Keltoi Samurai

Keltoi Samurai's avatar

Last Login: 05/25/2013 10:09 am

Registered: 02/17/2004

Gender: Male

Location: Somewhere between Hell and Charleston WV

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I am a GOD!

Pope: 1

iMystere

Worshipers: 6

~Xo FoXiLiCiOuS oX~
dynasty_queen
xiang chi
Text 3203105170
Dull Male
Reposiric

condemned to Diabeetus and Hell: 1

[-Erik-]


I have over 1,000 items. Several of them past events. Many rare. Dozens of collectibles. Millions of gold worth of items. The net worth of my active inventory is over 2,000,000 gold, not counting my loose gold or G$, or my storage or suitcase. I have items dating back to the genesis of Gaia, itself.

Most of you will never see this level of wealth. Rejoice, for I have graced you with my presence.



I do not need a flashy profile to prove my superiority to you all.

Comment or PM to be added to my list of Worshipers, for when the End comes and Gaia crashes into E-Oblivion, Only the Avatars of the Faithful shall be Saved. Learn the Ways of Avatar-Salvation, which only I can bring you! Worship me, and have your Screen Name written into the .PDF File of Life! Secure your place in the Kingdom on the Great Disc!

No Purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. Limit of one entry per screen name. Duplicate entries will be erased from the .PDF of life and their Avatars cast into the Great Electro-Magnetic Pit of E-Heck, to be Erased for all Eternity after the Crash. Reward and punishment shall be redeemed after the Crash or Account Deletion, whichever occurs first. Yes, Keltoi Samurai CAN microwave a burrito so hot he could not eat it AND be able to eat it as well. No, I am not the Father of Gaia, only the Prophet of He whose name is LNZR. Yes, you MUST worship me to attain Salvation, not LNZR. Yes, it does make sense. No, you cannot understand the Divine Illogic that makes this make sense. Yes, you MUST obey Laws in the ToS, Given to us straight from the Keyboard(Metatron) of LNZR. No, it doesn't really matter if you do or not, for even should LNZR deem you worthy of Deletion, if you signed your S/N to the .PDF of Life, you're avatar shall Still live on forever on the Great Disc. No, lip service will not cut it. Yes, though, your name cannot be Cut from the .PDF of Life. It's contradictory, but you must believe it, too. You must be able to hold both notions in your head AND believe them both true simultaneously to be included. Or not, since once your name's in that .PDF, you're guaranteed your place on the Great Disc. Unless you screw up, and it gets erased. Which can't happen.

. . . Whatever.

. . .

Please reference the ToS and the Good Book version 3.5 for further rules and regulations.


I am Death. One of the Four Chocobomen of the Apocalypse. Fear me.

over the Xmas event, I helped over a dozen orphans leave the orphanage. Some would say I'm a great humanitarian.

. . . so why is everyone calling me a cannibal?!

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Worm of Morgoth Wrote:
Why does the bible say that God is actually a gay pink flamingo who got totally pissed one day and vomited the universe into being, the largest of the diced carrots becoming the Earth?


Troll kalla mik

help me out? give me your blue bugs?

XxNiqueoxX is directly responsible for my new helm. thank you, friend.

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whenever I say something funny, click here

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Super Fightin Prototype Report | 04/29/2013 2:28 pm
Super Fightin Prototype
They probably get off to the power it gives them - people believe they genuinely find such and such a thing to be offensive and people have to walk around eggshells to prevent their feelings from supposedly being hurt.
Super Fightin Prototype Report | 04/29/2013 2:24 pm
Super Fightin Prototype
Yeah, I agree with you there.

Some of those sickos would probably claim they're being censored, though. emotion_awesome Crazy buttons, social justice whackos and perverts are.
Super Fightin Prototype Report | 04/29/2013 1:45 pm
Super Fightin Prototype
Since we were getting off-topic on the uh... homicide thread, I decided it's best to move the conversation to comments.

Troper Tales was essentially a sort-of section (some people had trouble keeping it in the Troper Tales section and it spilled off into actual articles) where people posted their anecdotes as it related to the trope. Some of them, whether fantasy or reality, were sort of disturbing and the staff decided it was better if it was moved off-site. People would post things like how they wanted to have sex with their siblings and how pants-shittingly scary the scene with the firefighting clown in The Brave Little Toaster was. It was a lot of stuff tangentially related to tropes but just amounted to storytelling and perversion.
Bob Dobbs Report | 04/26/2013 9:54 pm
Bob Dobbs
*would give you some tea if they developed the tech to pass it through a computer*
I have ten various boxes in the larder
Merlot Clover Report | 04/18/2013 1:34 pm
Merlot Clover
I'l call later tonight at work..are you doing ok?
jellykans Report | 03/02/2013 8:57 am
jellykans
Version 3.5, hmm? Lol! Heartfire has a weekly party on Sundays at 1pm PST, and guests are welcome - we will be at 001079, hope you can join us! (Come prepared for a snowball fight and a raffle.)
jellykans Report | 02/02/2013 9:37 pm
jellykans
Oh, good, you have more than six friends. Was hoping I hadn't joined a wierd religion by asking to be friends.... sweatdrop

Oh - Solar has a monthly writing contest that you might be interested in. Top Hats and Martinis: Feb prompt = Horrific Fantasy 150k. I'm planning to enter this month, for the first time. We'll se how far I get - I've planned a lot for the month.
Zelda shadowmask Report | 01/15/2013 12:08 pm
Zelda shadowmask
hello..?
-Kali-La-Fae- Report | 12/18/2012 3:23 pm
-Kali-La-Fae-
Ninja-Pirate-Cowboy-Christ-like-figure huh?
C r s y l Report | 12/05/2012 5:36 pm
C r s y l
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/achievements/thread-master/t.83598121_104/#104

like the thread
it's for the achievement

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The ED's resident Ninja-Pirate-Cowboy-Christ-like-figure

 

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Welcome!

this is my store. key word here being STORE. i.e. where you BUY things. please stop asking for me to donate items. if it were up for donation, I'd let you know.

if you want any form of trash (sans fishing trash), flowers, or Unsightly Body Hair, then I'll gladly give it up to whoever wants it.

if you want tickets, we might be able to negotiate.

thank you.

 

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It's all in the mind.