I met you through facebook, with just a picture haha. We talked day by day, and ended up falling for each other. But I was scared to admit it, because I was scared to get rejected again. I'm tired of being rejected so I kept my mouth shut, until you showed signs. Saying "I feel like i'm attracted to you somehow" and that's when I confessed. We've seen each other sometimes for a brief moment, but never face to face. Then there was July 29, 2012. I took that chance. I knew I had to take that chance to be with you because I couldn't wait. I couldn't help but feel butterflies when I first saw you. You were my blessing from God, and I shall cherish it, with all my life until I die. Everyone was so happy that we're together. Even Daryl did the wedding march and I still remember we both laughed and you said, "Omg not yet". We took our very first picture together on your lame phone that only had a back camera lol xD
Our love grew. We shared our past and secrets. We understanded each other. You loved me for who I am, and I did too. As time passes by, there was temptation. We said we'd wait but both of us were too madly in love, so we ended up doing it anyway. We did it, both of our first time. It felt weird at first to me, but the other times we did it was so good that we couldn't stop— we almost got caught. Well we did get caught at one point, almost got in trouble. Until there was a time when we knew it was bad to repeat our sins. But that moment when I think about it, I gave it to you for a reason. I gave it to you because you're the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Immorality is considered Sacred to God. That's why we shouldn't take advantage to use it on someone else other than ourselves.
I remember Ka Bon used to say, "Love is like a marriage". And others would say, "Love is a neverending battle."
We did so much together... I still remember those moments when we slow danced, kissed, hugged, bickered, fought, make ups, and all those hardships we had to go through. Everyone looked up to us. Because they saw how strong we are after through that. You slowly reveal your other half through that year... the half that I didn't know you had. But you told me anyway. July 29, 2013: We made it through one year.
Fast forward, 2014 came. There was so much little problems that add up to now. Less people supported us because some didn't care or they chosed sides. The problems like I made you carry the burdens of how much I disliked my parents wrong-doings, Like how I can't go out much, Like how I lied to you about my grades... You just couldn't forgive me even when I apologize to you. Whenever you did something wrong, you apologize and I forgive you cause I can't stay mad at you. But my mistake was not letting you know all the time about what you did wrong, that led you to get away with it— and whenever I point them out late, you'd say "It's not my fault." I knew something was wrong there, because you barely apologize, and the problems kept eating my insides.
Remember this, "Forgive and Forget". Because if we don't forgive, it would cause hatred and grudges. And God knows how we're doing now, and do you think God would be on your side if you're still treating me this way?
You still haven't forgiven me, you still held a grudge. Not only me, but you held so much grudges of other people too. That fully revealed your other half... The Ryan that I used to know. It shot through my heart when we fought more often, it got intense to the point when it's like you hate me now. It was too much for me, it hurted so much, but you couldn't stop being this way. I tried to do my best but with your lashing of verbal and emotional abuse, it degraded me as a girl myself. My confidence was gone... I feared of losing you.
As Iglesia, we are not suppose to believe in Superstition. You told me that before, and I stopped believing in it. You taught me so much, you gave me more faith, more confidence— Honestly you changed my life.
But now you're going against me like it's a war... all of it is gone. What is there to believe in myself anymore...? Am I stupid? Who ever calls me that other than my mom? We know each other more than we know ourselves and I know for a fact you told me i'm not stupid. Why trust people who don't care and make it worse by being involved? Who thinks they know-it-all but they don't fully understand how the other side is dealing too? Why would you stick to their opinions when they don't support us? They don't know us, they may know you but not me.
I remember how you told me, "Love is just a joke, who would love me for my past and the way I am?"
Truth is, Love isn't a joke. Love isn't a game. Love is real, and I remember the answer to what love means was when we watched a segment of "That's in the Bible!" at Irvine on September 29, 2012 when we celebrated our two months anniversary at INC Musical.
And your past, I accepted it. I remember how you cried in front of me because of your dark past. It's been done and I accepted it.
And the way you are, I still love you even if you're like that. It's crazy but I mean it. Do you know how many guts it took for me to still love you? A lot and my love will never change for you. Because I care a lot about you. And you're my other half, My One And Only.
I really wish we can find a way to make it work hun. I tried to tell you what I wanted to fix but you ended up pushing me away... By saying you don't care anymore...
I know how it feels like being pushed away, how you felt. Now you're making me feel the same way you did.
Babe can't you see how much I sacrificed to be with you? How I was still there? How I still loved you for who you are? When problems arise, why run away instead of facing it?
However, I am never going to give up on us babe. No matter how hard it is, I will never stop finding a way. We can even start over if we have to.
I wish I could see you again, just one last time to fix all of this— or even start over again. Just give me another chance please. I took this chance and i'm never going to back down. I'd go down in my knees and beg for you. This time will be better, I promise. Let us start over again. Fix our mess we made, and make up. Because I need you, and without you... it's like affecting the rest of my life because I won't be able to build myself again. Just please... I love you so much Ryan... Mahal na mahal kita, walang iba. I appreciate everything we did together and I really wish we can reconcile.
The only ones I trust now is ading Julia and Marky. They are the ones who care and I appreciate that.
I don'tt want anyone else except you
It's the Cutie Honey~ x3
I see through dark brown eyes. I make a wish on July 22.
Born under the Cancer sign (Boar for Chinese sign).
I'm currently taken by my AMAZING boyfriend.
Mahal na mahal kita walang iba Ryan.
Forever and ever, to infinity and beyond. I'm Asian~ all types of asian...
Filipino, Chinese, Korean, and Japanese...
I'm HELLUH Asian. Lets just say that.
I have a cute Japanese Girl Accent.
(Only when I talk Japanese)
Talented at drawing, gifted at art.
Seeing people smile makes me Happy. ^-^
I'm very caring, funny, sweet, always smiling~
I've joined Gaia since 2007!
Been hooked for a few years then quitted...
Then hooked again since they have good items now!
But Gaia changed a lot now... due to Super Inflation!
(╯°□°）╯. . .
And... that's all you need to know about me~ hehe.
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