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Johannes Cabal's avatar

Location: On the Run

Occupation: Necromancer

The Crimes of Johannes Cabal

Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day (Short Story)

Exeunt Demon King
(Short Story)

The Ereshkigal Working (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Novel)

The House of Gears (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Detective (Novel)

The Death of Me (Short Story)

A Long Spoon (Short Story)

Ouroboros Ouzo (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Fear Institute (Novel)

The Brothers Cabal (Novel)


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Biography of a Necromancer

Imagine, if you will, dear visitor: A pale tow-headed man of about six feet tall, in his late twenties, dressed sensibly in black from head to toe. He carries with him a Gladstone bag, containing, among other things, the following: a set of precise surgical scalpels, his late father's silver matchbox, what appears to be a padded case that contains various elixers and potions from his experimentations, a switchblade, whatever tome he's stolen from a private collection, and most certainly, a Webley .577 revolver. Various exotic tokens and ritualistic devices can often be found in his bag as well.

He speaks in a British manner, but has a faint Teutonic accent. If you were able, perchance, to get a glimpse of his eyes beyond his smoke-tinted glasses, you would find them to be blue. But if you were to look past the color, you might, at times, find them to be tired, sharp, or most distressingly, absolutely soulless.

Johannes Cabal is the main character of the same named series by author Jonathan L. Howard. A scientist who studies the illegal art of Necromancy in a world similar to ours, past adventures include: Stopping the zombie apocalypse; staying in on a rather dreary day; running an evil carnival to gather 100 wayward souls for Satan in return for his own, with the assistance of his vampire brother Horst; solving a series of political murders to stop a war caused by a power hungry military. He approaches life with the philosophy that death is mankind's greatest enemy (well, besides its own stupidity.) He's willing to do anything to achieve his goals, whatever the cost, be it blood, money, or his own soul.

The Necromancer, Himself


As you wish.

One Johannes Cabal, necromancer (of some little infamy,) detective, blasphemer, grave pilferer, carnival proprietor, and overall, a lying, cheating b*****d.
(In the sense of the insult; My father was an upstanding gentleman, if you will.)

Hates: I don't hate, I have extreme dis-likings.

Dislikes: Small children, large children, elderly people, revenants who refuse to co-operate, mobs, angry villagers, angry relatives of the recently deceased, getting stuck in timeless dimensions, Leonie Barrow, killing, being forced to kill, people generally in my way, political intrigue, demons with nothing better to do than whine at me, Horst's similies (Why. Why are they always sexual?) carnivals, being forced to run a carnival to get my soul back, having to claim 100 souls for Satan (Who knew you needed your own for necromancy? Go figure...), slobbering guard dogs, social interaction, etc....

On Heroics:

"I do almost everything for reasons that might be characterized as selfish. I regard my life as a vital thread in the ongoind march of humanity from protoplasm to-- I don't know, to be honest. Something better than protoplasm would be a start. Therefore, anything that threatens my life now or later has to be dealt with. Paradoxically, that often means risking my life to secure my safety. The difference is that I risk it on my own terms."

Insults, slurs, and cries of revenge

View All Comments

Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 7:19 pm
Rhea Byrne
I'm just gonna hope people learn to close the bathroom door. I don't have a door, so I can't exactly give up the gate.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 7:14 pm
Rhea Byrne
It's already blocking the stairs to my room, since he kept getting into stuff up there.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 7:13 pm
Rhea Byrne
I did. Keeping him away from my face now. xP Liz left the bathroom door open, and he got into it. Again. I managed to take it away before he ate it, but still. Ew.
She really needs to keep a better eye on her puppy.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 7:09 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yeah, it sucks. xP

Aww, the puppy came upstairs to greet me.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 7:03 pm
Rhea Byrne
I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen with my meds. I was anyway for cramps, but I was starting to bruise really easy, so I had to stop. xp I've got an ice pack and a cushion, though.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 6:58 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yep. xP And we knew he was trying to get into the bathroom garbage, but either mom or dad forgot to shut the door. (Which should be shut anyway because Goliath would get into that garbage, too. He likes to scatter the contents of the can.)

I don't think it's broken at least. So that's a plus. If it keeps hurting too bad, I'll go to my doctor and see if she can prescribe me something I can take with my anxiety meds to help with the pain.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 6:50 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yeah, a used one, but that's what he got.

I felt like I was going to be sick right after it happened. Thankfully it stopped hurting that much by the time we got to the market.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 6:47 pm
Rhea Byrne
I hope so, too. It's been a couple of days, so we'll find out soon. Hopefully this'll get people to remember to close the bathroom door, though.xP

Oh, ouch. Poor guy. D: I don't blame you for that.

Yep, and landed on a small tree trunk. (About the diameter of a pop can) The ground would have hurt less.
Rhea Byrne Report | 03/03/2015 6:35 pm
Rhea Byrne
I'm alright. Worried about the puppy. (He ate something he wasn't supposed to, so we've been watching him the past few days to make sure it passes through).
It's sore. Probably going to be for a few days at the least. x.x (At least it's an excuse not to go outside for a while)
Rhea Byrne Report | 02/27/2015 4:13 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yoooo, how's it going?


“You're familiar with the theory of evolution?" asked Cabal.
"They're about to find out why intelligence is a survival trait.”
-Johannes Cabal the Necromancer-


"I sound quite mythical, don't I? What wonders shallI perform next?"