About
I like to watch movies, and listen to music. I can play the piano. I am good at fixing things. My favorite colors are blue, green, and purple in that order. I suck at spelling but am amazingly good at math.
Angels Explained by Children
I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
(--Gregory, age 5 )
Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore.
I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
(--Olive, age 9 )
It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go
to heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through.
And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
(--Matthew, age 9 )
Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to
go do something else.
(--Mitchell, age 7 )
My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much
good for science.
(--Henry, age 8 )
Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows.
(--Jack, age 6 )
Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven.
The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
(--Daniel, age 9 )
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts
to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a
tornado.
(--Reagan, age 10 )
Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose
a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves
money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go
north for the winter.
(--Sara, age 6 )
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's
a very good carpenter.
(--Jared, age 8 )
All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys
didn't go for it.
(--Antonio, age 9 )
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals
and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they
help the child get over it
(--Vicki, age 8 )
What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in
love , they shoot arrows at them.
(--Sarah, age 7 )
FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed,
and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,
it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering
an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to
pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance
exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test
as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I
know, &nb sp;Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:
What two days of the week
begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions
over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
tell me your answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the
first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and
he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit
for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's
got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter.
"I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied,
"it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated
and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you
came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the
world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest
one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song,
ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said: "Run, Forrest, run."
Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks.
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I had a lot of fun today.