Meh...I'm described best by the song "Lonely Day" by System Of A Down, because every day of my life is like the lyrics of that song.
You don' know what it is you have till it's gone. So cherish it now before it's gone... gone... ...gone.
This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not god who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. Its us. Only us