For no real reason

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Birthday: 12/23

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Total Posts: 11821

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A little about me

I like to play video games, and write poetry sometimes. I occasionally flood the word games forum with a lot of posts, then vanish for a long time. Most people call me Ree or FNRR. I'm okay with most people, but I don't generally open up to many. I like pepsi and coca-cola. Wanna know more stuff? Talk to me! Wait, where are you going? Oh... okay, bye...

Letting go

That moment in suspension-
The one that breaks the tension-
That shatters all that’s left behind
Leaves nothing left for me to find

Clutching at the threads
On slowly cooling beds
Where once we dreamt of future days
Before we knew that we’d part ways

These memories mean more to me
Than idle, drifting fantasy
And through it all I know
The pain of letting go.

I wish that I had spoken more
In conversations past
I know these things are flawed at core –
The cycle cannot last.

Now I sit alone and wonder
At the clock upon the wall
Though my world is torn asunder
The second hand still falls.

I can barely comprehend
Through this endless aching flow
That the chapter’s at an end
It’s time to let it go.

So I close my eyes and put away
These thoughts of yesterday
Despite the many tears I’ve cried
Look forward to the brighter side

I know that every sorrow
Prepares me for tomorrow
Since in the end, strife
Is part of life.

And though sometimes I’ll miss you
And sometimes I’ll need a tissue,
New things will fill the void and so
I’m finally letting go.

Arrhythmic poem

You danced in circles around in my head
And you took me home and you led me to bed
But you left in a hurry and you never said
All the things I imagined you would

You let go, and we fall apart
So go slow, you are breaking my heart
And I know these things don’t always last
But I hope we go back to the past

And I woke in the morning to the bright sunlight
Those rays were shining just a little too bright
And I guess I’ll never have another night
Like the one you gave me before you left my life

We let go, and we reach the end
But go slow, for we have just began
even though it’s no more than just friends
yet here we go, and we begin again

I walked outside and I opened my eyes
And I saw the world for the very first time
And I don't feel better and I don’t want to try
To live live in a world where there's no you and I

Here we go, we begin again
Even though there was a bitter end
And I know it doesn’t make much sense
But I hope that you will let me in


When your world is shattered and you sink into despair
I will be beside you to let you know I'm there
I'll tell you how you're never really, truly all alone
And then we'll stand again and bravely face the great unknown.
101 people who love you to death
But no single one can quite steal your breath
and then you meet the one just for you
the one who makes your heart sing true
they ignore you plainly and pass you by
appraising the crowd with a critical eye
I can tell you now one of the facts of life:
Irony cuts like a knife.
Just beyond the trees I see
An image that appeals to me
In the cold and misty night
the silver lake reflects moonlight
A work of art that has no name
A mirror that I cannot frame
As I see it, it would seem
the spectacle is like a dream
My eyes, once dark in the night
Now reflect a speck of silver light.

Eyes (A more abstract poem)

Saying more than spoken word
No clearer meaning ever heard
Alight with wonder
Wide with fear
Sorrow brings with it a tear
Reflecting thunder
Sometimes joy
Batting lashes, feeling coy
Drowning in a deeper blue
Than any sea we ever knew
Awash with bright and charming green
A blooming forest yet unseen
Hazel, Silver, Copper, Gold
Each a story to be told
Keep them open wide and clear
Let them show your hope and fear
And until you lose your earthly ties
Know the value of your eyes.

A longer poem

I was once a soldier; I stood for many things.
I was a one-man army; my rivals all were kings!
In battle I was a madman, with my enemies falling like stones;
At each war’s conclusion the field was strewn with bones.
But I did have a weakness and it made me fear the day
When my enemies would learn it, and with me do away.
That weakness was my truest love, my lovely Caroline
And all across the land there was no maiden quite so fine.
But my dearest love was a secret; Her place in my heart was deep.
And I thought of her each night before I lay me down to sleep.
I hid her away in a far-off town, way out across the sea;
And though we were so far apart she felt quite close to me.
I had thought my love was a secret, and my love had thought so too;
But one day a mighty wooden ship came sailing across the blue.
And locked away in the galley, bound by chains and rope
Was the captured maiden Caroline, and with I her only hope.
My heart beat faster with terror, for I saw the captain then:
And grouped up all around her he had his finest men.
He barked an order to them and then he did face me
And said if I didn’t pay him he’d dump her into the sea.
Well I did know a thing or two about this evil crew;
It was assembled of only the finest rogues, and they numbered quite a few.
Well, I readied myself for battle, for I hadn’t the money to pay
And it is with solemn pride that I do remember that day
For it was the day that I fought those scoundrels aboard that wooden craft;
And I slew them all for their heinous crimes, everyone from fore to aft;
But this story has a happy end, for on that day you see
My lovely maiden Caroline did finally return to me.

Another long poem

My soul is as black as the midnight sky
It grows blacker and blacker with every new lie
It wont let me free and it stifles each cry
The evil in me refuses to die

It knows what I want and it knows what I need
Together we work and together we feed
It devours my soul, my emotions they bleed
My heart breaks again with each wicked deed

What do you do when the monster is you?
And it constantly threatens to tear you in two?
My spirit's in tatters and each day I rue
The fact that I pay this foul creature its due!

More poetry

On cold and dark and starry nights
Away from all the city lights
I softly wonder in the grass
and watch the eons slowly pass

A million distant lonely spheres
outlive us by ten thousand years
Like time itself they slowly turn
Without a worry or concern.

Somewhere across the gap of space
some distant, quiet, lonely place
In someplace I may never see
I know you're watching over me.

Art from people.

Thank you to Bentali!

Thank you to Mental Marionette!

Thank you to Sage Winters!

Thank you to [b]Cyanide Candy![b]


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a little hummingbird Report | 12/23/2016 10:23 am
a little hummingbird
HAPPY BIRTHDAY User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
Tsarphael Report | 12/30/2014 4:39 am
Happy birthday, bud.
Tsarphael Report | 11/23/2014 1:43 am
It's Constanctinova/ Valalu/ Revesun. Just, yeah.. hey.
Tsarphael Report | 11/21/2014 3:15 am
Fio Germi Report | 06/16/2014 11:01 pm
Fio Germi
-Dusts off comment box-
trkDipset Report | 01/05/2014 8:21 pm
Goddamn Gaia, I should start uploading my rambles to pastebin so gaia can't cut them apart.

Garen and Kat have that kind of relationship where they'd clash all the time, from ideals to goals, because they're both so strong-willed and neither of them would back down if their goals were challenged. But the fiercest hate can make for love just as ferocious, and that's where they'd be great. Because, as strong-willed as they both are, I think they'd be able to recognize the strength in the other and respect their goals/beliefs, even if they didn't agree with them and tried to dissuade them. ( I hate Garen as a champ, but as a character I can definitely get behind him. ) Yeah, I definitely ship Lux/Talon now, they've got so much in common despite being from entirely opposite ends of the spectrum. I think they'd be great together, even though I really like Ezreal/Lux as a ship. But, while Ezreal and Lux are both prodigies, I feel like Talon and Lux would have more in common. Talon and Lux both know the isolation that life can bring, whereas Ezreal's isolation was a choice of his own when he went out to explore the world.

The lore I want to see most expanded is the lore involving Nasus/Renekton (since their rivalry has spanned entire worlds) and the lore between Kayle and Morgana. I love Morgana to death, how she stands up for the wrong she sees in her own people and wants to right it, and I love how Kayle is the exact opposite, buying into what she's raised to believe and sees dissent as an offense to the wellbeing of her people. I want their lore to go further than just "siblings with different beliefs who hate each other as a result of not seeing eye-to-eye". Someday, I hope to see their lore expanded upon.
trkDipset Report | 01/05/2014 8:20 pm
[size=11]Let me just start off saying I'm sorry I took so long to respond; I'm preparing for a move to another state, and between certifying my pharmacy licensure between the states and making sure my license will apply there and looking for places to live by visiting the city, I get super busy sometimes. That's why I've taken so long, I apologize, I've been away for a few days. orz

I think what's most ironic about Fizz is that they nerfed a few of his AP ratios and he's [i]still[/i] incredibly annoying to deal with. He slow you, dash to you, pull that omnidirectional invulnerability you mentioned, and still get out safely half the time due to the low cooldown of Playful/Trickster at max rank. It's so incredibly frustrating, because he's not like the other assassins; he doesn't take careful positioning or planning, you can just go all in with him and there's minimal risk to him, even under a turret. Nothing is more frustrating than knowing that you can play as passively as you want, you're still in danger of dying, even under your turret. Fizz needs to have something done about him, because a Fizz mid is generally a one-way ticket to GG for the team that's got him. I don't like to call champs overpowered, because everyone's got their weaknesses (Zed's incredibly open to harass due to the cooldown of Living Shadow, Katarina's vulnerable after she uses Shunpo, Talon has no escapes before 6, Nidalee is easy to take out at close range, Kassadin can't stand up to melee and has a weak laning phase pre-6, etc.), but Fizz literally has none. That's why I hate him, and as fun as he is to play, I don't play him because I feel like a sell-out when I do. Evelynn's not big in the current meta, which I agree, is kind of weird. The real reason I think people don't play Evelynn/Mundo jungle is because a lot of people base their champ choices on what the pros are playing. Vi, Jarvan, all the LCS/pro stream stuff is what people play, and if it's not the pros' streams they're following, it's their own personal preference for champs. The only person who's played Evelynn professionally is Meteos, and that was one game out of the NA LCS, and none of the pros play Mundo, so people don't often play them because they aren't trying to mimic the behavior of someone else. At least, that's what I've noticed and what I think. Jungle champs spike in popularity after LCS, which is why people play Vi so much now; she was a huge pick during LCS for jungle.

I can understand the tradeoff with Shaco though, because if he doesn't get super fed early on he'll fall off mid/lategame. BotRK Shaco is terrifying at any point though, because he can just show up and autoattack your health to minimal levels, then use his clone to damage you further, but it's obvious which is the clone and which is the real Shaco unless they're next-level Shaco players. Yeah, that's basically how I feel about Yasuo. There are a lot of things in his kit that make him inherently ridiculous to deal with, but at the same time there are weaknesses built in. I'm just not sure if the weaknesses balance out the strengths. You can dash behind his Wind Wall to damage him with projectiles, but the rest of his kit is a pain; he can knock you up and ult you, shield himself and burst you down with crits, or dash away as long as there are minions nearby. I don't really enjoy running into him, but it's not like it is with Yi, where I see him and immediately groan and roll my eyes at the faceroll difficulty of his kit. I think maybe I just don't know how to deal with him yet; Yi can be messed up with any CC that doesn't involve slowing him, I've yet to find the kink in Yasuo's kit (outside of dashing behind windwall) that makes him able to be dealt with.

I hope one of these days we run into each other. It's either one of us is ingame when the other isn't, or one of us is online when the other isn't. Someday I hope we're both not busy and get to play together, haha!

Garen and Kat have that kind
trkDipset Report | 01/01/2014 11:27 pm
Afdjalfk GAIA PLS. orz

"The time for talk is over", "My spirit is not lost!", how can she get any more awesome? I love Vi too, and how she's not a dainty, softspoken woman; she's violent, and she likes punching stuff. She lives by the creed, "Punch first, ask questions while punching", I love that about her. It's really awesome to see women who kick more a** than most men, and that's definitely Vi. I love Jinx too, though. Her insanity appeals to me, as does her desire to cause chaos and destruction simply because it entertains her. A lot of villains have some diabolical plan to take over the world or something cliché like that, she just hates being bored and fixes it by blowing things up. Plus, her lines! "I'm wearing lots of belts...for no reason at all!"

When I saw that, it made me try to think of a ship name for them, but I wound up thinking of a ship name for Malphite/Orianna: Robot Rock. Total crackship that I don't ship at all, but I giggled at the name.
trkDipset Report | 01/01/2014 11:27 pm
[size=11]I don't even go to the league forums, it's full of trolls and people who don't understand that opinions aren't just cause to verbally attack someone. I see enough toxicity ingame, I take a pass on it in the forums. I think the only real freelo midlane assassin is Fizz, because even if he somehow loses the lane, all it takes is a kill or two and he can snowball the rest of the game and make a comeback from there. He's like Yi, only more annoying because he can make himself invulnerable whether there are enemies present or not with Playful/Trickster. Oh yeah, she's a nightmare with the ward changes. Even knowing regular wards can't detect her, people often won't buy pinks since she can just show up, kill them, and her presence is established without her ever even having to follow up and gank after. If you do jungle with her, I'd suggest 9/21/0 masteries. The jungle creeps hit really hard this season now that they scale up, and she's one of the squishiest junglers you'll ever see. She was squishy [i]before[/i] the jungle changes, she's even squishier now. But when she sneaks into a lane and gets a couple kills or an assist, she snowballs ridiculously hard. I'm sure you know that since you've played her before though, haha. Yeah, he's actually a great pick now! He's got that Shyvana-level clear speed, and his passive makes him inherently sustainable in the jungle. He can grab a Wriggle's and hyperfarm out tanky items if his team's doing well, or grab an Ancient Golem if he's going to focus more on ganking, and either way it's a great call, because he's potent at either. He's not a champ I enjoy playing myself, but I can definitely give him props for being such a solid choice in the current jungle meta.

Oh, alright! I'll definitely give that a go, then! I've never been sure whether she'd be better off with flat AD or ArPen, but I'm going to make it a point to run her with the latter when I finish the page. Just the mention of the name "Shaco" sends horrible figurative shivers down my spine, I detest clowns and I hate stealthy clowns who can leap out of stealth and stab you to death before you've got time to run even more. I'm very good about knowing which Shaco is the real one, though, people have so many telltale signs that give it away. Speaking of Yasuo, how do you feel about him? I don't know whether to love or hate him.

I was determined to see if you wanted to play tonight, but then I went into a match as midlane Ezreal and wound up going 6/13. I could blame it on my accidental smartcast ults in the wrong direction or the fact that I was lagging at 13FPS for the entire match, but after losing that hard with my best champ I didn't even have it in me to stay logged in. I'm all kinds of demoralized. ; ;

I'll definitely check it out! Of the few league ships I have, Garen/Kat is the biggest one. They're the epitome of that warring-nations forbidden love on the surface, and then their interactions throughout the lore depicting them as bitter enemies and sometimes reluctant allies makes for the perfect love/hate ship. I'm far from squeamish, I'm desensitized to everything, haha! Now that I think about it, Talon's a troubled one, and Lux comes from a great family; that makes the dynamic of the ship even better. I think you've got me kickstarted on a fanfiction binge now.

I adore Riven's theme, and how idealistic she is. A Noxian who loves the idea that strength is what matters, but doesn't mindlessly fall in line with the policies and practices of her nation. She's so strong, and even after what she's been through she keeps fighting without once giving in. I adore that. As an ardent lover of Noxus, though, I'm just really glad she didn't wind up allying with Demacia or something after her self-imposed exile. That'd just be tragic. I'm not a fan of her voice either, mainly because her voice actor is the same as Lux's and I'm incredibly biased against anything related to Lux's voice. I do love Riven's lines though!
trkDipset Report | 12/31/2013 5:28 pm
This time Gaia is definitely trolling me, I previewed it to see if it'd all fit and it made it seem like it would. I'm sorry for the constant two-part comments, gaia hates my long-windedness. orz

and in either case all I could do was retrospect on it and beat myself up. Oddly enough, I got better at ADC by not playing the game, much less the role, for a couple months. It's weird, I'm better at it now than I was when I used to practice it all the time. Maybe it's because I've stopped trying so hard to never make a mistake. I agree, we should play together sometime and see if we can't work out a win together! c:

It really is fun. I love analyzing the positioning of the enemy carry and support, judging whether they'll be able to synchronize based on their cooldowns/proximity, deciding that they're vulnerable to either be picked off individually or locked down's like playing the role of the lane's tactician. I actually don't know why people don't play Karma. She's got a great amount of poke with her Q, and if you use your Mantra on your Q you can hit incredibly hard and slow. You can root people in place with your W and heal yourself if you use Mantra on it, and your shield turns into a miniature version of Talisman of Ascension when you use Mantra on it. She's one of those champs who's played as a support due to their utility, but their kit makes them perfectly able to stand alone as a midlaner too (like Zyra). I recommend giving her a go, she's a lot of fun! I used to be extremely anti-Karma because her chanting got on my last nerve, but when I actually played her for the first time I immediately fell in love.

I have such a love/hate relationship with Lux's character; I adore her youthful optimism and her bright disposition (/is shot for horrible light joke), but her voice grates on my nerves. I love her, though, she's so intelligent. I like her shipped with Ezreal; they're both prodigies in their own right. I've never seen her shipped with Noxians, though I think I'd like to. The forbidden love and/or love/hate relationship tension between two people of eternally warring nations is always fascinating to read. I think my favorite lady of league has to be Leona. She's a bulwark of protection, and I adore how strong of a woman she is, donning that armor, taking up the sword and shield, and protecting others with her life. I agree, though, the lore should be expanded to give each champion a more in-depth story that spans more than a couple paragraphs. I've always felt like their lore was a tease, it gave you just enough insight into their character and history to get a general idea of them, but not enough to feel like you know them.

You were right, by the way, back when we were talking about there being a shortage of support players. I've noticed recently that people are a lot more apt to support, and half the time people will even cal the role willingly when there are others available. It's nice to see! It gives me great hope for the teambuilder queue times.