Exxos

Exxos's avatar

Registered: 11/17/2007

Gender: Male

Location: Henderson, Nevada, USA

Birthday: 05/02/1980

Occupation: Lesser Gawd of Awesome and Part-time Hair Slaver in Azerbaijian

Societies Awesome enough to have me as a member of their fold:

Friends, family, and others who can withstand the tumultuous torrents of my awesomeness without long-term mental damage or other breaches of cranial integrity:

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Behold my merry mercantile mores as a merchant in the myriad multitudes of the marketplace:

Exxos' Euphoric Emporium of Effective, Elegant, and Eclectic Everyday Effects.

Please leave your sanity in the marked bin, to your left, before entering.

Most prices are based on 95% of the average price at the time of listing with a reserve of half that price. Do not send me angry private messages about my prices not being "fair" when they are (at least at the time of posting) based on a modest discount below market average.

 

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Commentaries from the masses:

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Sindeira Report | 05/20/2017 5:33 am
Sindeira
Your cleverness and wit never fail to amuse me so. Please don't let anything tarnish the beautiful light that you add to the world. If you ever write a book, text for a game or even a brief narrative, you already have a true fan.
Sindeira Report | 05/03/2017 3:22 pm
Sindeira
Drat..! Really, Gaia? Now you send me an alert?

Happy birthday~ happy birthday to you. May all of your enemies fall into a shoe. Your foot goes in, they're all smooshed dead. A joyous day for all.. aside from them. *shrugs and cannot help but chuckle* ..oh, well. They shouldn't have been mean. Hey~ can we smoosh them again? They're only mostly dead. c;
jellykans Report | 05/02/2017 5:40 am
jellykans
O Anxiwnr Onw, May your descent be one of splendor!
jellykans Report | 05/02/2017 12:58 am
jellykans
Happy Birthday!
jellykans Report | 01/23/2017 9:53 am
jellykans
That's great news, Exxos, glad things are going well.
jellykans Report | 01/22/2017 6:23 am
jellykans
Hi! I was offline for a while last year , had 2 back surgeries and then forgot my password, also got locked out of Yahoo after I didn't change my password following their bein hacked. I just got back into my account. How are you?
Sindeira Report | 07/06/2016 7:38 pm
Sindeira
Your quick wit, dark sense of humor and creativity would surely wither away. Hold onto this cynicism if not for yourself then at least for me because I wouldn't recognize you without its wickedly vibrant charm. You should really consider writing a Choose Your Own Adventure novel and your very own, twisted take on the Thought of the Day calendar that will make the gamers' toes curl with evil cackles of perverse glee. Seriously, why haven't you done this yet?
Sindeira Report | 06/27/2016 6:57 pm
Sindeira
Laughter cures everything that ails us. It's a freakin' universal cure- all and I invented it. Yes, that's right~! *beams with pride* Laugh for better or for worse and I guarantee that you'll feel a zillion times better. That'll be a penny per snicker, a nickel for every laugh, ten cents for a chuckle, and twenty- five cents for a great big ol' belly- full of laughter please.

A good book is worth its weight in gold. Someone had asked me today if I always had a book with me, to which I immediately told them that of course I do. How could I not? It calms the soul, enriches the mind, and saves one's sanity from pointless moments of disappointment/ irritation and dumb people. There are so many dumb people in this world and they don't seem to be bothered by it.. at all. I cannot understand this bizarre mentality. Can you..?
Sindeira Report | 06/26/2016 7:59 pm
Sindeira
Ear plugs and a freebie/ promotional case that's meant for a tablet have saved my sanity on countless occasions. A paperback novel is as safe as can be and the noise level becomes more tolerable.

This series is truly marvelous and there are entire novels devoted to the explanation of the mythos and overall physics. There is some crazy devotion here and I completely understand why that is.
jellykans Report | 06/23/2016 5:32 pm
jellykans
Damn, Exxos, your life is too exciting!
 

A CRUDE PASSAGE TO DEFINE THE AWESOME:

I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am Lord Exxos of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!

Also, squirrels should not be kept in the pants, for while they provide masterful stimulation, they have teeth with which to bite and claws with which to scratch. Jubjub birds are also out, but you can't wine and dine them into your pants, of course, in the first place, but rather have to pay them directly in unmarked bills. The jubjub bird is the common prostitute of the fictional, avian kingdom!

I have American milk, which is mostly mutant cow excretions, hormones, and waste water from faulty nuclear plants mixed with the tears of terrorists and orphans, then just enough Elmer's glue added to make it white again. Also our milk does not come in bags like in Canada or elsewhere, so it does not stay fresh as long. Then again, it also does not burst and leak out all over the fridge because someone smacked a wire rack into it. Americans have no milk discipline! D: We need our milk in armored, plastic battle-jugs! D:

Cerebral ejaculations, brain droppings, and other bits of random thought:

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Superfluous and grandiloquent rantings of an insane, bipedal primate

Whatever I want to say at the time – like a web log, but far less lucid.

Commentaries I have made in the public symposia; AKA, "Look at my post count rising - as a reflection of how I don't know when to shut up!":

Posts per Day: 6.00

Total Posts: 20892

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You botched your blaster roll and take 5D damage to the face!