AboutLOOK TO TEH RIGHT (Where the Quotes are... up at the top of my profile)... See how important it is... listening... being heard... and how it important it is for ME, to listen to you... if anyone here wants someone to talk to. I am here, to listen.
I would be helping people psychologically for free if I had the choice (that is, in the future, when I get my PhD and/or MD in Psychology/Psychiatry. I can "help" you now, today, right now! biggrin ). I love people (Really I do! I love you, the person who is reading this), no matter if they are seen as "assholes," and "jerks" or "sluts" and "gays". They all have their reasons, people. You just have to understand them...
There is an online E-Mail Encounter group that of which I am apart. The group offers a resource for you to discuss both personal and professional matters freely. It is based upon individuals who, like me, believe and practice in the person-centered theory / approach. I believe some of the people there do hold doctoral degrees in Psychology; mentioning this if you feel the need for credence; people who you feel are 'competent'. If you would like to have such a loving, accepting, caring, and wonderful relationship such as that with me or others, please contact me for more details! There is also a Skype group that meets every Thursday (so if you would like to have a relationship in which you can feel free and able to be you... you can join in with me video chat with others!). It is kind of like a therapeutic session... not a therapy session! But with people being people... just offering person-centeredness for you!; so, if you like details for that as well, just let me know!
OMG YES!! Check this band out! Pornstone! Their album: I Give Myself (2006)! [/******** awesome! Yes, they sound like KoRn... yet I find they are their OWN KoRn! Who the hell else can pull that off so candidly? Also, the band Maja does this very well (;. Here is Pornstone's music:
See for yourself how awesome Pornstone is! If you do not like screamo vocals (they don't do it too much though! Don't worry!), you can check out these songs first:
"For Mother" is an amazingly beautiful song.. wow. Just wow. It's like KoRn but in a much more respectful, modeling vibe, you know? xD amazing! Like I said, pornstone is their own korn!
"Wish You To Stay"
"Away From You"
Here, a poem. Read it: Pretty much my most 'prestigious' poem right now... wrote it in a time of absolute turmoil... I write the best stuff spontaneously -- a flow of consciousness style -- because when I am emotional I express best what I want -- or even need -- to write. Even rationally it works for me. Now, after reading this, feel free to ask what I was going through. I don't mind xD if such an experience produces a work such as this... I really do not mind. No shame.
The one who suffers suffuses superlative seduction,
Of whose subterfuge does salinity and subduction,
Ever so ratify itself without sanity so salacious;
If so much as it is seditious.
Troublesome, turmoil yet suspicious serenity,
Of what such sordid senility,
May I have to this shallow asininity?
You know… I am not going to have all that enormous amount of information clog up my About Me… and not because I am dissatisfied with people’s reaction of it… but because I am dissatisfied with it myself… Entirely… I care mostly, in my life, about other people, about you, who may be reading this… suffice it to say, I feel that perhaps some of my own writings may express this care, concern, and compassion I would have for you in a way that I hope will feel and seem more enjoyable and entertaining… I hope it will not be what one would consider a ‘dragging task’ for you:
Written, midnight, 10/21/14:
Tears and movies… perhaps they seem to be a lachrymose phenomenon… to weep, to cry, and to wail: such is the process of melancholy, of suffering, of torment. These painful and hurtful creations are valuable… irreplaceable; irrevocable. When spoken, these creations are given transcendent beauty: eloquence and aesthetic; radiance and decadence. When heard, these creations are given appreciation: cherishment and indulgence; enlightenment and effulgence.
When I watch a movie, feeling as fully as I feel myself nowadays, I cry very easily. I am very much lachrymose. I do not, however, attribute movies as being lachrymose because of my own accord. No. I believe they are very poignant. Each of them, are as palpable and powerful as the next movie. All it takes is the acumen, the insight, the depth, to perceive and receive fully the feelings, emotions, and thoughts of each and every major character. I cry probably, currently, an approximate 3-4 times each movie. I even have cried on a Harry Potter movie! A HARRY POTTER movie for Chrissake! A Harry Movie is, I do not think, intended to be an emotional or tear inducing movie. However, it is not the movie itself that elicited such tears from me. No. It was the characters… the people, ‘fictional’ or not. While a person depicted in a movie may seem fictitious and fabricated to you, their feelings and emotions should seem as real to you as your own.
Does ‘Magic’ exist? I believe that it does. What is it? How do we use it? Where is it? Why does it exist?
It is Empathy. It would seem as though it is ‘Magic’ to most people, as people rarely have the chance to receive empathy let alone give it to someone else. Empathy is also seemingly barely unheard among people in general. Empathy is a mystical concept to people who with it first encounter. Empathy is somehow, someway, undervalued over other approaches such as ‘giving sympathy’, giving advice and other approaches that emphasis a sort of selfish, controlling, dehumanizing affect. Empathy does indeed seem to be magic, as its effects are remarkable. Yet I would not say that it is magic, but magical: for empathy is not spirituality, or a mystic. It is certainly something that you have to see to believe, and to also believe to see. When given or received to and from somebody, it is a gift… a gift… by us, from us, simply being human… it is a gift to be cherished and to be desired; it is a gift to be appreciated, not debased.
Again, empathy has remarkable effects, and so I believe it is magical and ‘magic’ to allude to Harry Potter. I imagine thusly being with Ron as he learned of his Sister’s tragedy… I imagine being with him, empathizing with him… telling him how I feel him to be as he feels himself… I would delve and plunge into his world, knowing that I can really be with him, to cry with him. I imagine him becoming more attuned to his inner feelings and emotions, becoming more and more of his ‘full’ self. I imagine him being ever grateful for having such an experience… and wishing for more like those to happen. I imagine him… ‘Becoming a Person’.
Movies I have watched recently. Please, watch them with me! biggrin :
Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets: When Ron Weasley heard from one of the people of staff at Hogwartz say that the writing on the wall from the Heir of Syltherin was ‘Ginny’s skeleton will lie in the Chamber of Secrets Forever’, he collapsed… inside. I cried with Ron. I imagined so deeply his pain and misery and suffering in that moment: I cried... I cried, knowing, feeling, being, Ron's reaction... Ron himself... to him, I felt an 'unspeakable terror being spoken... something I would have imagined would never happen and now has... someone I love, someone I care about... taken... stolen... life reaped out of her... I am conflicted on how I with myself... without her in my world anymore... I would have never imagined this....' and that, is what I felt from Ron.... Of course there may be a deeper scope of thoughts, emotions, and feelings pulsating within... yet this are the essence of what I felt.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerers’ Stone: When Harry looked at his picture of his parents… again, I felt deeply… I imagined the joy and happiness of his parents within the picture… their smiles, their dancing, and their celebration… their togetherness… I imagined the yearning in Harry’s mind… the dreaming of being together with them… acknowledging two conflicting thoughts within his mind: that ‘it may be possible to bring my parents back… I want to believe this is possible! I just want to be with them!’ and ‘no… it is not possible… they are dead… deceased… they can’t be brought back, they just can’t! That would be insane!’ and this terrible conflict tearing at Harry… wanting and knowing that he can be with them somehow – and not knowing this way -- , and yet at the same time thinking that he cannot…
One of my own learning’s about being so accepting and open and attitudinally loving about people is from watching movies or learning directly from a person with whom I am not yet familiar. Movies provide this acumen into a person’s life in which we seem to feel and perceive their reality as it seems to him or her… and yet we do not really know this person, nor is this person considered ‘real’; yet the feelings and emotions of this person or ‘character’ are as real as they seem. I find this learning has given me much openness to experience with people, even persons who have committed crime, such as murder, theft, destruction, and supremely dangerous and harmful acts. Many people would not be so accepting and nonjudgmental towards such a person, and yet it is this mistrust that will so lead unto further destruction. Imagine, if you will, for at least a second, how alienated, shunned, dazed and confused, vulnerable, and desperate they must feel? (I have this consideration from a book… just read the introduction: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/empathy-r-c-horsch/1118865735?ean=9781492890553.) I would find that, initially, given that people witness or observe a film or learning about an unknown person’s life, a person upon this learning would seem and feel that, ‘This person seems to matter to someone else… this person is important to someone else other than me… … I may not feel this person as important to me… but this person is certainly important to someone else…’, and having gone through this process myself, I have come to an inward conclusion: ‘And this importance of this person being important to someone else… this person thus becomes important to me, and so to the dearest importance becomes his story and his life and his value as a human being… such that I begin to love to learn about him or her, and *to* love him or her; want to know him or her; and want to know what it is like to experience such a different reality from my own… In essence, I want to *be* with him or her.’ I would hope this conclusion happens upon other individuals as well, for such a caring and loving attitude can create an atmosphere in which safety, growth, warmth, development, care, love, and similar elements can occur and foster. And this unconditional positive regard attitude (an acceptance of a person no matter what [this doesn’t necessarily mean behaviors!]) I have for people (Carl Rogers) is not without basis; I have learned this from the aforementioned person… Carl Rogers and his humanistic / Person-Centered Theory and how wonderful it is to just simply be ourselves… to be nonjudgmental, acceptant, loving without conditions, and empathetic.
I have come to find that, many people may not be so trusting of others because they are more inwards than outwards… and by that I mean there is a feeling of uncertainty and curiosity… think about the person who would like to trust you and know you, but cannot; they feel that you would better know them incrementally, and that they are unsure about knowing you; unsure of whether to trust you or not… or even, whether they feel *you* can trust them. In one sense, I think of a person as letting someone in to their stronghold, their sanctuary, their abode… instead, they trust someone to be with them in their seemingly sturdy walls… they fear that if they exit, they may be exposed and vulnerable: this inwardly safety that they feel they are living in, will seem to be merely existing instead; it will not seem as potent and secure as before – not as vivacious, instead, vapid yet present, perhaps – , and their safety will be replaced by vulnerability and a desire and need for refuge in another person’s shelter. If someone really is mistrusting of people entering into their world… you may find a need to exit your own barriers… expose yourself and let yourself free, even for a moment, so that they may feel more at ease about letting themselves out too… or you, in. To let this person allow themselves to exit their stronghold, vulnerable and exposed openly, and to then allow this person to enter *your* stronghold, which is still seemingly secure and kept, is to really secure trust between two persons. To be so revealing to another is not only to trust in this other person… but to trust in you to do so. You are a unique human being, I accept you as you are, and I would love and enjoy seeing this as you would reveal your ‘real’ self.
<3 GIRL POWER! <3
What do I do?
- Listen to music
- Play Ultimate Frisbee (I am on the team and club)
- Play Basketball (On my spare time)
- Read (Tons of textbooks [especially psychology]; maybe a few novels (50 Shades... lol, or some better BDSM porn >.> wink ;
- Cook and bake food! It is very fun and satisfying for me! I love cooking and baking! biggrin .
- Watch Movies on Netflix. I especially love to watch Psychological Thrillers (What a surprise, right?), Military Dramas / Movies, Action and Adventure, and... that's about it! I cannot bring my to watch supernatural / horror movies. ******** that s**t. That is one thing I cannot do for you if you were to ask me >.< I am sorry! Let's watch a movie together sometime! (:
- Participate and am involved in an online E-mail Encounter Group for Person-Centered Relationships. This group offers the core conditions believed to be in a helping psychological relationship. Again, if you would like details on how to join this group, please contact me.
- Write (I write a lot of rhyming poems; I have written a few psychology articles; and I have also written a few short stories. I am also writing a 40 and counting page paper on labels and titles and what observable effect they have on relationships.)
- Watch YouTube Videogame Commentaries: (From people such as SSoHPKC [my favorite!], UberHaxorNova, Sp00nerism, and... that's about it!)
- Study vocabulary: Yes, I ******** sit down and study vocabulary for hours. Believe that s**t!
- Practice Sarcasm on a regular basis. Yes because sarcasm needs to be practiced...
- Help others (Psychologically, that is. I don't quite offer advice though, or claim to think that I know everything and can help you. The thing is, with my approach, and rather in general, helps yourself by helping me help you. It's all about this component called, "Empathy." It's as simple as that (; it also comes from the highly regarded Carl R. Rogers, with his approach called "Person-Centered Therapy".)
- Am in Girls' club: Ain't that a surprise, eh? Yeah, I'm in it, and yeah males are allowed into the club, lol. The best way I can explain this to you is, the difference in wording: A club for girls, or, a club with girls? Eh, either way, at least I am a guy who is passionate and eager to help support girls in their endeavors.
- Am in Literary Criticism: This is a UIL (University Interscholastic League) group which seeks to study and analyze many literary works of the British and American authors.
- Take Free Online College Courses from Edx.org. It is a fantastic site that offers the best courses from the most prestigious universities! I am taking or have taken: Health And Society; Jazz Appreciation; Was Alexander Great; Public Speaking.
As far as I am concerned, I cannot yet, of course, intervene for people with psychotherapy or psychiatric drugs… and it really touches me to my core knowing this: that I cannot help you at all in preventing you from being in malpractice… sometimes, what we may believe is the most rational choice, may not be the most humane one. A movie I have watched that I have found very informative, satirical, and accurate about Psychiatry, the profession and, in general, its people, is entitled ‘Side Effects’. These two books: "Toxic Psychiatry: Why Therapy, Empathy and Love Must Replace the Drugs, Electroshock, and Biochemical Theories of the "New Psychiatry" by Peter R. Breggin, M.D. (Psychiatry), and "Anatomy of An Epidemic" by Robert Whitaker M.D. (Psychiatry). These books discuss real people, undergoing the horrors, dangers, fatalities, epidemics, propaganda, corruption, malpractice and the like that Psychiatry can bring! The dangers of psychiatry are real and present. Here also, is a website, offered generously for public use, allowing us to view Peter R. Breggin’s endeavors: http://breggin.com/.
This is all I can offer you at this time… -sigh- as you are in control in your own lives (and you still would be, even if I were a professional)… I do sincerely hope, though, that you will take advantage of these resources… I just hope that I am at least helping some people in living their lives more fully and humanistically along the way.
What do I listen to?
Nu-Metal for the most part, and Jazz, Funk, and Country!
*In Bold are ones that I find particularly heavy, talented, and just simply amazing! *
Note: For those of you who want to listen to more songs by these underground/underrated bands, there are least two sites that I know of (that are safe) which will allow you to search for music, especially by bands that aren't really 'out there', such as these. Rdio.com and grooveshark.com are the sites I use to listen to these bands songs (if I cannot find them on YouTube.) ALSO, If you like these bands music, PLEASE purchase their songs/albums! It helps support them, even if they are disbanded, and allows you to have a copy of your own. For instance, FuryKane released their newest album just a while ago, they probably need all the money they can get!! Also, if you are looking for more places to find this underrated nu-metal music (mainly), check out these people on YouTube: Amenitysound, Ramadearbol666, Rareziez, Urbanqore, CrisisGhostt, conspiracy2terminate, and Melnixniper. Lastly, there is an app called 'TuneIn Radio' for smartphones, or just an app in general, and on there is a 'nu-metal- radio station. I hope all of this can help equip you towards your journey into Nu-Metal (;
Who Do I listen to?
KoRn - They are accredited as having invented the genre of Nu-metal, starting in 1994. And well... Korn: nuff' said!
Pornstone - Instantly became my second favorite band after I heard more of their songs... Pornstone are their OWN KoRn. That is intense skill to sound like a different KoRn! Like... KoRn... but not KoRn... if you do not get what I mean, check out Flymore. Flymore sounds almost like KoRn, but not in their own, original way. I don't mind... just pointing that out. I love Flymore!
Maja - Korn sounding band. Nuff' said: ******** yes! Full album on YouTube.
FuryKane - Female-Fronted French nu-metal band! After listening to a few of their songs... I was absolutely hooked! To me, they sound like a mix of Brian Head Welch's "Love and Death" and, at times, Jonathan Davis vocals. Their Albums "FuryKane" (2013), and "FaKe" (2011) are released and able to be bought. You may find some of their songs on YouTube, or, you can find their songs on a site called grooveshark.com -- it is safe, I've been listening to songs on here for quite a while now.
LevelC - ALL-FEMALE THRASH METAL BAND!! Although I put them in a nu-metal video, they are more thrashy. Quite honestly, no words can really be spoken for them, and by that I mean: THEY ARE ******** AWESOME! Wow.. the power they put into their music! Girls! You kick a**! Probably even more than guys! You can their ONLY album "Levelc" (by the girls) on a site called 'Rdio.com' -- this is safe as well, all you have to do is sign in with your e-mail or facebook or create another account, and there you go!
Drain STH - ALL-FEMALE Metal Band! A lot of people regard this band as sounding like "Alice in Chains", as if they were a female Alice In Chains (which is ******** awesome sounding! (; ), and I agree! You can find their songs on YouTube or go to grooveshark.com.
Dirty Shirt - Nu-Metal band. ******** awesome. You can find their songs and their newest album on YouTube.
Wicked Wisdom - Female-Fronted Nu-Metal band. You can find the band's songs on YouTube.
Kittie - This is an ALL-FEMALE (Nu) Metal band! What is cooler than that!? ;D. Their albums are on Youtube... they have, however, deviated from the Nu-Metal genre and have taken onto death metal and a more... (in my opinion) "eh...." sound. Their ONLY Nu-Metal album is "Spit (1999)". The rest are... :/... not so clean vocals. People consider this album with the band to be like a "Female version of KoRn". Especially their songs "Suck, Trippin, Raven [ESPECIALLY RAVEN LIKE O...M....G... DOSE RIFFS], Get Off, and Choke".
Flymore - This band sounds just like KoRn! They are from Russia, and they formed their band in honor of the genre of nu-metal and KoRn! Totally check them out! They are on YouTube (:
E-Town Concrete - Well, New Jersey pride. I'm not from there, but a person who I had a very special and connective relationship with is from there, and with their one song "So Many Nights (Acoustic)" I feel resonates what it means to come from hardship and live in an environment that is in New Jersey.
Captor - These guys started out as a death metal band, actually, and then in 2003 released their album "Alien SIx" which they have stated as being "Very KoRn influenced". I have their entire album downloaded from a site called Iomio. You can find previews of each song there, so you can see if you want the album. Otherwise, there are some of their songs on YouTube.. This album and this band... they sound like they are AS talented as Korn themselves, and I believe they would of been popular had they gotten more attention.
Seep - Their album is uploaded on Youtube, thankfully. Their album "Simon Says" sounds like it's inherently KoRn influenced. You can tell by the guitar riffs, vocals, lyrics, and overall tone.
Stomped - Their album is also uploaded on Youtube. They have released two albums, "Dawn Upon You", and "Opening Statement".
Slaves On Dope - Their album too is uploaded on YouTube, called "Inches From The Mainline".
Juice - Juice's songs are uploaded on Youtube. JUICE is actually considered to be PRE-ADEMA. PRE-KORN would be Jonathan Davis from "Sexart" and rest of the band members from "Creep". Jonathan, however, perhaps learned of his vocal style from the singer of Juice.
Gazzoleen - This band also totally sounds like KoRn (; and they pull it off very well.
Cheesy - This band sounds extremely talented and their album, "Beg" is uploaded on YouTube.
Jerk - This band is also very talented.
Coalest - This band has a Slipknot sound to them.
Coal Chamber - This band has been compared to KoRn in their sound, just a more melodic and deep sound. Their albums are on YouTube.
Vampires On Tomato Juice, and Viza - Well... I don't know if these two bands are Nu Metal necessarily, but I really do enjoy their sound! These two bands are also very talented.