My Favorite quotes and stuff
Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?
Teacher: ...
"Di Caprio never died in Titanic, The end scene of Titanic is of him going underwater. The beginning scene of Inception is him waking up on a beach. Its like a movie within a movie"
"Age 1 : Daddy look ! *points to a boy* That's my bestfriend. Dad : Aww, now go have fun ! Age 13 : Dad, see him *points to a boy* That's my bestfriend. Dad : No the hell it's not! *points to geeky girl* That's your new best friend."
"You're lying in bed, using your phone. Then all of a sudden, it decides to ninja backflip out of your hands and attacks your face."
"I keel you!" - classic
"OK, i'm going to admit it. Its been bugging me for about 10 years now and I need to get it off my chest. I let the dogs out."
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"During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
The teacher fainted ...
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and thanks for adding me on ur page!