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“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
- Marilyn Monroe

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Comments

Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 7:54 pm

TA-Regret

have you read fifty shades of grey?
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 7:32 pm

TA-Regret

sorry i ******** up. i meant american not irish. im sorry bby
forgive me
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 7:29 pm

TA-Regret

why are you stealing your neighbors internet
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 7:21 am

TA-Regret

A mayor of a city needs to build a small bridge. He interviews a bunch of contractors for their price quotes so he can get the best deal for the city.

He talks to a mexican contractor first. The mexican says it will cost $200,000.
The mayor says "oh, could you break down the costs for me?"
"Sure thing! it's about 100k for labor, and 100k for materials"

Next, he talks to an irish contractor. He says it will cost about $300,000.
The mayor asks for another breakdown of costs
"It's about 200k for labor and 100k for materials"

The mayor is about to choose the Mexican to do the job but he sees another offer.

He talks to an Italian. "How much is it gonna cost for you guys?"
The Italian says "$600,000"
The mayor is taken aback. "What the... Can you break down the costs??"
He was really confused, how could the Italian cost way more than the previous two?

the Italian replied:

"200k for me, 200k for you, and 200k for the mexicans"
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 6:54 am

TA-Regret

WHAT.

WHY ARE YOU UNABLE TO WATCH STUFF IS YOUR INTERNET LIKE UBES BAD?
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 3:41 am

TA-Regret

y u never on skype crying
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 3:34 am

TA-Regret

haha. no wonder your sense of humor is so good <3

Did you hear about the one with the mexican, american and italian?
TA-Regret

Report | 01/30/2015 2:07 am

TA-Regret

damnit. are you a jokes afficiando?
TA-Regret

Report | 01/29/2015 8:58 pm

TA-Regret

That reminds me of a joke.

This man sees an incredibly hot nun on the bus. He hits on her but she completely rejects him.
He complains about it to the bus driver "damn. that nun is so hot, i just wanna have sex with her"
The bus driver goes. " I know a way to trick her"
"Every night she goes to the cemetery and prays to god to take her and her humanly desires away"
"All you have to go there dressed up as god and tell her to have sex with you when she is finished praying"

Sure enough, that's what the man planned to do
Later that night, the man saw the nun praying in the cemetary.
He waited until she was finished and said
"Behold, I have come to answer your prayers. Bend over and I will deliver you"
The nun did as he told
and he penetrated her.

After a few minutes of doing that
the man said

AHA! I'M NOT GOD! I'M JUST THE MAN FROM THE BUS!
hahaha

Then the nun turned around and said

AHA! I'M THE BUS DRIVER
TA-Regret

Report | 01/29/2015 3:58 am

TA-Regret

we can have suprise buttsex toge-
oh s**t it won't be a suprise now that we're planning it

OH.
no all you have to do
is

oh we can just not plan it
there we go