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Hello, my name is dark pillow, but you may call me pillow for short. :3 I'm studying art, and in my freetime I like to spend time on gaia, play videogames, watch anime or read manga, watch TV-series and drawing.

avi art of me:Thank you for amazing avi art!

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piccolo teacup

Report | 11/14/2015 10:05 am

piccolo teacup

Hmm... well, maybe try to listen to some ASMR (not sure if it works for you, but you could try) or listen some rain? It might help you to sleep again.
I'm like that, when I wake up I can't usually go back to sleep, which is quite bothersome. But if people are trying to sleep they shouldn't be loud! That's disrespectful.
piccolo teacup

Report | 11/14/2015 9:59 am

piccolo teacup

Well, I've tried for years now and my aunt just doesn't seem to WANT to see me differently, I feel like that's the main issue. She just wants to believe whatever she wants to believe...

Yeah, jealousy is indeed bad especially if you act upon it, but what I meant is that you shouldn't feel bad or something for feeling jelly towards other people's lives, if they're better than yours, etc. It's perfectly natural to feel that way and to want the best for yourself, it's all.
Oh yeah, but noisy teenagers will always be annoying I feel. xD Or children...

That's alright, we're all different <o< Not everybody can notice the change and some that do they just don't want to get involved with it. Kind of cold but understandable. I just always had a sense for those things, I can't really explain it...

Haha, don't feel sorry for me! xD I'm alright, lol. It's best this way, less of a hassle really. In this country people are just raised a certain way and there's not many that share the same stuff that I like. Even in personality, most really suck and are just... bland and boring and it's all drama. I'm really done with that sh*t.
Though, I'd be your friend irl any day! *3* I think I already know you enough to be sure I could be your rl friend, without all that bad stuff. :3 You're wayyyy different from any friend irl I ever had. xD
Also, people are stupid for thinking that way. Why would you want so many friends? When you reach a certain number of people I don't think you can be true friends, it will all just end in drama or people will get separated and never speak to each other again anyway, and to me that's not friendship, it's just having acquaintances who you were ok with.
To me it's a lot more worth it to have very few friends and that they're true. :3

Lul, if you say so. ;w; I guess I've been treated as a nuisance so much that I don't even know what to think anymore... I just don't like to bother people, it's all.

Yeah, those "friends" are really annoying... -.- I'm really tired of dealing with that kind of stuff. That's why I love to speak to you, I don't think we criticize each other for having different opinions... do we? o3o'' if I ever did I'm sorry. I think that's how it should be, but people seem to have a hard time accepting others' differences, I suppose.
Not sure why they'd even want others to be and think like them though. xD That'd be pretty boring, all the same.

Aww, I love them! ;v; especially the hippie dude, haha
No no, I draw for that exact reason too, because I love to create stuff... you're right though! I should not feel bad for others' art being better or whatever it is. I guess it's just an unconscious feeling that overcomes you. I don't usually think "omg, I wish I was that good", I simply find myself later in the day feeling depressed, often without knowing the reason why. Only later I realize it might've been because of that. Suffering from depression doesn't really help, because it makes you depressed with almost anything, especially things you probably thrive to be/do.
Thank you though, that made me feel a lot better. <u< Sometimes I feel like you have an old soul... I don't mean old as in you're old xD haha, I mean you sound very wise a lot of the time!! That's a good thing, and I feel proud for having you as a friend. <3
piccolo teacup

Report | 11/13/2015 4:30 pm

piccolo teacup

Sorry for not replying sooner. D: I've been busy and the only times I come on gaia is to get daily rewards and that's it.

Hmm... I guess you're right about the hate thing. Though, you never know, there's a lot of weird and unreasonable people out there. D:
You're right. It is unfair to judge others right away without knowing them, especially if it's mainly based on looks. Unless they totally look super dirty and drugged, I guess it's easier to judge that way... not like you'd dislike them, but you'd probably not want to stay close.
My aunt is like that, she believes I'm one way and doesn't try to know me for who I really am. :/ Which ends up provoking many arguments and misunderstandings. -__-'
People who work and do that with customers for no reason should just be guided better on how to attend customers, it's all. Obviously you can't mistreat customers just because you didn't like their "guts" (even if they didn't act badly in any way) or how they look, that's completely unreasonable.

Depression makes you instantly be jealous of others when their lives seem better than yours. <o< It's natural. Doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. We just all wish for the better, right?

Oh yeah, that's terrible. xD When they don't show emotions and you don't even realize it... but somehow I have a knack to notice when someone's not ok, even if they're trying really hard to hide it. It's known that people who suffer from clinical depression smile and laugh quite a bit among people and seem perfectly fine, when deep down they're not. That's why so many suicides seem "extremely strange" for some people, since they knew them being a cheerful person and didn't know what they were really going through, inside.

Meh, I know those misunderstandings can happen with online friends too, but irl I've had wayyy too many bad friends to give me any desire to try to make friends again, with anyone around here anyway.
I've pretty much lost interest.
I often think about my friends but I don't really contact them much, which I know it sounds pretty stupid. Haha, but I'm exactly the same! I think all of those things way too much for my own good. xD That's why that on Skype I would go online sometimes but I wouldn't comment on the group chat with you guys, because I thought nobody cared if I was gone or not and I just felt I was going to be some kind of nuisance from the past. xD

Sometimes I'm mean in a joke way to my friends, if they know me well, they don't get offended. Unless they're extremely touchy and annoying to deal with. -.-' I'm tired of being friends with people like that though, so I probably wouldn't even be friends with them as soon as I saw they were like that.

And of course I know that, it's a school project. :3 I was just saying. Uhhm, I've been kind of depressed and down as usual. I guess looking at other people's art is not helping, I don't know why I keep doing it... <-<' And you? emotion_bigheart
piccolo teacup

Report | 11/04/2015 4:47 pm

piccolo teacup

Hmm... maybe. Or maybe she did just dislike me for some reason, because she was treating the other customers really well. e-e
That's happened to me more than once, so I wouldn't be surprised. I guess I have a knack for having people hating me for no reason, haha.
It makes you annoyed to see others happy when you're down? <o< Hmm... I guess I can understand the feeling, but usually that only happens to me if I'm passing through something reaaally bad. It's like you feel jealous of their happiness, even unconsciously... It's not like I want to feel that way, I just end up doing.

Yeah, I agree. Sometimes it's a bit difficult to explain right after though, if the person feels really offended and they're the type of just zooming off without wanting to listen to anything else... You're pretty much screwed and made someone hate you. :c
That's happened to me and it's a horrible feeling. You feel hopeless and like you screwed up big time when you didn't mean to at all... maybe that's why I'm kind of scared of having RL friends now. <.< It's too high maintenance I feel.
Unless they're very different from the type of friends I've ever had.

Yeah, I mean, I can insult people if I'm really "into it", like in the heat of the moment, sometimes I come up with something that's like, really good. xD Though, I usually don't offend, my way of "offending" is bringing up the truth about that certain someone and saying they're this and that, etc... That hasn't happened in a long time though, and it's not like I actually enjoy arguing or anything, so I'm good. xD
I'd rather keep peace more than anything. I usually only enter into arguments like that when someone is being unfair/a jerk to someone I like and I know what they're saying is not true, just stuff along those lines.

Yeah, <o< unless it was a super complex and huge dating sim, like an actual anime or something, where there's tons of different positions and expressions and just... a lot for each character, if you get what I mean. It could start normal, then you have many paths to choose from and stuff "evolves" with progress and such. That'd actually be cool but it'd probably be tons of work. o3o That probably already exists... I just don't know of any.
Aeolian Harp

Report | 11/02/2015 3:34 pm

Aeolian Harp

That sounds amazing! For the PC?
FMV (full motion video?) I saw a game recently that was an all FMV detective game and I think it received pretty good reviews.
Aeolian Harp

Report | 11/02/2015 2:41 pm

Aeolian Harp

Yeah true Dx
Adjusting to the new boyfriend as well.. We spend so much time together e-e

Yeah def! Even though I learned piano when I was young and I still have so much to relearn. I can't read music anymore!!
All I know is magic piano and that's just click flashing buttons.

And that sounds amazing!! What are you learning right now?
Aeolian Harp

Report | 11/02/2015 11:58 am

Aeolian Harp

Hi pillow! I've been okay! Busy at work.
I'm taking a day off today because of my eczema. On. My. Face. crying
Rather not scare our clients...

That's true. And there's not that many legit piano apps. I've been looking believe me.

Sorryy I haven't replied sooner. I've been coming on Gaia rarely these days.
How have you been?
piccolo teacup

Report | 11/01/2015 9:05 am

piccolo teacup

Yeah, I don't know, it's weird. :/ Sometimes people hate you for no absolute reason.
I remember this lady in a shop, she'd just give me looks when I was a normal customer like any other, and she was pretty rude and careless when I went to her to pay for the items.
I had never seen her before, I didn't know her from anywhere. xD Weird people.
Weeell~... eh, having a phobia can make you paranoid if it does happen to you... so I guess that's why. I know I'd go completely bonkers.

Me too! D: It sucks saying something that ends up hurting someone you like, when you didn't even mean for it to be hurtful. A lot of the time it's just the wrong usage of words.
Yeah, I think I can only be truly mean to someone I dislike. =u=' And I don't go disliking people just like that, if I don't like someone I usually have a real/good reason to feel that way. xD

Exactly! <o< You don't even make them show that much skin. I mean, if it's a dating sim it needs to be a bit flirty... I don't think anyone can ask for a dating sim and make it like, I don't know, like nothing "special" is going on or whatever.
piccolo teacup

Report | 10/31/2015 6:20 pm

piccolo teacup

Yeah, it will probably never ever change, really. :/ You're right though... it's hard to treat everybody equally, because there's so many different people. Like for example, I can't treat someone who's a total brainless jackass the same way I treat someone super nice and caring... it just won't work.
Yeah, I see being pregnant as having one of those alien worms about to burst out of your insides. xD haha, like in old horror movies.
Though, it's weird... I have a phobia of pregnancies, but only on me, because if I see drawings of pregnant characters I actually think it looks super cute and sweet... I don't even mind drawing it myself.
If I found out I was pregnant, I'd probably freakout so bad I'd try to carve my womb out.... that's how severe my phobia is. -__-' It makes me paranoid.
How does that work though? I like pregnancies on others but it freaks me out if its on me? Uh...

Of course not, but I'd never try to move to a place like that. xD I never really make friends with neighbors anyway. o3o
I'm pretty sure I can be mean too... but it needs to be towards someone I really don't like it. <.< or else I can't. xD

Oh, cmon, she's not that sexualized. =u=' She's pretty innocent in my opinion... compared to the sh*t I draw. xD Why would she have shorts or a shirt if it's gonna be a dating game? o3o each girl should look kind of hot in different ways. She's perfect in my opinion. emotion_yatta
piccolo teacup

Report | 10/31/2015 11:06 am

piccolo teacup

Yeah, you're right. Hm, I just wish there was some way to stop treating genders differently. Everybody should be respected the same regardless of gender. It's sad how that difference still remains.
So would I! xD haha, it scares me to death the thought of getting preggers...

Well, of course. <o< if you live around people you hate you won't be happy, for more wonderful your house may be. I mean't I just want my own place and privacy and life, you know?
My family is not really the best, it's far from it to be honest, so it wouldn't make much difference to move away. It'd actually make me feel free, I think.

Yes!! Uhm... I can be evil too though. I think... xD

Great drawing btw! I love her. She looks so sweet and innocent. >u<


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