Keltoi Samurai


Last Login: 04/23/2014 1:02 am

Registered: 02/17/2004

Gender: Animal

Location: Somewhere between Hell and Charleston WV


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I am a GOD!

Pope: 1


Worshipers: 6

~Xo FoXiLiCiOuS oX~
xiang chi
Text 3203105170
Dull Male

condemned to Diabeetus and Hell: 1


I have over 1,000 items. Several of them past events. Many rare. Dozens of collectibles. Millions of gold worth of items. The net worth of my active inventory is over 2,000,000 gold, not counting my loose gold or G$, or my storage or suitcase. I have items dating back to the genesis of Gaia, itself.

Most of you will never see this level of wealth. Rejoice, for I have graced you with my presence.

I do not need a flashy profile to prove my superiority to you all.

Comment or PM to be added to my list of Worshipers, for when the End comes and Gaia crashes into E-Oblivion, Only the Avatars of the Faithful shall be Saved. Learn the Ways of Avatar-Salvation, which only I can bring you! Worship me, and have your Screen Name written into the .PDF File of Life! Secure your place in the Kingdom on the Great Disc!

No Purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. Limit of one entry per screen name. Duplicate entries will be erased from the .PDF of life and their Avatars cast into the Great Electro-Magnetic Pit of E-Heck, to be Erased for all Eternity after the Crash. Reward and punishment shall be redeemed after the Crash or Account Deletion, whichever occurs first. Yes, Keltoi Samurai CAN microwave a burrito so hot he could not eat it AND be able to eat it as well. No, I am not the Father of Gaia, only the Prophet of He whose name is LNZR. Yes, you MUST worship me to attain Salvation, not LNZR. Yes, it does make sense. No, you cannot understand the Divine Illogic that makes this make sense. Yes, you MUST obey Laws in the ToS, Given to us straight from the Keyboard(Metatron) of LNZR. No, it doesn't really matter if you do or not, for even should LNZR deem you worthy of Deletion, if you signed your S/N to the .PDF of Life, you're avatar shall Still live on forever on the Great Disc. No, lip service will not cut it. Yes, though, your name cannot be Cut from the .PDF of Life. It's contradictory, but you must believe it, too. You must be able to hold both notions in your head AND believe them both true simultaneously to be included. Or not, since once your name's in that .PDF, you're guaranteed your place on the Great Disc. Unless you screw up, and it gets erased. Which can't happen.

. . . Whatever.

. . .

Please reference the ToS and the Good Book version 3.5 for further rules and regulations.

I am Death. One of the Four Chocobomen of the Apocalypse. Fear me.

over the Xmas event, I helped over a dozen orphans leave the orphanage. Some would say I'm a great humanitarian.

. . . so why is everyone calling me a cannibal?!

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User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. click to show.

Worm of Morgoth Wrote:
Why does the bible say that God is actually a gay pink flamingo who got totally pissed one day and vomited the universe into being, the largest of the diced carrots becoming the Earth?

Troll kalla mik

help me out? give me your blue bugs?

XxNiqueoxX is directly responsible for my new helm. thank you, friend.

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whenever I say something funny, click here


View All Comments

The Herald of War Report | 03/10/2014 1:22 pm
The Herald of War
Oh yes, just popped in on another account and read the first few pages. Yeah, when people want to say it's something that's true about everyone you know it's probably something they want to make an excuse for in themselves. One of those things I find really irritating, whether they blame it on all the human race, or their gender, or whatever. Then they can not feel bad about those qualities. -_-

Lol, he only said that once, but it was pretty ridiculous. What he was talking about wasn't even 'common sense'. 'Common sense' isn't supposed to be learned. And it's really just the worst excuse ever to not actually explain things.
The Herald of War Report | 03/10/2014 12:38 pm
The Herald of War
I hadn't even read the full thread so I didn't realize he was a self-admitted control freak. It would explain why he seemed to think his 'common sense' could deal with any scenario.
The Herald of War Report | 03/10/2014 12:31 pm
The Herald of War
I'm banned from that million dollar question thread. He wasn't happy with me replying again I gather.

But yes, he doesn't seem very good at getting any meaning out of actions beyond actions themselves.
Merlot Clover Report | 02/08/2014 5:48 pm
Merlot Clover are you?
Blue Infinity Report | 12/31/2013 6:23 pm
Blue Infinity
Happy New Years! heart
Super Fightin Robot Report | 12/23/2013 7:29 am
Super Fightin Robot
I nearly choked on my tea when I saw your signature about assholes. xd

I love you.
Super Fightin Robot Report | 12/21/2013 6:54 am
Super Fightin Robot
I'm sorry to hear about your accident. Hope the maniac learns his lesson one of these days.

I hate people who think drinking to get drunk is fun. It's how some dickface crashed his car thru my parents' bedroom at 11:30 PM.
Because you Report | 11/27/2013 4:54 am
Because you
Profile here 10 out of 10% running across the guy is very annoying to me I listen to believe your comments because your friends now XP
Toxxic Canary Report | 09/24/2013 6:01 am
Toxxic Canary
Maybe he's Jacquimo. emotion_awesome

Well not really since that bird isn't real.
broken_rei_134 Report | 08/25/2013 2:45 pm

Awwww, Keltoi you're leaving? crying At least PM me the reason why. WHY?!!


The ED's resident Ninja-Pirate-Cowboy-Christ-like-figure.

The internet is like a rectal prolapse: it makes your inner a*****e come out.

Remember, kiddies: It's only bias if it doesn't conform to your world paradigm.



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Total Posts: 21064

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Misaki Akiyama on 04/19/2014

My Aquarium

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this is my store. key word here being STORE. i.e. where you BUY things. please stop asking for me to donate items. if it were up for donation, I'd let you know.

if you want any form of trash (sans fishing trash), flowers, or Unsightly Body Hair, then I'll gladly give it up to whoever wants it.

if you want tickets, we might be able to negotiate.

thank you.


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It's all in the mind.