Gir: I love this show!
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Gir: Tell me a story about giant pigs!
Zim: Come, GIR. Let us rain some doom down upon the heads of our doomed enemies.
Gir: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now.
Gir: Doom doom doom...
Dib: My head's not big! Why does everyone say that?
Zim: Good question. I don't care!
[a mystic escape portal is in Dib's own forehead]
Zim: There! That should be wide enough.
Dib: What about me? How do I get back?
Zim: Good question! BUT I DON'T CARE!
Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?
Zim: What are you watching?
Gir: Angry monkey.
Zim: That horrible monkey!
The Letter M: What's wrong with you? All you talk about is aliens and ghosts and seeing Bigfoot in your garage!
Dib: He was using the belt sander...
[GIR is disguised as a government agent]
Gir: I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me.
[Zim's telescope is malfunctioning]
Zim: Gir! Come to the observatory!
[Gir's head pops out of ceiling]
Zim: What have you done to the telescope?
Zim: You haven't touched it? Something is broken and it's not your fault?
Gir: I know, I'm scared too!
Gir: Awww... I wanted to explode.
Gir: Somebody needs a hug!
Dib: [gasping] Sorry I'm late... horrible... nightmare visions!
Ms. Bitters: It's called life, Dib. Now sit down.
Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
Gaz: [to Dib] All I wanted was to have some pizza, hang out with dad, and not let your weirdness mess up my day!
Gir: [disguised as a dog] MEOW!
Zim: Be gone with you! I've had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with... corn!
Dib: But I haven't been eating corn
Zim: [shouts] Liar!
Zim: Curse you snacks! Curse yooooooou!
Gaz: Why do you have to have a head?
Zim: GIR! Unleash the monkey!
Zim: [over video link] Soon, I'll bring the Tallest here to witness my ingenius evil! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! HAAH! I said evil! AHAHAHAA!
Professor Membrane: [from basement] Son, there'd better not be any walking dead up there!
Dib: It's nothing to worry about, Dad! And I said I was sorry about that!
Zim: My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!
Almighty Tallest Red: I was waiting to see when you would shut up on your own, but it's been three hours, Zim. THREE HOURS! What do you want?
Zim: Well, I noticed you're moving closer to the Earth than *ever* before!
Almighty Tallest Red: How would you know that?
Zim: Oh I know all kinds of theings about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...
Almighty Tallest Purple: Hey!... That *is* creepy! You're creepy, Zim.
Zim: You're nothing Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!
Dib: Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Zim: GIR! What are you doing?
Gir: I made mashed po-ta-toes!
Zim: Yes... and muffins...
Zim: Ha! Watch Dib! Watch as I bring a royal audience to the downfall of the human race!
Dib: I don't wanna watch that.
Zim: Oh. Ok... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!
Zim: [looking over the town for a telescope he can use] There's one, but it belongs to the Dib human.
Gir: So? He seems nice!
Gir: [five minutes after eating it, crying] I miss my cupcake.
Dib: Ms. Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks at nose] Pretty far.
Dib: There are many mysteries still unsolved. I figure, you know... I'll do some of that.
Zim: You expect me to pay to ride this filthy contraption? Have you the brain worms?
Dib: [commenting on his teacher, Ms. Bitters] Someone said she's existed from time immemorial and they just built the school around her.
[at the North Pole]
Elves: [singing] Bow down... bow down... before the power of Santa! Or be crushed... be crushed... by his jolly boots of doom!
Zim: Shut your noise tube, Taco Human!
Zim: Oh, such tacos will I give!
Zim: It's over, Tak! The Earth is mine to devastate... and I already promised the moon to GIR.
Zim: I put a tracking device on you.
Dib: You did? Where is it?
[GIR is grabbing the back of his head]
Gir: Your head smells like a puppy!
Dib: You're just jealous...
Zim: This has nothing to do with jelly!
Gir: CHICKEN! I'm gonna eat you!
[Zim stuffs a globe into a goldfish bowl, goldfish is crushed against side of bowl]
Zim: Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest Gir?
Gir: I'm gonna eat that fish.
Zim: No, Gir. The fish is part of the plan.
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Gir: I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a while. KAY?
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Almighty Tallest Red: So, you're saying the humans are dumb, yet... tall. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? How can anything tall be dumb?
Almighty Tallest Purple: [With his mouth full] Yeah, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can you imagine, huh? Huh? Huh?
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Tak: The great thing about your people Dib is that, most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture! Not a plan for world conquest!
Dib: Wait, is there really a difference?
Zim: They locked down their fortress - with locks!
Zim: Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?
Dib: Yes it is, Zim! It fell fro...
Zim: Isn't it?
Dib: I said it was! Man, Zim, you have a problem with listening.
Zim: ISN'T IT?
Zim: Zim... You're alive?
Zim: So very alive. And filled with goo! *Mission* goo!
GIR: Aww, but I wanna watch the Scary Monkey Show!
[Carrying a large, bewildered pig over his head]
GIR: Let's go to my room, pig!
[Drawing a pig]
Gaz: The pig... COMMANDS ME!
Almighty Tallest Red: Fire some kinda laser... thingie at 'em; RIGHT NOW!
[Zim has sent GIR to attack Dib. GIR is poking at his controls making him spin in circles. An alarm that sounds like a car alarm]
Zim: [to self] Hmm, maybe he's not such a bad evil minion after all.
Dib: [to gir] Hey! Go away!
GIR: Okey dokey!
Zim: [Zim kicks open the classroom door after a bathroom break] My business is done!
Dib: [suspiciously] Who takes three hours to go to the bathroom *before* lunch, Zim?
Zim: Nonsense! I had much to do! SO MUCH!
Zim: Prepare your bladder for imminent release!
Zim: What *is* our mission, GIR?
Gir: Blend in with the indigenous life, analyze their weaknesses, prepare the planet fo the coming madness, yay!
Gir: Hi floor! Make me a sandwich!
Gir: Your methods are stupid; your progress has been stupid; your
GIR: Lets make biscuits! LETS MAKE BISCUITS!
Gir: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom
[Screen goes black and then displays a message: Six Months Later]
Gir: Doom doom doom doom doomy doomy doom doomy doom doom doom doom doom doom doom
Zim: Gir, would you please stop singing?
Zim: GIR stop that singing!
[a kid gets hit by a kickball]
Kid: Ow, my organs!
Zim: Buahahaha. Inferior human organs!
[Zim gets hit by the ball]
Zim: Boh! My squeedily spooch!
Zim: You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!
[inventorying equipment, looking at SIRs]
Almighty Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR units. HEY! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these could really get hurt!
Almighty Tallest Purple: Send them to Zim!
Almighty Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll DESTROY him!
Almighty Tallest Purple, Almighty Tallest Red: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Almighty Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat food!
Dib: Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Almighty Tallest Purple: Who's that large headed kid?
Almighty Tallest Red: I don't know... But his head is large!
Dib: Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your home planet's coordinates!
Zim: Computer, give me all the information you have on the FBI.
Computer: The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Computer: Insufficient data.
Zim: "Insufficient data"? Can't you just make an educated guess?
Computer: O... kay... Um, founded in 1492 by, uh... demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to... uh, I dunno, fight... aliens?
Zim: I KNEW IT!
Zim: Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!
Nik: Hey look, there's a binary system. Ever been to a binary system before?
Nik: Would it... would it kill you to say something?
Oog-Ah: Quiet or I'll eat your head. That enough words for you?
Nik: I... I was just making conversation...
Gir: [Zim's compass magnetically sticks to Gir] Aww, it likes me.
Zim: Gir, do you want to wake up the entire planet?
Gir: [shouts] I do!
GIR: [shouts] I'm dancing like a monkey!
Gir: Dib's so mean to my master. He not nice to Zim. I seen it! Dib is bad!
Zim: But... invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me. Do not ignore my veins!
Zim: No, Gir. That's bad.