i'm sorry that i could be as silly as the others
judging you ugly because of your face
never seeing what is truly beautiful
more often than not, i find myself at a loss for words - but it's not that i have nothing to say so much as i worry too much about what other people think of me. i don't have a firm stance on how i see myself, and because of that my self esteem is always out of whack. i seek reassurance constantly from my peers, but i am still very cautious with what i choose to believe. i am a smorgasbord compiled of everyone that has ever meant anything to me. at the same time, it's hard for me to let people in because i can't stand being vulnerable. i've been hurt one too many times, and while i claim i'm willing to forgive these people, i'm not sure i really have. pretty much more than anything in the world, i want to find someone wonderful but i am always looking in the wrong places pretending the guys i find are right which always ends up hurting me in the end.
i am a girl who has opinions, yet rarely speaks them. i am different, but i am the same as everyone else. i don't let my feelings show because i hide behind a mask. i am afraid to find out who i really am, because it's not the version of me i put on display. even though i am so terribly unsure of myself, i know i'm the kind of person who will always be there when you need me most. i will tell you the truth, and i'm not afraid to make it blunt if that's what you need. i will sit back and listen - really listen, and i'll do my best to offer you any advice i can give. i am willing to look at both sides of a story, even if i don't agree with one. i will help you out in any way i possibly can, to the best of my ability. if given the chance, i will love you unconditionally, flaws and all. if i can't help myself, i can at least help others.
i like listening to all kinds of music - though i tend to stray away from country, thank you, quoting random things from movies and the internet - "mapquest helped me find my grandma's house, jerk!", chatting with people on the internet, texting - a lot, hanging out with my friends, playing the xbox 360 (rock band, woo!), surfing the net, window shopping, playing dress up, taking pictures of just about anything and everything, goofing off with my family, camping, drawing, watching movies and being obnoxious if the theater's fairly empty, singing in the shower and in the car, starbucks - triple grande white mocha and/or grande mint mocha chip frappuchino
i don't like spiders, people who blow stupid things out of proportion (myself included), sometimes being unable to forgive people for things they've done, mushrooms and zucchini, driving in the middle of a storm at night, lying in bed alone, wishing for impossible things, being unable to put my past behind me, people who do drugs and try to convince me to do them too, alcoholics, people who are emotionally unavailable, black coffee, most bugs, when plans are cancelled instead of rain checked, not being confident in myself, admitting my faults, accepting my assets, having to be responsible for myself, being afraid of failure, not knowing who i really am.