Exxos's avatar

Registered: 11/17/2007

Gender: Male

Location: Henderson, Nevada, USA

Birthday: 05/02/1980

Occupation: Lesser Gawd of Awesome and Part-time Hair Slaver in Azerbaijian

Societies Awesome enough to have me as a member of their fold:

Friends, family, and others who can withstand the tumultuous torrents of my awesomeness without long-term mental damage or other breaches of cranial integrity:

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Behold my merry mercantile mores as a merchant in the myriad multitudes of the marketplace:

Exxos' Euphoric Emporium of Effective, Elegant, and Eclectic Everyday Effects.

Please leave your sanity in the marked bin, to your left, before entering.


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Commentaries from the masses:

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Sindeira Report | 03/26/2015 7:01 pm
I'm trying out a hyperbaric chamber and so far the results are nifty. I can't wait to see if it gets any better than this.
AliceLoathesWonderland Report | 03/14/2015 3:08 pm
I basically just play video games now. I dunno man. i'm kinda tired
jellykans Report | 08/03/2014 10:20 pm
It means I gave up.
jellykans Report | 08/03/2014 9:17 pm
*Plops on buns, hands to mouth.*
jellykans Report | 08/03/2014 6:38 am
*Collects pieces in a moist towel...*
jellykans Report | 08/02/2014 4:28 pm
*Pats Exxos' cheek.*
jellykans Report | 08/02/2014 5:03 am
Dang it all! I finished chemo and was having breathing problems, finally figured out was allergies and an antihistimine helped. Was relieved it wasn't anything complicated. You take care!
jellykans Report | 08/01/2014 8:30 am
Saw your status. Dang it!
AliceLoathesWonderland Report | 07/25/2014 11:10 pm
That's great =)
AliceLoathesWonderland Report | 07/25/2014 10:54 pm
Did you buy some nice stuff for yourself?


I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am Lord Exxos of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!

Also, squirrels should not be kept in the pants, for while they provide masterful stimulation, they have teeth with which to bite and claws with which to scratch. Jubjub birds are also out, but you can't wine and dine them into your pants, of course, in the first place, but rather have to pay them directly in unmarked bills. The jubjub bird is the common prostitute of the fictional, avian kingdom!

I have American milk, which is mostly mutant cow semen, hormones, and waste water from faulty nuclear plants mixed with the tears of terrorists and orphans, then just enough Elmer's glue added to make it white again. Also our milk does not come in bags like in Canada or elsewhere, so it does not stay fresh as long. Then again, it also does not burst and leak out all over the fridge because someone smacked a wire rack into it. Americans have no milk discipline! D: We need our milk in armored, plastic battle-jugs! D:

Cerebral ejaculations, brain droppings, and other bits of random thought:

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Superfluous and grandiloquent rantings of an insane, bipedal primate

Whatever I want to say at the time – like a web log, but far less lucid.

Commentaries I have made in the public symposia; AKA, "Look at my post count rising - as a reflection of how I don't know when to shut up!":

Posts per Day: 7.72

Total Posts: 20732

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You botched your blaster roll and take 5D damage to the face!