My name is Ada, and I'm fat. Now, before you start telling me I'm disgusting, I want you to know that I do not accept insults from people who have not left their parents' basement in a month, and who probably take a shower once a week, and use only two pairs of underwear a month.
I am an advertising student. I love watching commercials and seeing how brainwashed all you idiots are by the lies on tv. It makes me laugh.
I like soap. I like lathering it all over my rolls of fat. It makes me feel sexy, and beautiful, and it makes my skin so smooth. Most of you should take a lesson from me, because I'm pretty sure you don't know the difference between exfoliating body wash and hydrating body wash.
I eat meat. I think vegans are idiot. If you are so pretentious, petty, and arrogant that you cannot even let yourself indulge on a succulent rack of ribs, then I have no time for you. And after I'm done licking that delicious barbecue sauce off my lips and my fingers, I like to wash myself with soap.
I just recently purchased on of those No-Touch machines. When i saw the commercial for that I . . .oh my god. . .I can't even explain it. I was crying tears of joy. Because it is a real pain when I get my soap bottles dirty from the dirt I am trying to wash off. Most of you wouldn't understand, because you're all dirty.
I like dressing in sexy clothes, showing off my lusciously, smooth skin, which is so smooth from all the soap I use.
I like being clean. Some people smell like cat urine. I do not associate myself with such people. If you cannot even bathe regularly, I have no need for neither your company nor your opinion.
I have a very big underwear collection. Some people ask me why I have so many pairs of underwear? And I tell them it's because I don't want to be dirty like them. Most of you, I assume, go through two to three pairs of underwear a week, and that is disgusting. I would hate to see the fungi you've got growing on your buttocks and genitalia.
I take a bath when I wake up in the morning to wash off my morning sweat. Then I take another before I go to bed to wash off my day sweat.
I am clean. Some people tell me I have a problem. I tell them I care about myself enough to not smell like the inside of a litter box.