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Cold Hands on a Warm Heart


As I lay still I get uneasy. My heart starts pounding through my chest, trying to escape the firm grasp of my ribs. I'm worried beyond comprehension. Thoughts race through my mind, each one another living hell of what could be. My uneasiness gradually becomes more than just an issue. I try to escape thought, plundering into a world of distractions. I use recreational hobbies to evade my own mind. It's become an addiction, something that shouldn't be so soon.....

The clocks hands spin wildly as I think to myself, another hour gone by that I haven't been with her, another hour past until I get to see her again. It's all too sudden to even think of it as real. My judgment is clouded; reality doesn't kick in until you're hit with the truth, something I didn't want to encounter. It become clear to me though, why I want to be with someone so bad...

She is what every other girl promises they are. She touches with her heart, not with her hands. She is the innocence of beauty. What any boy would dream of. What I could only dream of, wishing I would never have to wake. Her smile is angelic, a gift from god to say the least. Her cold hands pierce the nerves on the ends of my warm fingers, but it just gives me a reason to keep holding on. Her compassion for life moves through me like the blood in my veins. My breathing stops in her embrace, the suffocating is only a sign of how vulnerable I allow myself to be around her. There's nothing more satisfying in the world.

Her goodbye is the saddest promise of them all, the words of sympathy to return to me could be just that, words. The glow in her capricious eyes show her sincerity is real. She'll give me the hope, but it will never come true. I know the feeling all too well, of being alone. It's the bullet through my heart, the barrel of her gun pointed dangerously close to the interior of my warm bleached skin. I would give anything for her to pull the trigger, ridding me of my constant worry. She would never get the chance to hear how dear she is to me, that all it takes is the radiance of her presence to make my heart melt. She would be another fantasy only tangible in my dreams.

There's nothing I can do besides let destiny take its course. So this is why I lay here, irritable and alone. I'll be wanting, wishing, and hoping. The sun has never set so fast. The chimes outside still as the wind calms the trees. I fast myself to the pillow underneath my head, only imagining that when I close my eyes I'll be lucky enough, to be with her again...