Exxos

avatar

Registered: 11/17/2007

Gender: Male

Location: Henderson, Nevada, USA

Birthday: 05/02/1980

Occupation: Lesser Gawd of Awesome and Part-time Hair Slaver in Azerbaijian

Societies Awesome enough to have me as a member of their fold:

Friends, family, and others who can withstand the tumultuous torrents of my awesomeness without long-term mental damage or other breaches of cranial integrity:

View All Friends

Behold my merry mercantile mores as a merchant in the myriad multitudes of the marketplace:

Exxos' Euphoric Emporium of Effective, Elegant, and Eclectic Everyday Effects.

Please leave your sanity in the marked bin, to your left, before entering.

Most prices are based on 95% of the average price at the time of listing with a reserve of half that price. Do not send me angry private messages about my prices not being "fair" when they are (at least at the time of posting) based on a modest discount below market average.

 

View Store

 

Commentaries from the masses:

View All Comments

Sindeira Report | 07/06/2016 7:38 pm
Sindeira
Your quick wit, dark sense of humor and creativity would surely wither away. Hold onto this cynicism if not for yourself then at least for me because I wouldn't recognize you without its wickedly vibrant charm. You should really consider writing a Choose Your Own Adventure novel and your very own, twisted take on the Thought of the Day calendar that will make the gamers' toes curl with evil cackles of perverse glee. Seriously, why haven't you done this yet?
Sindeira Report | 06/27/2016 6:57 pm
Sindeira
Laughter cures everything that ails us. It's a freakin' universal cure- all and I invented it. Yes, that's right~! *beams with pride* Laugh for better or for worse and I guarantee that you'll feel a zillion times better. That'll be a penny per snicker, a nickel for every laugh, ten cents for a chuckle, and twenty- five cents for a great big ol' belly- full of laughter please.

A good book is worth its weight in gold. Someone had asked me today if I always had a book with me, to which I immediately told them that of course I do. How could I not? It calms the soul, enriches the mind, and saves one's sanity from pointless moments of disappointment/ irritation and dumb people. There are so many dumb people in this world and they don't seem to be bothered by it.. at all. I cannot understand this bizarre mentality. Can you..?
Sindeira Report | 06/26/2016 7:59 pm
Sindeira
Ear plugs and a freebie/ promotional case that's meant for a tablet have saved my sanity on countless occasions. A paperback novel is as safe as can be and the noise level becomes more tolerable.

This series is truly marvelous and there are entire novels devoted to the explanation of the mythos and overall physics. There is some crazy devotion here and I completely understand why that is.
jellykans Report | 06/23/2016 5:32 pm
jellykans
Damn, Exxos, your life is too exciting!
Sindeira Report | 06/18/2016 7:07 pm
Sindeira
*why don'tcha?
Sindeira Report | 06/18/2016 7:07 pm
Sindeira
Medical bills.. they're so expensive. I still say that you need to become a doctor. You'll be rich!! ..once you pay back all of those student loans, that is.

I bring a book wherever I go. Whether I'm at the doctors' office, the DMV, a restaurant or an airport, I am a- okay. Take a little longer, who don'tcha?
jellykans Report | 06/16/2016 1:14 am
jellykans
Nasty scorpion.
Sindeira Report | 06/15/2016 6:53 pm
Sindeira
*gives you a great big, heaping bowl of yumminess* Calorific healing for the heart and soul are just what those doctors had ordered.

Diagnostic testing should be covered under your medical insurance at a discounted rate and preventative screening should also be provided free of charge. Consult with your general care physician about these matters and listen to his or her recommendations. Let's say that you attain the necessary coverage. Are any of these doctors and specialists nearby? And is there a way to get to and from these appointments? *crosses her fingers and hopes for the best*
Sindeira Report | 05/30/2016 8:07 pm
Sindeira
*takes a slow, deep breath and centers herself* Living in this environment of negativity is exhausting, awful and toxic in every way. Have you gone through the proper channels within the government agencies, to gain the supports that are necessary to move away from there?
Sindeira Report | 05/10/2016 7:02 pm
Sindeira
*huggles the big ol' fluffy tama* Don't believe anything that they say. You're talented, creative, and you have the most wonderful sense of humor. Write down all of those amazing thoughts 'n musings. Perhaps a talent scout will take notice and you can work from home.
 

A CRUDE PASSAGE TO DEFINE THE AWESOME:

I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am Lord Exxos of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!

Also, squirrels should not be kept in the pants, for while they provide masterful stimulation, they have teeth with which to bite and claws with which to scratch. Jubjub birds are also out, but you can't wine and dine them into your pants, of course, in the first place, but rather have to pay them directly in unmarked bills. The jubjub bird is the common prostitute of the fictional, avian kingdom!

I have American milk, which is mostly mutant cow semen, hormones, and waste water from faulty nuclear plants mixed with the tears of terrorists and orphans, then just enough Elmer's glue added to make it white again. Also our milk does not come in bags like in Canada or elsewhere, so it does not stay fresh as long. Then again, it also does not burst and leak out all over the fridge because someone smacked a wire rack into it. Americans have no milk discipline! D: We need our milk in armored, plastic battle-jugs! D:

Cerebral ejaculations, brain droppings, and other bits of random thought:

View Journal

Superfluous and grandiloquent rantings of an insane, bipedal primate

Whatever I want to say at the time – like a web log, but far less lucid.

Commentaries I have made in the public symposia; AKA, "Look at my post count rising - as a reflection of how I don't know when to shut up!":

Posts per Day: 6.43

Total Posts: 20795

Latest Posts

 
picture

You botched your blaster roll and take 5D damage to the face!