badass

E= MC Hammer's avatar

Last Login: 09/03/2009 5:43 am

Registered: 06/02/2006

Gender: Male

Location: Space, home of the universe.

Birthday: 11/05/1991

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Posts per Day: 1.50

Total Posts: 4686

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santa
 

this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down

I was an aborted fetus. My mom had my older brother yank me out of her womb with a coat hanger in the basement. Neither of them had the guts to kill me, so they flushed me down the toilet. There I was, a lump of doomed infant, marooned in the sewer. I was marooned because blood and piss together make a dark reddish color. I gradually grew on a diet of scum and human feces until I was old enough to chew. At that point I gnawed my way out of a manhole and wandered the city for thirty seven years searching for my parents and masturbating with a cardboard box. One day after I had just masturbated with a cardboard box, I saw my parents at a computer cafe. I slimed after them but they were lost in the crowd. I knew they'd be back. I swore to never leave that computer cafe until they returned.

buds

 

Comments

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KILAK Report | 03/10/2009 12:23 pm
KILAK
LS ruler of kings says:


what kind of name is merijin anyway


LS ruler of kings says:


what is he a wood elf
Drowzy Report | 11/08/2008 7:26 am
Drowzy
happy birthday
all kwerd Report | 07/22/2007 12:51 am
all kwerd
******** you little b***h i take all your stuff cracka a** b***h
all kwerd Report | 07/08/2007 7:52 am
all kwerd
hey
parapluie` Report | 07/07/2007 6:43 pm
parapluie`
Excuse you. :/
vyf Report | 07/06/2007 9:15 am
vyf
Excuse you. :/
Virgintine Report | 07/06/2007 3:53 am
Virgintine
o u r h o p e . ©



      User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show. Excuse you. :/


      User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.


vyf Report | 06/29/2007 9:16 am
vyf
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
annabis Report | 06/28/2007 6:12 pm
annabis
freak
Saply Report | 06/28/2007 2:43 pm
Saply
lmao

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