Freeman's Mind Quotes
- I don't believe in friends.
- Robots are the only friends I need.
- I just can't believe it. Those monkeys in there are having trouble learning about gravity. Where is I can recite the quantum chromodynamic caginvarent of gonchi in my sleep. There is no justice.
- Looks like I'll have to grab something else for breakfast. Like some oxycodan... I think its time to visit my locker. Get some happy pills and make the politics just go away.
- Everything.... this way. Awesome.
- You know, sometimes I think you guys are robots, just not as cool.
- Its times like this I remember why I became a pyshist. TO SHOW ANTI-MATTER PARTICLES WHOES BOSS. YA!
- This is a bad experiment! We are bad people! Why did we usher forth the green apocolypse?
- Who are you? No, I dunwanna be a scytosfrenic!
- I am captain Gorden Freeman of the intergalactic house of pancakes ordering you to open.
- I hate computers! Why do they always blowup when I try to use them.
- Hey! we really f**ked up this time.
- Don't let it smell your fear.
- 'Don not use elevators'.... oh s**t they weren't kidding.... Sorry, didn't mean to kill you.
- Oh good More blood! Why did that blow up!? Did we wire this place to selfdestruct?
- Escape from techno Hell.
- Where theres a gun theres fun... or not.
- Come on! That thing teleported out of frigin nowhere! Why? I don't even know what this is. Maybe I was hasty it. This could be an ambassador.
- SUCK ON THIS YOU JUMPING BOGERS.
- All aliens are bastards. Especially you. and you. Hold still.
- ANd you! you're the problem. You know how when they say your either part of the help or part of the problem? Well their talking about you. There. Now you're part of the solution.
- What is THAT? It's got tentacles for a face. It's a Cthulhu dog. Well, it's attacking the face huggers; it can't be all bad. I'll just wait until it's done with them and- *coughing* UGH! Tastes like dead caterpillars. Okay, squid head! Say hello to Yog-Sothoth and the Elder Gods for me!
- We're not brave, We're just stupid.
- Huh. We've got so many dead bodies we're hanging them from the ceiling now... And the ceiling eats them. Guess that works.
- Ah! An air vent. Die Hard has shown me the way once again.
- Hey, this is a dead end, AND SO ARE YOU!
- Ah! The hunter spots his prey! He takes aim. CRIKEY! And that's about as close as it gets.
- OK CHILDREN, CLASS IS IN SESSION! EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEAT! I SAID EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEAT! DAMNIT BILLY, THAT MEANS YOU TOO! TAKE YOUR SEAT!
- I need a sword... and a helmet... and a horse. Yeah.
- How did that think know I was here? How many of you ******** are there? Do you want me to individually engrave your names on each of my bullets? Is my gun not personal enough for you? I'll kill every last one of you bastards! All I need are bullets. We have a lot of bullets here! EARTH IS A MINERAL-RICH PLANET! I BET YOURS SUCKS! It's probably a swamp planet with no metal! And if it's not, you belong in a swamp anyways!
- Your like a cat watching a mouse DIE!
- WHY IS THE BUILDING TRYING TO KILL ME!
-Yeah, keep on gargling, I'm reloading.
- Yeah, no s**t, Skippy. I've got more blood on me than an aze murderer. I'd be arrested if I were to a approach a child looking like this!
- OH! AN EXIT SIGN! It's about bloody time. *locked* Okay, remain calm. *hits it with crowbar* Jesus! Ok, we'll take this to the next level. *Shoots glass with gun* What the ********! We installed bullet-proof glass in our exit doors? That stuff's not cheap! How retarded are we? I don't know anymore!
- Im probably carrying a few bloodborn diseases on this suit. Im a wlking CDC nightmare! it makes me wanna hug someone.
- What???!! Are you going to hide in the corner??!!! ARE YOU FIVE YEARS OLD????!!
- Brooahhh! Coffee Coffee Coffee! Coffee! It's not as strong as methamphetamine, but it lest you keep your teeth.
- I bet you eat gerbils. WELL IM NOT A GERBIL!
- Call me Ali Baba. Open sesame!
- YEAH, YEAH kick his a**!! NO! Youre doing it wrong!!
- these things are desinged for oopma loopmas
- MY side is the one filled with hope, love, and submachine guns
- Now I can solve up to 800 problems a minute! The Square Root of 3 by Dave Feinberg
I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed