Details
- Last Login
- 04/05/2012 3:17 am
- Total Posts
- 5593
- Posts Per Day
- 1.98
- Member Since
- 09/10/2004
- Location
- Somewhere with Sarah.
- Gender
- Female
Interests
- Hobbies/Interests
- Killing those who annoy me.
Wish List
About
NYAAAAAARR I GET MAH OWN PICTURE HARHARHAR!
Aya = <333333333.
Hi!
I'm Rain Eris.
You can call me Rain; I don't mind.
Or Jessica.
Jessi/e/ if you have a death wish.
I am seventeen; going on eighteen, and my best friend is my little sister.
I take my role as a big sister quite seriously, so here are these.
(I did not make them up. I just changed some words around.)
Rule One:
If you pull up at the bar, honk your horn and demand to know where my sister is, you better be trying to take us both out cause you sure as hell ain't picking her up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my sister in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my sister's body, I will remove them. With dental floss.
Rule Three:
I am aware that days can be hot, and this may induce you to take off your shirt. I am also aware that some of you enjoy to wear, all days of the year, loose pants that show your underwear. I have no problem with you wearing these, and you may show up to the bar in them, but if you show any interest in my sister? I will be taking a staple gun and staping these pants up around your waist. They will be tighter then the leather pants Olivia Newton-John wore in Grease; and those had to be /cut/ off her.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about the weather, or politics, sports or the current events. Quite frankly, I don't care. You want to ask me about something? Ask me about our family stalker, about our older sisters and the various people we know that I will call on your a** if you hurt her. Otherwise; all I need from you is to tell me where you are going, what you are doing and when you are bringing her home. Ideally; that is "In two hours; ma'am."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a good, popular, charistmatic- whatever, boy. You've probably got alot of whores/harlots/nice young ladies who wish to date you, and that's not a problem with me- as long as my little sister is alright with it. You start something with her, and you continue it. If you make my sister cry; I will make you cry, and Ross and Vampy will assist.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in the bar area, waiting for my little sister to finish whatever she is doing, you are not to wander around, fidget, sigh, look in any way distressed or call out for her to hurry up. In a bar with five children, two teenagers and a stalker constantly shadowing us, simple things can take a very long time.
Why don't you do something useful; like fixing part of the roof?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my sister: Places with beds; sofa's, couches, comfortable chairs, any place, infact, with surface softer then a metal or wooden stool. Any place where there is darkness; happiness, sunshine or laughter and isn't a maternity ward, church, the Vatican, nuns, police, parents or children. Any place that gives her a reason to want to be close to you.
Paintballing is good, but taking her to see one of her sisters would be better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may be a nutcase; I may be eighteen and I may be the stupid one in the family?
But when it comes to my little sister, I am the merciless all knowing God of your ******** universe. If you lie to me, I will know, and I will kill you. You have one chance every time to tell me the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth and every little DETAIL of it.
I have two sisters, various weapons, a shovel, a big bar and alot of forest area around it. Don't ******** with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car out front of the bar for the stalker walking across the gravel, or my ex pulling into the bar. When this happens, the voice in my head will instruct me to kill all those in my path, and I will take heed of my voice.
As soon as you do pull up to the bar, exit the car, walk a metre away, lie face down on the ground, yell out the password and make sure you do not so much as twitch on the ground. Announce my sister is home and untouched, and lie there until you hear two whistles. You may then get up slowly, back towards your car, get in and go.
There is no need to come inside, look back at the bar or wave.
I am waiting at the window with a rifle.
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Journal
Me and my NOT normal life.
THIS is a journal about my strange life.
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