Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of itChuck Norris won American Idol using only sign languageDeath once had a near-Chuck Norris experienceChuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cardsWhen the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.Chuck Norris doesn't age. He levels upThe dinosaurs once owed Chuck Norris money. They never paid him backChuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless telephoneWhen Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospitalIf Chuck Norris has 5 dollars and you have 5 dollars, it means, that Chuck has more money than you.