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Johannes Cabal's avatar

Location: On the Run

Occupation: Necromancer

The Crimes of Johannes Cabal

Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day (Short Story)

Exeunt Demon King
(Short Story)

The Ereshkigal Working (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Novel)

The House of Gears (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Detective (Novel)

The Death of Me (Short Story)

A Long Spoon (Short Story)

Ouroboros Ouzo (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Fear Institute (Novel)

The Brothers Cabal (Novel)


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Armed and Dangerous


Biography of a Necromancer

Imagine, if you will, dear visitor: A pale tow-headed man of about six feet tall, in his late twenties, dressed sensibly in black from head to toe. He carries with him a Gladstone bag, containing, among other things, the following: a set of precise surgical scalpels, his late father's silver matchbox, what appears to be a padded case that contains various elixers and potions from his experimentations, a switchblade, whatever tome he's stolen from a private collection, and most certainly, a Webley .577 revolver. Various exotic tokens and ritualistic devices can often be found in his bag as well.

He speaks in a British manner, but has a faint Teutonic accent. If you were able, perchance, to get a glimpse of his eyes beyond his smoke-tinted glasses, you would find them to be blue. But if you were to look past the color, you might, at times, find them to be tired, sharp, or most distressingly, absolutely soulless.

Johannes Cabal is the main character of the same named series by author Jonathan L. Howard. A scientist who studies the illegal art of Necromancy in a world similar to ours, past adventures include: Stopping the zombie apocalypse; staying in on a rather dreary day; running an evil carnival to gather 100 wayward souls for Satan in return for his own, with the assistance of his vampire brother Horst; solving a series of political murders to stop a war caused by a power hungry military. He approaches life with the philosophy that death is mankind's greatest enemy (well, besides its own stupidity.) He's willing to do anything to achieve his goals, whatever the cost, be it blood, money, or his own soul.

The Necromancer, Himself


As you wish.

One Johannes Cabal, necromancer (of some little infamy,) detective, blasphemer, grave pilferer, carnival proprietor, and overall, a lying, cheating b*****d.
(In the sense of the insult; My father was an upstanding gentleman, if you will.)

Hates: I don't hate, I have extreme dis-likings.

Dislikes: Small children, large children, elderly people, revenants who refuse to co-operate, mobs, angry villagers, angry relatives of the recently deceased, getting stuck in timeless dimensions, Leonie Barrow, killing, being forced to kill, people generally in my way, political intrigue, demons with nothing better to do than whine at me, Horst's similies (Why. Why are they always sexual?) carnivals, being forced to run a carnival to get my soul back, having to claim 100 souls for Satan (Who knew you needed your own for necromancy? Go figure...), slobbering guard dogs, social interaction, etc....

On Heroics:

"I do almost everything for reasons that might be characterized as selfish. I regard my life as a vital thread in the ongoind march of humanity from protoplasm to-- I don't know, to be honest. Something better than protoplasm would be a start. Therefore, anything that threatens my life now or later has to be dealt with. Paradoxically, that often means risking my life to secure my safety. The difference is that I risk it on my own terms."

Insults, slurs, and cries of revenge

View All Comments

Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 11:25 pm
Rhea Byrne
True, true. Or at the very least distract them until one of the tanks can distract them. Then melt them. Or explode them. Using explosives is fun, too
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 10:56 pm
Rhea Byrne
Well I suppose you have a point there. Could strangle someone with the string, and it could make an impromptu mace if heavy enough.

The thought of beating some of the larger bosses with one is still funny, though
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 10:41 pm
Rhea Byrne
Is it any worse than being killed by a yoyo? (Seriously Rhea's current (ranged) melee weapon)
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 10:36 pm
Rhea Byrne
Which is why I want meowmere. What better way to go stabbity than a kitty sword that shoots kitty-shaped projectiles while it meows?
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 10:32 pm
Rhea Byrne
I think I am the supernatural Orkin man. xD I have garbage defense (what mage doesn't?) but I can melt things that aren't up in my face
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 10:17 pm
Rhea Byrne
Thank you! I was gonna build something in the underground desert biome, then I realized that antlions would be a problem. (And now the ghouls. I hate going there to explore now, even with endgame gear xD) The snow does look nice with the marble though, helps it blend better. Plus less things that can break open doors)

Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 9:53 pm
Rhea Byrne
Yeah, he's pretty sensitive about it, too. First time we went up against him, someone joked about it in chat, and we were slaughtered, horribly. Ol' Moon Lord is a grumpy-butt. (at least we got a strategy now. I still need the Meowmere)

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Finished it! Was going to do bone walls like I did in the last world's one, but I changed my mind.
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 9:38 pm
Rhea Byrne
Good, goofing off is good.

I'm good. The group's taking a bit of a break from terraria, so I'm trying to get back into the WG and making avatars. (While debating moving Rhea's lab out of the pyramid while everyone's gone instead. )
I do gotta say, the endboss was pretty intimidating at 4-5 in the morning.
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Rhea Byrne Report | 07/05/2015 9:32 pm
Rhea Byrne
Hey! How's it going?
Rhea Byrne Report | 07/04/2015 7:26 pm
Rhea Byrne
Help, terraria's update is too good and addicting. xD

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The bottom room is still unfinished, yet, but the server's down.

How are you?


'Goddamn, there's always such a temptation to be good, to be good...'


"I sound quite mythical, don't I? What wonders shallI perform next?"