About

I acknowledged my cowardly past
but still don't understand why
I hide my fear behind a hopeful self-image
I've drawn so many skies
my heart must be fleeting out of control
in my dreams I'm flying away from all my fears
these sleeping feelings blossom from inside me and grow
I realize, despite my weakness, as long as you're with me
I can remain strong in this dark world
my heart will dream forever
I want to always be with you
I'll give you everything I have

the tolling of faraway bells
sounded a little lonely to me
so I tried again, even harder
this time flying as high as I could
neither this reality that just keeps repeating itself
nor all my wishes as numerous as the stars
now that I know the future I should strive for
none of them can overcome these feelings I have
an endless world opens up before my eyes
even if it's only a dream
even if I'm still lost, deep in my heart, it's strong
forever and ever it echos
softly, so softly, it shines


call me Twilight, or Twi for short. if you want to know any of my other names, ask me, or make one up.

I am a non-religious Spiritualist. my view of God is smiler to the Iroquois beliefs coupled with Hinduism and Taoism. God is like the equation Zero Divided by Zero Equals the Solution Set Zero, One, and Undefined. God is also like White Light. in Physics, we know that White Light is made of a Spectrum of seven colours (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet). we cannot see these colours until we refract the Light through a prism. similarly, Reality is a Spectrum of God, which we only perceive because we refract the Undefinable God through our Minds. you can't perceive God because to attribute any quality to Him is to only deny him another. God is Everything and Nothing, and all things and nothing are God.

politically, I am Syndicalist, leaning Anarcho-Syndicalist. you could call me a Left-Libertarian. I believe that Confederations and Communes and Tribes are more effective structures of civilization, and Direct Democracy and Worker-Managed Industry make the best government models. personally, I want to live a simple rural agricultural lifestyle with home-grown foods and home-raised livestock.

socially, I am a Tribalist. my friends and family come first, and within that I hold Loyalty in utmost importance. seniority rules can take precedence over a new person very easily. I've never really understood how race or marriage or heritage can be so binding to people. to me, Family is defined by Loyalty and Love and kinship. my Clan is whoever the hell is on my side.

Ethically, I am an Emotivist. I am amoral, but I believe that Enlightened Egoism is the most practical ethical behavior. Benevolence should be one's default behavior, because Humans need eachother to survive. but all that benevolence should be an investment. if it isn't being reciprocated, cease to be generous to the mooch. altruism is ultimately more damaging in the long run, to individuals and communities. the most important thing is to be True to Yourself. in D&D terms, I am most likely Chaotic Neutral with Evil tendencies.

if you wanna know more, talk to me. I love answering questions.


Coco name: Sonja
Goti name: Skottie
Crow name: Norn
Mouse name: Isa
Wolf-Pup Name: Garrow
Ace name: Pepper


My Gaia Sign is Halos for those of you who are wondering, though my first account was sign Arca.

Those born under the Halos constellation are what you might call a goodie-two-shoes. They do their best at everything they do, always wear a smile and negativity never gets them down. They usually obey the rules, which is admirable, but sometimes when the rules ought to be bent or broken, they reveal themselves to be a stick in the mud. They can be incredibly friendly, generous, forgiving, helpful, likable and all-round saint-like, but they can also come across as smug, self satisfied and holier than thou, which won't win them many favours.

Those gaiaborn under the sign of the trunk, the Arca constellation, are capable of staying cool under most pressures, or at least maintaining that illusion. As a friend, they can be incredibly supportive, but as a result of keeping up such a tough, reliable exterior for everyone else, they can often feel empty inside and in need of someone to return the favour. Often loyal and trustworthy, they rarely divulge secrets they've been given, and can keep them locked away inside for as long as necessary. Sadly, they can often be exploited because of their loyalties, which can lead to them feeling worthless, but when freed from the vibes they hop around like there's no tomorrow!






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Japanese Lyrics

Setsunasa no kagiri made dakishimetemo
ii basho made
Itsumademo hitotsu ni wa narenakute
Yasashisa yori fukai basho de
Fureau no wa itami dake
Futari wo musunde kudasai
Bokura wa mou yume wo minai
Tomadoi nagara te wo totte
Zankoki na yoake no hou e arukidasu.
Hontou no kotoba wa kitto hontou no sekai no dokoka
Bokura no mukuchi na yoru ni hisonderu
Ima mo kitto.


English Translation

Even if we embrace until it begins to hurt
until we find where we belong.
we two won't be able to become one.
Even in a place deeper than kindness
touching each other is merely pain.
Please bind us together.
We won't dream anymore
We'll just hold hands hesitantly
and start walking toward a cruel dawn.
True words must be somewhere in the real world
hiding in our nights of silence.
Surely, even now.

Friends

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Comments

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I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 8:28 pm

I Sinistro I

Actually, I don't have a DA, but my girlfriend does! We'll have a look at your stuff! Have you ever thought of getting your stuff out?
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 5:02 pm

I Sinistro I

I remember you were a song writer! I was a song writer myself! I'd love to see what you got now! biggrin the only song writing that I do these days is with my guitar, in my bathroom (the acoustics are better in there lol).
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 3:30 am

I Sinistro I

I like their music now! This is pretty cool! :'D I think I'll listen to this when I shower from now on- I put on Tool usually when I take a shower!

O_O No ******** way. I think if I met Voltaire, I wouldn't know what to say except give them a huge hug, or something. So when was this birthday party? :O What was it like?
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 2:59 am

I Sinistro I

Sometimes I'm not all that great with talking about how I feel, much less describing what I'm feeling, so I let my music do the talking; whether it's just lyrics or the riff- how it sounds- that will let you know what I'm thinking about. Music is just how I communicate, or at least TRY to communicate.

And damn, this is some good music! I like the way it sounds, and just the structure of it makes me happy!
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 2:26 am

I Sinistro I

Omg, right? Music is a great way to show people who you are as a person. And basically tell them what you're about, and what you're going through. I like things like that! :'D
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 2:17 am

I Sinistro I

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!! [Listens]
Circa Survive is another great band I think you might like; Anthony Green's music just makes me so happy. "Sharp Practice" and "On letting go" are songs I think you might like!
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 2:06 am

I Sinistro I

I LOOOOOOOOVE The Birthday Massacre! Chibi's vocals make me happy! :'D Voltaire is pretty killer! Emilie Autumn is good too! But the others I haven't heard of! I'm going to look them up now! biggrin
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 2:01 am

I Sinistro I

Thaaaaaaaaaaat is the best feeling in the world- next to post-coitus.
I also enjoy the Goth / Industrial genre; God Module (Their remake of "A night like this", or whatever. I know it's a remake from The Cure, but their remake makes me SO ******** happy. I shed a tear everytime he says "I want to change".), Suicide Commando is another one I like which I hope you like ("Comatose Delusion" is a GREAT one! I don't recall if it's the Velvet Acid Christ remake or not that I'm thinking of!), Velvet Acid Christ is another good one, Covenant is a good one the club remix of "Call the Ships to port" makes me want to throw a rave in my basement. There's also Noisuf-X! I think you'll like Noisuf-X A LOT! Uhhhhhmmmmm. . . . Android Lust in another one, Incubite ("Collision Course" was my Theme song for a while!), aaaaand there's more but I forget. Rchetype is another good one! ".44 Solution", "Pierce the Heavens", and "Act of Love" are my favourite songs by them! biggrin
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 1:41 am

I Sinistro I

I'm RIDICULOUSLY understanding. I have both my girlfriend, and Tumblr, to Thank for that. XD Like, I know everyone struggles with SOMETHING and so I try to be lenient. But after a while it's like, you can TELL when someone is blatantly ignoring you. And it's like "Ok, PLEASE just be straight forward with me" I'd rather take a full on blow to the jaw than to literally witness you just ignore me / something we're working on together. Just be honest. Just be straight forward. It's all I want. Y'know?

WELL! The bands I've just been going crazy over are The Creepshow ("Run for your life", "You'll come crawling", and "The Garden" wink , Horrorpops ("Ghouls", "Crawl straight home", "Miss Take" wink , Hellcat and The Prowl ("Betty Bones" wink , Big John Bates and The Voodoo dolls ("Aren't you pretty" wink , The Cramps (The song "Let's get ******** up" is HIGHLY recommended!), The Reverend Horton Heat ("Bad Reputation" wink , Black Cat Rebellion (See Profile lol), 7 Shot Screamers ("Take it all" wink , The Chop Tops ("El Diablo" is a great song!), The Gun Club ("Sex beat" is a great song, I think), aaaaaand I really like Tiger Army ("Lunatone" has my heart!). That's all I can think of off the top of my head at the moment, but I'm just crazy about bands like these.
I Sinistro I

Report | 10/11/2014 12:13 am

I Sinistro I

Nooooo, it wasn't aimed at you, to be honest. Things like that are never aimed at you, tbh. Because I know, and understand totally that your life is kinda crazy. I'm well-aware of your situations, and I know that your life hasn't been all that easy so I try to give you A LOT of space.
Like, for the DD (Dear Diary) RP, two people Owe me posts and it's annoying me because so far it's just been Katie and I. I mean, I know why MsGrimm hasn't been posting because she's been in school (she's going to be an elementary school teacher!), and the others it's like?. . . Ok, I get that our lives don't revolve around Gaia or some RPs, but AT LEAST tell me what's going on so that I can give you some time. Y'know? Like, one minute people are like "Oh, I'll get on it- I've got more time now" then in that same breath they say something like "I just gotta do this and this" (basically, the same tired excuses that people use) and I get that people lead some crazy lives- My life has been kinda crazy lately, too. But at least I tell you what's going on, and stuff. Y'know? So, like, while people aren't filling us / me in on what's going on I'm getting a little annoyed because I just want to move the story along. I've been super inspired lately, and it blows that it's just kinda going to waste.

And Thank you! It's a Psychobilly band! I first heard about them from this very nice modern-day-Greaser that I went to high school with! There's a song they used to have up online and I'm glad that I snagged it before the video was taken off of YouTube! XD But, I love the Psychobilly / Punk / Post-Punk genres. I've got a soft spot for bands that utilize the double bass! :'D
I'd be happy to share the bands / music I listen to!

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