I'm not very handsome or clever, or lucid,
I've always been stupid at spelling and numbers.
I've never been much playing football or baseball
Or stickball, or checkers, or marbles, or ping-pong,
I'm usually awful at parties and dances,
I stand like a stick or I cough, or I laugh,
Or I don't bring a present, or I spill the ice cream
Or I get so depressed that I stand and I scream...
Oh, how could there possibly be
One small person as thoroughly, totally, uttlerly
Blah as me.