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Johannes Cabal's avatar

Location: On the Run

Occupation: Necromancer

The Crimes of Johannes Cabal

Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day (Short Story)

Exeunt Demon King
(Short Story)

The Ereshkigal Working (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Novel)

The House of Gears (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Detective (Novel)

The Death of Me (Short Story)

Ouroboros Ouzo (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Fear Institute (Novel)


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Biography of a Necromancer

Imagine, if you will, dear visitor: A pale tow-headed man of about six feet tall, in his late twenties, dressed sensibly in black from head to toe. He carries with him a Gladstone bag, containing, among other things, the following: a set of precise surgical scalpels, his late father's silver matchbox, what appears to be a padded case that contains various elixers and potions from his experimentations, a switchblade, whatever tome he's stolen from a private collection, and most certainly, a Webley .577 revolver. Various exotic tokens and ritualistic devices can often be found in his bag as well.

He speaks in a British manner, but has a faint Teutonic accent. If you were able, perchance, to get a glimpse of his eyes beyond his smoke-tinted glasses, you would find them to be blue. But if you were to look past the color, you might, at times, find them to be tired, sharp, or most distressingly, absolutely soulless.

Johannes Cabal is the main character of the same named series by author Jonathan L. Howard. A scientist who studies the illegal art of Necromancy in a world similar to ours, past adventures include: Stopping the zombie apocalypse; staying in on a rather dreary day; running an evil carnival to gather 100 wayward souls for Satan in return for his own, with the assistance of his vampire brother Horst; solving a series of political murders to stop a war caused by a power hungry military. He approaches life with the philosophy that death is mankind's greatest enemy (well, besides its own stupidity.) He's willing to do anything to achieve his goals, whatever the cost, be it blood, money, or his own soul.

The Necromancer, Himself


As you wish.

One Johannes Cabal, necromancer (of some little infamy,) detective, blasphemer, grave pilferer, carnival proprietor, and overall, a lying, cheating b*****d.
(In the sense of the insult; My father was an upstanding gentleman, if you will.)

Hates: I don't hate, I have extreme dis-likings.

Dislikes: Small children, large children, elderly people, revenants who refuse to co-operate, mobs, angry villagers, angry relatives of the recently deceased, getting stuck in timeless dimensions, Leonie Barrow, killing, being forced to kill, people generally in my way, political intrigue, demons with nothing better to do than whine at me, Horst's similies (Why. Why are they always sexual?) carnivals, being forced to run a carnival to get my soul back, having to claim 100 souls for Satan (Who knew you needed your own for necromancy? Go figure...), slobbering guard dogs, social interaction, etc....

On Heroics:

"I do almost everything for reasons that might be characterized as selfish. I regard my life as a vital thread in the ongoind march of humanity from protoplasm to-- I don't know, to be honest. Something better than protoplasm would be a start. Therefore, anything that threatens my life now or later has to be dealt with. Paradoxically, that often means risking my life to secure my safety. The difference is that I risk it on my own terms."

Insults, slurs, and cries of revenge

View All Comments

Rhea Byrne Report | 07/13/2014 7:38 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yeah, it kinda does make them difficult to use. I just cover them with a vest or a book like I am now. I'll probably think on it a bit more, since I have stuff I know I want to sell if I need gold.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/13/2014 7:14 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yeah, we're having trouble with them, too. x.x They're eating the broccoli (which is really weird.) But considering Goliath doesn't stop the squirrels, I don't think a statue would.

Gah, should I sell my necromancer school or not? I like the name, but Warlock School's just as nice posewise and considerably cheaper.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/13/2014 7:05 pm
Rhea Byrne
He'll have a good home here. Maybe he'll even scare away the birds getting in mom's garden. We've been wanting something do scare them away. They ate half the seeds before the plants could grow this year. x.x
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/13/2014 6:38 pm
Rhea Byrne
Ech, oversleeping's never fun.

It'll fit right in with my owl stuff. < 3

There's probably some specialty places that'll make them, but this one was custom made for a family that's in the process of losing their home, and it won't fit at their new home. The woman told mom she could have Heathcliff as long as she took care of him, so he's at my grandma's waiting to be painted. (I need to get some before and after pictures) We'll be putting him in the backyard though, so he's not vandalized or stolen.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/13/2014 5:31 pm
Rhea Byrne
Did you have a nice nap?
Ohhh, sounds like a nice day.

Mom got a happy meal today, and asked if she could have the owl toy they have, and she gave it to me. x3 It's pink, but owwllll. <333 She also got a wooden vulture statue for the yard. Needs to be primed and painted, but it'll look awesome.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/13/2014 11:37 am
Rhea Byrne
(( Yo! How's today treating you? ))
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/12/2014 8:51 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yeah, it's adorable. They're a lot noisier than you'd think.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/12/2014 8:38 pm
Rhea Byrne
Ohhhh, they really are pretty. < 3

Look at them all. <3
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/12/2014 8:24 pm
Rhea Byrne
They are! And I've never heard of them until today.

Makes me wonder what other pretty birds I don't know exist there are.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/12/2014 8:00 pm
Rhea Byrne
Had to share that one. Hard to believe how big that little guy's gonna get when he grows up.


“You're familiar with the theory of evolution?" asked Cabal.
"They're about to find out why intelligence is a survival trait.”
-Johannes Cabal the Necromancer-


"I sound quite mythical, don't I? What wonders shallI perform next?"