Your very right, Thank you kaz. I did that today at work to, i just went numb. Im still very numb. And im very worried about things on top of this as well. Things im worried if i make a wrong move or hesitate, ill ruin them. Even in this time of pain i need to continue to be a man of action, That your absolutely right about and i thank you for reminding me.
Your also correct as to what i should be doing right now, which is distracting myself. Im incapable of thinking right now, And im no good to anyone like that. I need to get my s**t together, suck it up, and take care of whats important to me.
Kazza i want to run away from your words so badly right now. you have no idea whats going on, But you must be right if what your saying is causing me to feel like this. When i say i don't know what to do though, i mean, i ******** REALLY don't know what to do. I could handle this if that wasn't going on, and vise versa. This is the point in my life, where i'm realizing not having any friends to call when something is terribly wrong is a very very bad thing. I shouldn't of been so antisocial for so long, i don't know how to handle things now. I thought i really did, but in this moment i know i was wrong AGAIN. Its really hard to be confident when you know you've been wrong about so much