A CRUDE PASSAGE TO DEFINE THE AWESOME:
I am everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. The Alpha and the Potato. I am the one who dwells in the rectum of time and laughs back at you in the darkness for forgetting how to set the timers on small electronics. I am like five batmans, or shall I say batmanæ? I am that mixed with Chuck Norris and a narwhal; a fact you find strangely stimulating to senses you did not know you had! For I am Lord Exxos of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes! Bringer of darkness when it is already dark out! And facilitator of squirrel dancing!
Also, squirrels should not be kept in the pants, for while they provide masterful stimulation, they have teeth with which to bite and claws with which to scratch. Jubjub birds are also out, but you can't wine and dine them into your pants, of course, in the first place, but rather have to pay them directly in unmarked bills. The jubjub bird is the common prostitute of the fictional, avian kingdom!
I have American milk, which is mostly mutant cow excretions, hormones, and waste water from faulty nuclear plants mixed with the tears of terrorists and orphans, then just enough Elmer's glue added to make it white again. Also our milk does not come in bags like in Canada or elsewhere, so it does not stay fresh as long. Then again, it also does not burst and leak out all over the fridge because someone smacked a wire rack into it. Americans have no milk discipline! D: We need our milk in armored, plastic battle-jugs! D:
Cerebral ejaculations, brain droppings, and other bits of random thought:
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Superfluous and grandiloquent rantings of an insane, bipedal primate
Whatever I want to say at the time – like a web log, but far less lucid.
Commentaries from the masses:
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Happy birthday~ happy birthday to you. May all of your enemies fall into a shoe. Your foot goes in, they're all smooshed dead. A joyous day for all.. aside from them. *shrugs and cannot help but chuckle* ..oh, well. They shouldn't have been mean. Hey~ can we smoosh them again? They're only mostly dead. c;
A good book is worth its weight in gold. Someone had asked me today if I always had a book with me, to which I immediately told them that of course I do. How could I not? It calms the soul, enriches the mind, and saves one's sanity from pointless moments of disappointment/ irritation and dumb people. There are so many dumb people in this world and they don't seem to be bothered by it.. at all. I cannot understand this bizarre mentality. Can you..?