I was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, I contain bodily many organs which allow me to fly, shoot lasers from my eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. My skin produces a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing me to time travel without damaging my body or the space time continuum.
I attended West Point, where I killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because I was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted me a pardon, and made me Secretary of keeping it real. I was then deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, I stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As I devoured the burrito, I became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with my mind.
As I returned to the United States, I was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of my servants, Adolf Hitler, traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowly destroy the world. I warped back to the past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As I was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in my eyes and ran away to Germany.
the journal of Syrus and other people as well.
wth do I need a description for?
Active Duty Navy - Constantly bored - Probably getting too old for this s**t