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Chiplette

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Gender: Female

Location: in your heart ❤

Birthday: 04/20

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Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!

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About

Hey there ~
My weird family calls me Ai. Feel free to call me that or Chip if you want. They're a lot easier to say/type. I draw stuff and read manga as a hobby. I love listening to piano solos/covers. They help me relax, concentrate on stuff and I think they kinda help me prevent migraines idk probably. I'd like to think they do.

I don't really talk much. Most of the time I feel like I'm dead LOL
My emotions are almost always pretty mellow but when I find something inspiring I get really fired up! Also, cute and happy music lifts my mood but I try to avoid them unless I'm 100% physically and mentally okay. They usually give me migraines...

Some stuff about me...

..I love rice! Rice gives me energy!! Rice + spaghetti = <3
..I like to have power naps under my table
..Being in a small, enclosed space makes me feel safe
..I like my neighbor's cow. We sometimes stare at each other for over almost an hour...idk it's relaxing.
..I hate sweets. A-little-bit-sweet sweets are okay.
..I think centipedes are an ABOMINATION!! They should be purged away from the face of the earth!

Becoming a better person...

I grew up with a bunch of abusive perfectionists LOL It's not surprising that I end up being so negative about everything. I want to support my bf on his career but my negativity prevents me from doing it. I keep my mouth shut whenever I feel like spouting negativity and say encouraging thoughts when they naturally come out. I'm pretty bad at lying so whenever he's expecting me to say something good and I'm totally blank...waah the silence is just too awkward!! ;A;
I'm not as negative as how I used to which is great! I'm looking forward to the day when I can finally wholeheartedly say and think positively!

Back then, I really believed that I'm stupid, worthless, a big failure, and that I deserved to be punished because of my stupidity. Even now, I still unconsciously abuse/punish myself whenever I make even just a small mistake. But I'm changing and slowly learning how to love myself properly. I try to purposely make mistakes especially through my art. I felt awful at first but it wasn't really that bad. And I learned that I actually like cooking! I used to hate it 'cause, you know, the food was horrible...but not anymore haha!

My mom and her side of the family...well, they have a lot of issues. Particularly my mom. She's the kind of person who would lie about me, mislead other people and make me look bad behind my back just so no one would think badly of her. When I found out about it, I felt so betrayed. I can't even count how many times her siblings lied about me stealing money and destroying stuff just so they could get money from my mom! When I told her all about it, she got so upset and told me I'm a liar, that I should shut up and I'm an embarrassment. I was dejected. I don't want to be a part of anything anymore.

Family, friendship, relationships, the drama, caring for others, being dependent on others...it was all just too troublesome. I used to be hated by my classmates and I was called selfish. I thought what I did was pretty smart but the truth is that I was just really scared of being rejected once I open up. I kinda still have trust issues but I'm working on it right now LOL Sorry for this thoroughly long About Me ;u;

Obviously, my family have a very toxic personality. I used to avoid them as much as I can but ever since I've been practicing mindfulness (even though I'm not good at it LOL I still get carried away sometimes), I learned a lot of stuff about me and other people whenever I'm with them.

People are the way they are now because of past experiences. Turns out, my family experienced the same things that I experienced while growing up. It's just that they aren't aware of it. I've already forgiven them, already got over it and I actually feel a lot better now that I'm not so hateful. BUT I still wouldn't forget the past. What they did was wrong, that's a fact. No one has the right to abuse anyone whatever reasons or excuses they have.

Besides, there's karma. Their fake relationships are being cut off one by one now that there's little money to connect them together. It's sad and I kinda pity them but I believe misfortune humbles people. Whatever problems are thrown at us, we solve it, get through with it, learn from it and become a better person.

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Retired-Knight Report | 11/30/2016 9:48 pm

Sending you that positive vibe! heart W/ever you read this know we miss you Chiplette~

impuuuu Report | 08/15/2016 12:50 am

hi! i saw some freebie art you drew for someone somewhere and just wanted to say i love your art! also nice birthday hehe.

and i read your about me, a lot of times i feel the same way about negativity -^- for me it's easy to think of positive things but hard to really believe them nowadays. i hope things are looking up for you <3

Eufoniius Report | 07/30/2016 1:20 pm