================================
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz smiled very slowly.
This was done not so much for effect as because he was trying to remember the sequence of muscle movements.
================================
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
================================
For a moment, nothing happened.
Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
================================
The suit into which the man's body had been stuffed looked as if it's only purpose in life was to demonstrate how difficult it was to get this sort of body into a suit.
================================
Arthur:
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.
================================
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
================================
[as the earth is being destroyed]
There was a terribly ghastly silence.
There was a terribly ghastly noise.
There was a terribly ghastly silence.
================================
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in 'It's a nice day', or 'You're very tall', or 'Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright?'.
At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour.
If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up.
After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one.
If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical.
================================
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have.
Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus Ⅴ, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐to‐hand‐combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
================================
Mr Prosser:
Some factual information for you.
Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?
Arthur
How much?
Mr Prosser
None at all.
================================
Ford Prefect:
Time is an illusion.
Lunchtime doubly so.
Arthur:
Very deep, you should send that in to the Reader's Digest.
They've got a page for people like you.
================================
Arthur:
You know, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Ford Prefect:
Why, what did she tell you?
Arthur:
I don't know, I didn't listen.
================================
Arthur:
*looks up*
Ford!
There's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out.
================================
Arthur:
Ford, you're turning into a penguin.
Stop it.
================================
Ford:
But that's not the point!
The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs!
================================
He reached out and pressed an invitingly large red button on a nearby panel.
The panel lit up with the words Please do not press this button again.
================================
Marvin:
All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition.
It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.
================================
Marvin:
Come on, I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge.
Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge.
Call that job satisfaction?
'Cos I don't.
================================
Marvin:
Sorry, did I say something wrong?
Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God I'm so depressed.
Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors.
Life!
Don't talk to me about life.
================================
Zaphod Beeblebrox:
If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
================================
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.
================================
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again.
Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
================================
Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity - distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless.
================================
Arthur:
What's up?
Marvin:
I don't know, I've never been there.
================================
Marvin:
Simple.
I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its [police ship] external computer feed.
I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it.
Ford:
And what happened?
Marvin:
It committed suicide.
================================
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
================================
Zaphod:
Concentrate, on his name.
Arthur:
What is it?
Zaphod:
Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth.
Arthur:
What?
Zaphod:
Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth.
Concentrate!
Arthur:
The Fourth?
Zaphod:
Yeah.
Listen, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third...
Arthur:
What?
Zaphod:
There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.
Now concentrate!
================================
I want to say if you've read all the way down to here, you are awesome and probably a stalker.
I don't like this thing, the font's different :c
Demonic Style 
Quote me for a fast / a response.
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It was my pleasure!
And oh Banana cake - Yum o_o