My name is Ada, and I'm fat. Now, before you start telling me I'm disgusting, I want you to know that I do not accept insults from people who have not left their parents' basement in a month, and who probably take a shower once a week, and use only two pairs of underwear a month.
I am an advertising student. I love watching commercials and seeing how brainwashed all you idiots are by the lies on tv. It makes me laugh. I hate psych majors, because they are the most brainwashed of anyone.
I hate the mental health system. It's a scam trying to sell me drugs which will put me in a state where I cannot function without them. They brainwash their victims telling them they're crazy, when they are not. You can't consume nothing but Coke Zero, cookies, and bread and expect to feel good. But will those psychiatrist ever tell you the reason you're depressed is because you aren't eating vegetables and meat? No, because there is no money in that.
I like soap. I like lathering it all over my rolls of fat. It makes me feel sexy, and beautiful, and it makes my skin so smooth. Most of you should take a lesson from me, because I'm pretty sure you don't know the difference between exfoliating body wash and hydrating body wash.
I eat meat. I think vegans are idiot. If you are so pretentious, petty, and arrogant that you cannot even let yourself indulge on a succulent rack of ribs, then I have no time for you. And after I'm done licking that delicious barbecue sauce off my lips and my fingers, I like to wash myself with soap.
I just recently purchased on of those No-Touch machines. When i saw the commercial for that I . . .oh my god. . .I can't even explain it. I was crying tears of joy. Because it is a real pain when I get my soap bottles dirty from the dirt I am trying to wash off. Most of you wouldn't understand, because you're all dirty.
I like dressing in sexy clothes, showing off my lusciously, smooth skin, which is so smooth from all the soap I use.
I like being clean. Some people smell like cat urine. I do not associate myself with such people. If you cannot even bathe regularly, I have no need for neither your company nor your opinion.
I have a very big underwear collection. Some people ask me why I have so many pairs of underwear? And I tell them it's because I don't want to be dirty like them. Most of you, I assume, go through two to three pairs of underwear a week, and that is disgusting. I would hate to see the fungi you've got growing on your buttocks and genitalia.
I take a bath when I wake up in the morning to wash off my morning sweat. Then I take another before I go to bed to wash off my day sweat.
I am clean. Some people tell me I have a problem. I tell them I care about myself enough to not smell like the inside of a litter box.