworks, and Bruno Mars wrote Grenade. I bet pretty soon Ke$ha is going to write about nuclear bombs.
*Hello this is the Mental Hospital.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.
*I was thinking about food (I was thinking about her)
Thinking about meat (Thinking bout me)
Thinking about chicken (Thinking bout us)
What we gonna eat, (What we gonna be)
Open my eyes*
...It was only KFC (It was only just a dream)
*A good conversation is like a miniskirt: short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the subject.
*Sorry Ke$ha, but the party started when I walked in.
*Paper beats rock? Okay, I'll throw a rock at you and you defend yourself with paper.
*Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
*Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
*There's no half singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
*Immature love says, "I love you because I need you. Mature love says, "I need you because I love you.
*Dear teacher, I talk no matter where I am. Moving my seat will not help.
*Excuse me, Sir Gangster, but I believe your trousers are slightly descending.
*He broke her heart. She broke his XBox. Who cried the hardest?
*A p***s has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is and a*****e, his best friend is a p***y, and his owner beats him.
*Behind ever b***h is a man that made her that way.
*Ah, best friends. They know how weird you are and yet the choose to be seen with you in public.
*Trust me, I'd walk through the rain at 3 am just to see you. the only thing stopping me is my parents.
*He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, and swallowed! When he was satisfied, he left me alone. Damn you, mosquito!
*When I see a typo I look at the two keys to see if they are close.
*Ain't no mountain high enough, to keep me from loving you, baby. LOL<JK< have you seen Mount Everest??!!
*You look pretty today!! .....Was I ugly yesterday?
*Water has a taste you just can't explain.
*I am SO good at cooking, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on!!
*I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.
We could have sworn you said that the ark was leaving at 5:00.
Sincerly, The Unicorns
*Oxi Clean commercials just aren't the same without Billy Mays yelling at me. XD
*Did you just call me a b***h??!! Because bitches are female dogs. And dogs bark. And bark comes from trees. And trees are from nature. And nature is beautiful. So did you just call me beautiful? Thanks for the compliment!! XD
*ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
*If you're SO sorry, then why did you do it again?
*Parents call it "talking back." We call it "answering your question.
*Man, the look on a teacher's face when you answer a question and they thought you weren't listening is so funny!
*I wish money would have sex in my wallet and multiply.
*"Are you asleep?" "Not anymore, dumb a**."
*Isn't hard to smile when you get in trouble??!!
*Shhh! They're arguing and I wanna listen!!
*Mommy! Mommy! Mum! Mum! Mom! Mom! Mother! Mother! Ma! Ma! Mama! Mama! WHAT??!!! Hi! Teehee!
*Don't go! I need you in my life! LOL, JK, close the door on your way out. XD
*I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in an awkward silence at something that happened a few days ago....
*The world can't end in 2012! I have waffles that expire in 2013!!!
*I sometimes wish I could record my dreams and watch them again later....
*My dog is a pug. Do you know how frustrating it must be to have to chase a curly tail??!!
*My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
*Lollipop, lollipop. Oh, lolli, lolli, lolli, LOLLIPOP!
*Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now, green meat-that's REALLY bad for you. Xp
*I gotta cute face, chubby waist, thick legs in shape. Crap top, crown face, makes ya do a double take. Everybody party, get outta control. Take your back to the wall 'cuz Mr. Meanie said so. WHAT!
*Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.
*True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere!
*You people are the reason we have middle fingers.
*If flirting were an Olympic sport, I'd have a gold medal!
*Current mood:Crazy. Talk at your own risk.
*If my friends were to jump off a cliff, I wouldn't be jumping with them, but at the bottom to catch them.
*Do vegetarians eat animal crackers??!!
*Life is not the amount of breaths that you take, but of the moments that take your breath away.
*Why do people like Justin Beiber and Taylor Lautner? I mean, it's not like you're gonna marry them.
*FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. TRUE FRIENDS: Are the reasons you have no food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. TRUE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom/Dad. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. TRUE FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying "Damn... we ******** up... but man, that s**t was fun!!" FAKE FRIENDS: Never see you cry. TRUE FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. TRUE FRIENDS: Keep your s**t so long they forget its yours. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. TRUE FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing. TRUE FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's a** that left you. FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. TRUE FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say "I'M HOME!" FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while. TRUE FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. TRUE FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "B***h, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste s**t." FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk s**t to the person who talks s**t about you. TRUE FRIENDS: Will knock the f**k out of them. FAKE FRIENDS: Will read this. TRUE FRIENDS: Will steal this. *Steals it*
* |..........| Put This Door On
|..........| Your Page If
|......O.| You Have Ever
|..........| Pushed A Door
|..........| That Said Pull !
*A white man once said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die I'll be BLACK. But YOU, sir, when you are born you're PINK. When you grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. When you die you turn PURPLE. And YOU have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.... Put this on your page if you HATE racism.
*Abortion is SO wrong. Not my fault if you've been having sex.
I am only 4 inches long,
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me,
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home, though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what, Mommy?
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad, too,
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
My hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine,
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it, too.
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby, Mommy... your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
I am okay.
I am in Jesus' arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me, Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, put this in your profile.
---♥♥---♥♥--- on your
---♥♥---♥♥--- page if
---♥♥---♥♥--- Thank you.
*95% of all teen girls would go into a panic if Edward Cullen was on a 247 foot building about to jump and kill himself. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 5% who brought popcorn, a chair, and shouted "DO A FLIP!''
* ╔═╦══╦═╗ Put this on your
║╩╣║║║║║ page if you are or support
╚═╩╩╩╩═╝ Emos ♥.♥.♥.
*EMO: Emo doesn't mean you cut yourself. Emo doesn't mean you're gay. Emo doesn't mean you're suicidal. Emo is real. Emo is people. Emo is everything. Emo is a label. Emo is being free. Free to be you. Free to express. Free to tell everyone to f*** off!!! Emo is just a word. -EMOS- *Are not cry babies. *Do not always wear black. *Can be very nice people. *Don't always cut themselves. *Are not always depressed. *Can be happy too. *Are normal people just like you. (Put this on your profile if you agree with this.)
* ┌─┐ ─┐☆
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