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Johannes Cabal's avatar

Location: On the Run

Occupation: Necromancer

The Crimes of Johannes Cabal

Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day (Short Story)

Exeunt Demon King
(Short Story)

The Ereshkigal Working (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Novel)

The House of Gears (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Detective (Novel)

The Death of Me (Short Story)

A Long Spoon (Short Story)

Ouroboros Ouzo (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Fear Institute (Novel)

The Brothers Cabal (Novel)


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Armed and Dangerous


Biography of a Necromancer

Imagine, if you will, dear visitor: A pale tow-headed man of about six feet tall, in his late twenties, dressed sensibly in black from head to toe. He carries with him a Gladstone bag, containing, among other things, the following: a set of precise surgical scalpels, his late father's silver matchbox, what appears to be a padded case that contains various elixers and potions from his experimentations, a switchblade, whatever tome he's stolen from a private collection, and most certainly, a Webley .577 revolver. Various exotic tokens and ritualistic devices can often be found in his bag as well.

He speaks in a British manner, but has a faint Teutonic accent. If you were able, perchance, to get a glimpse of his eyes beyond his smoke-tinted glasses, you would find them to be blue. But if you were to look past the color, you might, at times, find them to be tired, sharp, or most distressingly, absolutely soulless.

Johannes Cabal is the main character of the same named series by author Jonathan L. Howard. A scientist who studies the illegal art of Necromancy in a world similar to ours, past adventures include: Stopping the zombie apocalypse; staying in on a rather dreary day; running an evil carnival to gather 100 wayward souls for Satan in return for his own, with the assistance of his vampire brother Horst; solving a series of political murders to stop a war caused by a power hungry military. He approaches life with the philosophy that death is mankind's greatest enemy (well, besides its own stupidity.) He's willing to do anything to achieve his goals, whatever the cost, be it blood, money, or his own soul.

The Necromancer, Himself


As you wish.

One Johannes Cabal, necromancer (of some little infamy,) detective, blasphemer, grave pilferer, carnival proprietor, and overall, a lying, cheating b*****d.
(In the sense of the insult; My father was an upstanding gentleman, if you will.)

Hates: I don't hate, I have extreme dis-likings.

Dislikes: Small children, large children, elderly people, revenants who refuse to co-operate, mobs, angry villagers, angry relatives of the recently deceased, getting stuck in timeless dimensions, Leonie Barrow, killing, being forced to kill, people generally in my way, political intrigue, demons with nothing better to do than whine at me, Horst's similies (Why. Why are they always sexual?) carnivals, being forced to run a carnival to get my soul back, having to claim 100 souls for Satan (Who knew you needed your own for necromancy? Go figure...), slobbering guard dogs, social interaction, etc....

On Heroics:

"I do almost everything for reasons that might be characterized as selfish. I regard my life as a vital thread in the ongoind march of humanity from protoplasm to-- I don't know, to be honest. Something better than protoplasm would be a start. Therefore, anything that threatens my life now or later has to be dealt with. Paradoxically, that often means risking my life to secure my safety. The difference is that I risk it on my own terms."

Insults, slurs, and cries of revenge

View All Comments

Ghoul Mistress Report | 08/24/2016 5:46 pm
Ghoul Mistress
He thinks he's rebelling against me again, so I let him run free... for now. Whatever keeps him happy, I suppose. How have things been faring for you?
Ghoul Mistress Report | 08/22/2016 4:57 pm
Ghoul Mistress
"Hello, Mr. Cabal. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?"
Horror and Satire Report | 08/07/2016 12:06 pm
Horror and Satire
Oh, an Etsy card is a great idea. Thanks! I'm going to consider it whee
Umpenscrump Report | 07/27/2016 5:49 am
I went to Helen Back yesterday but I got the pizza 'cause I really wanted pizza. It was alright pizza. The mozzarella sticks and egg rolls were good though. I would've liked the buffalo wings more if they were more mild. Maybe I can get burgers some other day.
I'll for sure be going to Pensacola. There's a museum over there I'm gonna look at.
Thanks for the recommendations. biggrin
Umpenscrump Report | 07/25/2016 6:15 am
I'm actually at Fort Walton Beach.
AtreeX Report | 05/18/2016 1:15 am
AtreeX Report | 05/05/2016 6:39 pm
It's only happy when every giant genocide planet is gone. @ ^@
AtreeX Report | 05/05/2016 5:39 am
Skeet Draconis Report | 05/01/2016 9:31 pm
Skeet Draconis
User ImageAll was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others...

Probably about as well as anybody else, because there's just no justice in the universe. OTL

...of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.
Skeet Draconis Report | 05/01/2016 8:12 pm
Skeet Draconis
User ImageAll was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others...

I...hated Jackass so much. OTL It didn't appeal to me and I knew people in high school that loved it and wouldn't shut up about it and also loved doing stupid s**t for no reason.

....jackasses. classified_fu

...of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.



"I sound quite mythical, don't I? What wonders shallI perform next?"